Well guys, sorry to disappoint any pretentious wannabe Brightonians out there but… Brighton is a Grade ‘A’ s**thole!
I’ve been studying in what I first found to be a charming seaside town, full of exchange students and wonderfully intelligent people with ideas to share on life and a high percentage of witty, stimulating conversationalists… then… I moved off campus and into the great town of Brighton (or ‘London-by-Sea’ as it is increasingly aptly known).
Home to one of the highest rates of homelessness and drug related rime, Brighton was once the jewel of the South coast and chosen holiday destination for Mad King George’s son, George, whose ‘beach hut’ (otherwise known as Brighton pavilion) still stands proud in the center of Brighton. And by the Gods how things have changed.
Now the pavilion grounds are home to a bunch of roving homeless alcoholics (just as any open grassy area in Brighton, come to think of it), as well as the scene of many a friendly punch-up betwen gangs of local chavs. A meeting of any stranger in Brighton will doubtless lead to you making the acquaintance of an interesting person from any one of hundreds of different nationalities, British towns, or most usually London. If you are lucky enough to make the chance acquaintance of a local Brightonian then beware! Of the ten that I have actually met in my two years here, one has been a violent-minded outspoken thatcherite (capital not deserved)… “she was for the people I tell you, the people”!.. tell that to the inhabitants of many a northern town now languishing under the closures of pits etc… Another was a convicted paedophile who used to work for the Kray twins “not actually *for* them as such, they controlled the other side of the river”… and another is a knife-wielding maniac, imprisoned once for attempted murder and twice more for other, lesser crimes (GBH and ABH, if I remember correctly). Otherwise, true locals avoid carrying cash, valuables or anything less threatening than a butcher’s knife just to avoid marauding psychopaths like the greater part of Brighton chavs are…
All of this set against a background of ultra-rich London playboys (and girls) that infest Brighton’s classier nightclubs and drive ludicrously expensive cars which cost more than their age in tens of thousands. The chavs, not to be outdone, drive their barried-up novas with a rainbow of colours streaming from between their alloys with louder and louder RnB and rap streaming from their car stereos, only drowned out by the straight-through exhausts that make a noise like an ageing chainsaw chewing through a pile of rusty cans. On average, at least three police cars can be heard each day on Brighton’s busier roads (the rest take the back way), usually followed by an ambulance or two and a fire engine – just to be sure. The main road into brighton from London is a constant death-trap, the local florists do a tidy business in recycled wreaths with an A-B-C list of possible epitaphs.
Drinking establishments for the chavs are numerous, the ever-popular Creation is of course present, next to the ‘walkabout’ (actually staffed by genuine Australians in a rare departure from the norm), and across from the ever-present Weatherspoons, where the local chav is presented with his usual choice of fine lagers, Carling to Stella to suit even the lightest Burberry pockets, which are strangely not so much in evidence in the town. I can only assume that Brighton, as home to the fashionable elite of our times, such as the unforgettable Britney Spears and Boxing sensation Chris Eubank, has bred a kind of ‘superchav’ or chav royalty. Of course, they still bear their burdens of 9ct gold rings, necklaces and earrings, (maybe 10ct, this is the richest part of the UK after all), but seem to have moved on to trendier pastures than Burberry… a la mode at the moment in Brighton is an obscure variant of the FCUK theme, although stepping outside into the midst for half an hour to find a chav and ask him his opinion on cool would be enough to find out its name, I hope you can sympathise that I simply can’t be bothered to at this time of night… as well as a french ‘label’ that produces yet more identical-looking, thin wearing articles of clothing that nobody but a chav would ever pay the 10 quid that the stolen equivalent would cost.
Brighton town council has made a good job though, top respect to them, of keeping all the chav hangouts (which include a tanning studio in a gaming arcade of all places) in roughly the same place, one street, the imaginatively titled, and aptly chosen for its easily-remembered name, West street. Here is where you can find a 16-year old willing to satisfy every twisted pleasure you could imagine while her boyfriend holds your coat, a selection of the finest eateries a pissed-up chav could want, and any number of abuse-hurling, drunken twats on their way to a ‘right sesh’, or discussing the ease of ‘finding someone’ in such a small town in a pub toilet. For a delightful selection of local tales, such as ‘the one where the girl gives a guy a BJ outside a taxi-rank at club closing time’, or ‘the one where some guy twatted me in the face after hitting my mate with a balloon for half an hour, then claimed that *I* was being lairy and looking for a fight when it went to court’ look no further than the local cab drivers, who are full of humourous stories… oh, wait, that last one was mine, damn.
