Fame
Two films – Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush, Boston Kickout – were set in Stevenage and don’t exactly paint it in a favourable light.
Ian Poulter, the golfer who wears stupid trousers, also comes from Stevenage, although he’s so proud of his roots he now prefers to say that he was born in Hertfordshire, wherever he thinks that is.
Twinned with:
Hell
Fashion/Lifestyle
If the Eighties was the decade that style forgot, then Stevenage is the town that taste, intelligence and humour bypassed completely.
Elizabeth Duke’s cheeky sovs, one for each meaty knuckle, shite slouchy boots for the girls and prison white trainers for the lads. Burberry, Von Dutch caps, shoot me now please.
Nightlife
Pulse and Vogue or Pukey and Vomit in the Leisure Park are the two main clubs – one is for the over-12s, one for the over-45s.
Full of chavs and chavslags, most of whom think you need a passport to get out of Stevenage.
So dark in each that finding the bar can be a mission, although that could be because because no unchav could ever enter that place short of being pissed out of their skulls. For those on the pull (you really that desperate?), be warned. Due to the lack of light and over-abundance of chavs, when the lights come up at the end of the night, the screaming begins.
Leisure activity
Gathering in groups outside the Oval, or forming chavtastic gangs called ‘lots’, according to their pathetic chav Stevenage sub-region. Such as the Pin Green Lot. Woooh. Scary, eh? Not exactly the hardest gang name in the world. But, like LA’s Crips and Bloods, they have their own walk, or shuffle – to the dole office once a week.
Chavs also like ‘Barrying around’ in their shite cars, scaring grannies witless and doing ‘drive-bys’ with the amps turned up to 11 in the Leisure Park pumping out Fiddy Cent or third rate R&B.
Although the introduction of speed bumps all around the Leisure Park a couple of years ago meant a couple of lowered suspensions were lowered permanently. Which was amusing.
Other nightlife
Jaks, Chicago Rock Café, possibly one of the most soulless places on earth, Spoons (x2), Maccy D’s (x2), KFC, Burger King, Lidl, TK Maxx, JJB
Town centre
No-go zone after dark. High chance of getting jumped by chavs ‘Woryewlookinat?’ or ‘Yewlookinamyburd?’ their favourite clarion calls before your head gets caved in by 20 Burberry beauts
Redeeming characteristics
None
whats wrong with tkmaxx?
Stevenage is full of thick glue sniffing bell ends. Drop a nuke on it, its the only way to be sure
What can I say, total f*cking dump. I worked at the Matra-Marconi Space place in Stevenage for a year. In that time I went to an area filled with giant sheds with different names which is where you go in Stevenage if you want a night out – apparantly. Usual scuffles broke out by about 8 in the evening. In fact I can hardly believe that walked back to my car on my own after 11 and am still here to tell the tale.
It was even worse during teh day. I went into the town to get a stamp or something similar. Chav central: 12 year old mums, mal-nourished spotty boys mumbling and swearing. Of course we looked like spacemen or aliens to the chavs as we were wearing hotherto unseen garments like shirts, trousers, ties, shoes. It was so awful I never ventured there again. To put this into perspective I grew up in Watford and Stevenage is actually even worse. Never go there,ever, not even for a minute. If you live there, save your pennies (you can do this by not by over-priced f*cking crap sportswear every five minutes) and leave!