A quick tour of Sheffield, South Yorkshire
Unfortunately most people leave sheffield because of the lack of real career opportunities present in the city, and to most people anything paying minimum wage is not seen as a long term “opportunity”. However in the “ned” mentality something which offers the opportunity for survival and reward without education is seen as exactly this.
Outside of the academic year, the number of grumpy, narrow minded people (neds/scallies/scutters/chavs etc) in England’s steel city get their “home” to themselves once again. This species can’t complete a sentence without uttering the ‘f’ word, appear older than their years and visitors be warned:- if you don’t follow one of the two absymal football teams and wear fake burberry baseball caps and tracksuits then tha wain’t fit in wi’ t’ locals!
Serious point – More men than women make for a lot of social problems, particularly after a boozy saturday night out in Kingdom. This increases the likelyhood of anyone over the age of 12 being impregnated by desperate men aged anywhere between 13 and 50+.
Any trip around the city centre, particularly the Moor precinct cannot be undertaken without playing dodgems with all the poverty-stricken people who shuffle around the city centre admiring the pigeon droppings on the precinct, counting the number of charity/discount/pound stores (must surely be some kind of world or UK record set here)? All this while simultaneously trying to avoid clattering into the 16 year old pram-pushing single mothers and not making eye contact with rude Big Issue sellers or beggars. Elsewhere in the city centre lies a street called Haymarket – providing access to Castle Market, neds of all descriptions can be found in this building, sharing one cigarette between four of them, even those neds who are about to turn 30…..Listen out for how many of them have names like kids cartoon characters e.g. Mouse, Bambi, Tigger etc. Could be in Jungle Book. Castle Market, which symbolises for poverty what the Taj Mahal did for romance. Some of this dysfunctional race actually work in here. In the vicinity of castle market are the culinary delights of Burger King, the bookmakers, Cash Generator and the Cannon public house, which serves a dual role as an electrical store on the run up to giro day where visitors may purchase as many goods as they require that “have never been paid for”. On said giro day wealthier examples of the species may be found in KFC at the top of haymarket – one day little britney may even earn enough to afford a bargain bucket of her own. If she turns to prostitution. When the species requires sprucing up for a special occasion i.e. a court appearance, they can be found in the neighbouring fashion emporium a.k.a Primark. The species travel in luxury on new low-floor public transport (when permissible and not arguing with bus drivers about the cost of the fare) during the daytime. The area must have one of the newest fleets of buses in the country, possibly as South Yorkshire has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the UK. Alas, vehicles on many routes however, after 5.30pm, are only spotted as often as Haley’s Comet appears in the sky, forcing the ned, both male and female back to the confines of their estate unless they are fortunate enough to know an older ned.
Older types of ned travel around in any 15-20 year old car which would probably come second when racing against a greyhound at the Owlerton dog stadium. In the forest which is Sheffield, examples of the species can be seen in the “wild” particularly on Batemoor, Low Edges, Jordanthorpe, Gleadless, Manor, Arbourthorne, Norfolk Park, Wybourn, Sky Edge and Parson Cross areas, but almost anywhere and at any time – when they are not in captivation at HMP.
ha this is all so very true but you forgot about the exhaust pipes on said 20 year old cars that make them sound like the long drawn out death rattle of a t-rex with terminal ass gas, and that a whole family could set up a modest home in.
I Agree About Castle Market . Yet All Of This Is Highly Exaggerated .
Sheffield Is A Beautiful City .
If You Go Away From The Chavs And Such .
There Is Hardly Any Job Opportunities .
But Dont Bash On Sheffield . I Guess You Havent Been Around Lodgemoor Or Crosspool
These Areas Are Known To Be The Wealthiest In Yorkshire .
Typing The First Letter Of Every Word In Your Message Capitalised Makes You Look Like An Idiot
saw prince harry and is bro on union street other day ,asked where rent office where, as they whant an exchange onto arbourthorne evevnthough rents are a little bit dearer than there payin now ,they,d save a bit shopping in castle market.
s5 all day firth park fuk da haters go suk ya moms sour pussy ole
im from sheffield then moved to gipton last year, gipton has also been written about so i cant win lol
Although a lot of what is stated here is soooooo very true there are a few things that are a little harsh or maybe i find them harsh because there true lol
The older than our years comment is very true and the tramps in town. i hate going to town because im always the one that gets harrassed by tramps. And its not just the big issue sellers, its all sorts of people selling things or charities, ill be on the phone having an important conversation and some charity worker will come up and start shouting down my lug hole about pandas lol i will politely say im busy (as im on the phone) and they say oh it will only take 2 minutes so i will end up just telling them to F off, they are so rude its unbelievable. Oh and yes we do use the F word every 10 seconds lol well most do.
Also the career opportunities part is 100% bang on. They always describe us on tv as the city of culture and opportunities when we are neither, if we are a city of culture and opportunities then everywhere else must be horrendous lol
Whats wrong with supporting our local team? People need something to be passionate about, we are under no illusions that our teams are in any shape or form good but there our teams and we love them, although i think its more of a sentimentality now where wednesday is concerned.
to be honest i cant argue with a lot of what was said but honestly we do not walk around in burbury!!!! lol
WELL LOOK WHOS JUST GONE DOWN PAL SORT THEE SEN AAAAT
lol i gew up in jordo then lowedges, i think they deserve their own post on here, why don’t they? cant be arsed though
the wednesday!
blades pigs will never be promoted
innit
Ha, bloody brilliant, one error though, theres ONE absymal football team (Wed***day)