Anyway, not that I have anything personal against the chavs of Brighton, but this place is crazy. The famous St. James’ street, known for it’s ‘alternative feel’ so to speak… is home to the one 24hr lager selling shop in Brighton with its nightly clientele and unofficial doormen, the Glaswegian alcoholics, who I think got lost down here and kept drinking what they had begged for the train fare… whereas they come on duty at around 4am, in earlier hours you can find a medley of pleasant people storming up and down the place shouting ‘fa**ots! you’re all fa**ots! Come and have a go you qu**r scum!’ then running off when a group of them actually talks back… or the BMW RnB dudes gesturing suggestively at 14 year old girls as they walk out of a pub… most pleasant of all is the crazy-looking woman who follows you up and down the street and as you stop to roll a fag points you in the face and says ‘don’t you case me, I’m watching you’ before storming off in the opposite direction to the one she was originally walking in.
Nutters aside, though absolutely no description of Brighton could ever be complete without them, relevant or not, Brihton is THE place to be for the aspiring southern chav. Tim Westwood was once reputed to be DJing in a tent at the Radio 1 party, and a particularly impressed looking chav who had apparently been invited to his afterparty but ‘got lost’ and ended up crashing a student party, he had, of course, to be moved aside and forbidden from knowing the name or number of the party he had just left (probably to buy fags and water) was easily deflected by a reply of ‘ye m8′ to every utterance he made in the fifteen minute-long ‘conversation’ – one thing you can say for chavs – they’re easily moved aside if you can look them in the eye long enough…
So, advice to anyone thinking of travelling to Brighton, be like the wise locals, carry nothing of value, as an 18 year old American girl recently found out losing all of her earthly possissions, her cash, passport and, bizarrely, surname in a chance meeting with one of the more enterprising chavs of the area; don’t look anyone in the eye, or indeed at them at all if they are more obviously pissed or otherwise chemically charged (you learn a kind of peripheral sixth-sense for the intoxication levels of people you meet after a while), and practice by building up your running speed and find out where local police stations are before you come. Don’t get caught out after 4am when police coverage becomes dangerously low, and keep a spare twenty quid handy for the extortionate taxis in case you are desperate.
The trouble of brighton is the abundance of scum bag anarchists in their converted shitty vans, Dog walkers letting animal shit all over the place including the beach and prom, London trash moved from estates down Brighton, To Many lefties and sub primes, The recent influx of boney arced women in Q7,s x5,s and disco,s are quiet annoying , Having to encounter weird old men staring at your John Thomas in Bogs, every surrounding Beauty spot full of weird men in cars staring and wanking,
Bull Dykes, To many Italian resturants run and owned by people from middle east.
Joggers on prom .
Good Points Waitrose, Getting a boat, Kyte surfing, Beach at low tide in the summer, cycle ride to saltdean from the lagoon, Music, only 50 mins to victoria, Sugar dough bread,, Saying thanks to bus drivers, festival, 1 montpellier road, Pavilion , Liberal fun loving people, the downs ( without the doggers and twanks)
Brighton is really small minded. People think that they are liberal minded but secretly they are totally fascist, racist and Conservative. People of Brighton have no class, style or manners. Brighton should be in the worst part of Essex. People in Brighton are really smug about their lives because they have never opened their eyes and seen anything outside of their pathetic little village. Anyone can succeed in Brighton because the level of talent is so low. It’s a big, under-achieving bubble. Don’t go to Brighton or you’ll stay there and never achieve anything of any consequence. Get out and go to London or another real city, and you’ll put things in perspective and realise how small the place is. Only go there if you are unable to cope with real challenges, due to mental illness or drug addiction, like 80% of the people who live there.
(And by the way, unlike most of the contributors here, I’m actually from Brighton, so I know what I’m talking about.)
You don’t live in Brighton, or you would know that it isn’t in Essex. Complete idiot, if you do indeed live here, please remove yourself (we’re fine without you).
Quentin said brighton should be in the worst part of essex, he didnt say brighton is in essex doh, so typical of a brightonian chav oh and by the way i lived in brighton for 20 years and hated it
your a mug , brighton is one of the better cities in england ….. if your a little girl who is scared of your own shadow then i suggest you stay in your home and dont ever leave !!!! people like you are prime targets for chavs , gangs and to be fair normal people like me … you dont no what your talking about when it comes to brighton so i suggest you keep your mouth closed DICK !!!!!
