Alloa, possibly the most depressing place on earth. Which makes it perfect for Chavs (or Neds or Schemies as they get called up here). The town centre is a perfect example of 1960′s lack of town planning. The newest building in town is the Police Station, which is conviently on the road to Sauchie, the other neaby Chavtown.
The town boasts two bus stops where Chavs hang out and drink and try to either intimidate or beg money so that they can get their next bottle of Buckfast. Nearby is the CO-OP Supermarket, where Chav Mothers can be heard telling their kids to “get into the fuckin’ store”. Convenience itself is here – the store is near to the DHS offices, and near to the council flats. Actually Alloa is just council flats and houses. It ahs the lowest property prices in Britain, but then as Chavtown of the year, that’s hardly surprising…
What a load of bollox ! Let’s get things into perspective a wee bit here :- Alloa is a fine wee town, situated within a stones-throw of the magnificent Ochil-hill foots. Alloa has good primary and secondary schools, a wee town centre, supermarkets and is within easy travelling distance of both Stirling and Falkirk. Overall, Alloa offers a pretty good geographical situation in Central Scotland, both motorway and rail links are close by.