Its you Gay bois that frighten me with your student twat hardman style – har har
ya’ll scared like some bitches. brighton is peaceful, chavs are scared little fags running round in their faggy gangs, just tell them where to f*** off and wave a bottle at them and watch how fast they lose their courage. majority of people here are decent, if you wanna see a real shitehole try penmaenmawr.
Its a great place if you looking for a bumming
I’ve lived here for 11 years from London. Its not chavvy at all. The only elements are the ones that come here from other places because its so attractive to everyone.
Personally they can all stay at home and leave those of us who can afford to live by the sea to our terrible fate
Drugs are a product of having two unis here and the history shows that people have always come here…When I was a young lad in South London it was the place to visit on a summers weekend.
Those who criticise should stay away in their crummy towns with only three empty pubs, a KFC a MCD and a curry/chinese…..and carry on reading the Daily Mail…..We dont need them….
Yeah its fantastic,not Chavy at all,its full of cool dudes like me,Im 57 years old and a Mod and I love Brighton,its the only place in Ive lived in the Uk where people dont crease up laughing and point at me becouse I look like a utter pillock dressed in my Mod gear,riding down the road on my union jack painted Vespa that Ive stuck loads of mirrers and extra lights on and stuff so I look like a all year round mobile Christmas tree.Just like I did as a spotty spoilt imature teenager growing up in my parents house on the wild streets of rural Rickmansworth in the 60s.Oh yes theres nothing I like better than on a Bank holiday weekend than listening to the sounds of My Generation and Boris the Spider on my Mp3 player dressed in my fishtail parker that my imaginary girlfriend has painted The Who on the back of for me.Give all me mirrers a good old polish then put on my 1960s pudding basin helmet I brought off ebay,start her up,all 125cc of her,suck in my pot belly and ease my rhuematic creaking body on her,and tear off making as much noise as possible,riding up and down Brighton sea front pretending to look for Rockers that dont exist anymore to ruck with.What a buzz,you just cant beat it,the feeling that at any secound hundreds of non existant chain and deckchair waving rockers dressed in greasy studded leathers could appear around any corner on Triumph Bonnivilles and BSA Goldstars..Arrhhhhh the thrill of it all makes dressing up like a total pillock worthwhile,the biggist buzz of all is having people stop and stare open mouthed at how cool I look on my hair dryer,as I speed past in a blur at 38mph,all proberly thinking Im my hero Phill Daniels high on speed,on my way to drive off the cliffs at Beachey Head in a fit of mixed up heartbroken teenage suicidal rage to the sounds of Roger Daltry singing Teenage Wasteland in my massive sticky out hair filled jug ears.
It is also a VERY GAY town so that has to be a positive thing and no, i don’t mean HIV……come on, yes there are drugs etc but that’s because the town has a very left wing view towards homelessness and altered states of mind – it has great weather and good provisions for homeless people.
It is extremely fashionable with loads of trendy independent boutiques and that’s just the North Laine – check out Kemptown village. It also has one of the strongest property markets in the UK, enjoying high growth rates…..if you can’t acknowledge this, maybe you’re a chav?
realy is that so,well I dont find having my eyes superglued shut when Im asleep in my sleeping bag and then being thrown in the sea off the pier in a force 9 gale very left wing.
I honestly think that Brighton is an alright place to live in – BUT, Whitehawk has to be the worst place in brighton to live in because some scumbags broke into my house and stole my laptop, my phone and my car keys. Then some chavvy kids threw eggs and a brick into my window, my children were terrified especially my daughter, she said she hated the place, it really kind of hurt me but, 2 months later she decided that she was okay with the place. Now she’s still terrified because some kids smashed my new car and stole our things in the car.
Ha har harrr Ill be round with some more eggs tonight
If he does manage the Hove branch of Barclays, he better not give me a hard time the next time I go to cash a cheque, because that is cruel.
The kid that wrote this is such a ponce. I imagine he went into West Street one night with Tarquin, Jez and the rest of the Zany Bunch from B-Dorm, quoted Huxley at a bouncer, and got punched.
He probably manages the Hove branch of Barclays now.
I lived in Brighton for 19 and 1/2 years.
I currently live in North Kent and I know that Brighton is not a chav town. They are the most hated of all creeds by the vast amount of normal people of Brighton. The pikey situation is under control nowadays and the council have constructed numerous gippo ditches throughout the greenbelt. London folk are plentyful on the weekends, so the best nights are during the week. Foreign people are advised by the language companies to go back to there residences after dark, so not alot really come out at night, which is a shame, because there a damn site more fun than the locals. You can see them leaving in droves on the buses after 9pm!
The real scum are thankfully segregated to Whitehawk, Moulscombe and Worthing. West Street, Western Road, the seafront beyond the Concord II and the Marina are best avoided at night though, because as with all places there are areas that we just dont go after dark. Oceana is the worst chav meat market of them all. The only time I’ve ever had trouble is when my friend was assaulted by a fat ugly bouncer at Digital, which is lets face it…a pretty shitty indie fag hide out, full of stuck up arseholes.
Brighton dosn’t really have that huge a drug problem. Theres more recreational drugs than anything else, like pills and weed – basically whats going around in the modern school system anyway. Theres no point saying you wouldn’t want your kids growing up there because of the drugs, its something that you have to learn about as you grow up anyway, whether you choose to experiment with them or not. You will see skag heads and drunks from time to time, but only in the places you’d expect to see them.
Brighton isn’t an amazing place as everyone makes out though, but its better than most other places.
Peace yallllll
I have had many experiences both bad and good.
I am a door supervisor in brighton and i hate the city and the people in it. Chavs just the village idiots and you dont expect much of them, for me the real scum are the mass of tourists and the so called middle classes who are rude drunk violent abusive ignorant arrogant sexual devient and happy to piss shit or and puke in the street and thats just the girls.
I moved to brighton from lewisham in 1991 and i have just moved out of brighton and only have to come to it for my day job . i used to work doors in west street in the late 80s and 90s and it was a shit hole then and its a shit hole now and it will never change.
chavs are scum but goths are more scummy….tbh i just hate everyone.
i agree with Bouncer, everybody heads to west street and along the seafront to clubs that are overated. people are rude, racist and fake, ive moved back to london after living in brighton for 20 years its a horrible place, there must be the same amount of traffic wardens as there are students, people are everywhere its so overpopulated you cant move walking round town. car parks are all over priced so is eating out, if you are born and bred in Brighton and havent lived anywhere else then you actually cant see what others see, its a dive and i hate the place
Brighton is not a chav town, BUT and it’s a big but it has a huge drug problem!! I’ve been offered drugs numerous times in Brighton everyone – rich, poor, old, young etc seems to do drugs here. Could never live there, it’s OK to visit but that’s it, would never bring up kids in Brighton it’s just not the right place.
Im nearly 89 years of age and LCD has never done me no harm,or smack or coke,or smoking 400 fags a day,Ive never had a days illness in my life,which I put down to my heavey drug taking.Instead of running away from the problem you should let your children experiment with drugs,force them to take them even.Just lock them in a spare room with some pink floyd music and some of thoses flashing coloured lights you can buy at Currys and some LSD lolly pops,theyll have the time of their little lives.
Go and live somewhere far away
Agree too! Hardly any chavs in Brighton, which is one of the most vibrant, excentric, colorful, bohemian and exciting cities in the UK. I am proud to live here and wouldn’t move anywhere else. Homeless people are not chavs, and if there are quite a few of them here it’s maybe because they are more accepted, just like in San Francisco.
Agreed, West Street is a dump, but noody forces you to go near there! Brighton + Chavs = a myth!
I quite agree!!
Yes there are chav elements in brighton the good far weigh out the bad!!!
I love Brighton I would’nt live anywhere else.
How things have changed since this was wrote in 2004. I have had the pleasure of living in Brighton for 3 years now and i’m unable to relate to much of this. There is a big homelessness problem in Brighton but only because of them being kicked out of a large neighbouring city to the north. The Pavilion gardens hardly contain any drunks rather musicians and students alike with families even frequenting the area to enjoy picnics in the large grassy areas. Chavs are completely outnumbered by the other classes of societies pushed out to the fringes of Worthing now, scared by the homosexuals of Brighton, who don’t cause trouble and are ever more polite and helpful than that of the aforementioned chavs that infest the outer subeurbs of Brighton. The ultra rich London Playboys you speak of are obviously going to visit our city, its a desirable place to spend a week or weekend as it is quite close to a large mass of water thats enjoyable to spend your time there, not too mention the shopping which is quite often outdoors, great because of the warth of the Brighton sun. The rest of your arguement seems to be based around chavs which I have mentioned and can quite honestly say bears no relevance as little as five years later. This is largely thanks to the residence of Brighton and the great people who visit the city. Except this guy. Leave and never come back. You’re not welcome. x