ME:
I’ve lived in Chesterfield all my life (23 yrs) and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s not as bad as people make it out to be, sure it’s called “Chav-Vegas” or “Ches-Vegas” but that’s only because of the mad nightlife, flashing tacky lights and the local fat slag’s that give it a bad name. If you wanna get into a feight, just go to Brim on a Sunday Neight! I’ve had it all here, drinking, college years, girls, memories and most of all my friends. Read on for the real Chesterfield…
FEIGHTIN:
There have been a few murders in (ahem) Brim recently, from stabbings and beatings to rapes and women getting their heads blown off with shotguns….Yes people, Brimington* is really that rough, be afraid, be very afraid. The local girls (yes, a lot are girls, some only 14!) have tattoos plastered down their forearms and more bling bling than Mr. T – “I ain’t getting on no plane fool!”
(* = Brimington Common is not associated with Brimington, the common is roughly 1 mile north of Brimington and it’s a very nice place to live, seriously it is. The only let down is that it’s on a main road into Brim, so you get all the copper choppers out looking for joyriders and smack ‘eads from Inky and Barraa Hill)
TAHN CENTA DAYTIME:
Anyway back to the town centre. Like all Chavs, I ‘ate ‘em. Most are teenagers wearing Burberry and Rockport with a hint of Henri Lloyd and Reebok, but you also get some older ones that have just come out of jail – You can tell who these are by their outdated Naff Naff 54 coats and tear drop tattoo’s under their eyes….Euuuugh!
Chavette’s also ponder around the town centre pushing prams at the ripe old age of 16 and Gozzin on ’toad flooower whilst chewing gum and smoking. Thursday is classed as freaks day, you get all the poor chavs and scrubbers looking for “BAAARGINS” on the 2nd hand flea market….eeeek!
You must listen out on the market for the fruit man, Jeez I can remember this bloke from when I was 2! There’s also a baker that sells bread at the bottom of the Market Hall, he chants just as loud, something along the lines of “Come get yer bread bags, 2 for a pound, pound get yer bread bags”……whatever he says it doesn’t make sense!
There’s nothing better than perusing the shops on a Saturday afternoon, you’ve got Rebel, Circle, The Vault and Zebra. That’s about it for good clothes, but there’s always Wilko’s and Pri Mark for the Chavs. Watch out for Chavs with McDonald’s straws, they buy little sweets called Trillions from the Candybox opposite Zanzibar and spit them at you!
If you fancy eating out I suggest going without, you’ve either got Maccy D’s which is full of Chavtastic teens or you’ve got 2 Wetherspoon pubs to choose from, go in either of them and you’ll come out with a bloody face!
TAHN CENTA NIGHTLIFE:
The ‘neatleaf’ in Chesterfield is OK for a small town. It’ll never match Sheff/Notts/Leeds etc because of its size. The best pubs to go are generally anywhere in the centre apart from RITTERS and CLUB FEVER – If you value your life and your boyish good looks then stay away. RITTERS is full of football hooligans and chavs that will glass you just for a laugh, but it does have one good thing about it, Tuesday night = Strippers Night! Go here on a Tuesday evening for an eyeful of Chesterfield’s finest shaved p*ssy, big tats and lap dancing….and it’s free, rock on lads!
Zanzibar is Chesterfield’s premier nightclub (www.zanzibar.co.uk) with bottles costing £3.80 it’s only for the upperclass! Still quite a lot of Chavette’s and phat slags beggin for a pint of cider though. “Please Mr. gerrus a pint and I’ll suck yer….”
Xanadu and the Brad (Genesis for you young ‘ens!) used to be awesome until they both flopped and went under, oh the memories of Xanadu in the Hollywood bar!!!
If you’re not old enough for drinking and you’ve just past your test, you can take your mum’s car to the Donut and hang around with the Biker Mice (scooter kids) and act cool. The Donut is a big car park in the centre of Chesterfield where all the boy racers and bikers hang out. They also race round the Donut like it’s Daytona or summat! (some of the cars are mint though – keep up the good work lads. As for you cheap wannabe modders, please don’t try and get your car looking good by spending a few hundred quid. Modifying cars isn’t cheap; you need to do it properly by buying top spec stuff and getting it sprayed at a proper body shop, not in your mate’s garage!)
ACCENT:
Yeah the Chessy lingo is awesome, check it out me duck:
Orate mate, wot’s thaa doin toneet ?– Are you ok, what are you doing tonight?
As tha bont tha sen? – Have you burn’t yourself?
Gerrit Daan Thee Duck – Use this if you pull a bird, works wonders!
Rattled vis bod last neet duck – Had sex with a girl last night
Gis a fag maaayte or I’ll knock ya f*ckin ‘ead off – Can I have a cigarette please?
Get tha sen daan barra ill if tha wants some smack duck– Go to Barrow Hill if you want some drugs!
STUDENT LIFE:
Chessy attracts all sorts of people, from Goths and Rockers to Pretty Boys and Chavs. Chesterfield College is the place to be, whether you have the intelligence of a rat or the skills of a fox, it’s all their for you, and guess what, its government funded so this means you can have another chance to get your GCSE’s/A-levels for free! All the cool kids hang around outside at break times smoking a cigarette, then they go to the refectory to get a bacon and hash brown cob with brown sauce! (Some little ba*tard chavs even steal food and drink, not mentioning any names *ahem* Riddler!)
There are also some really fit birds there too, so if you’re single and 16, go to college and put a bun in the oven, spread your seed, you don’t want to get left behind do you boys?!
That’s about it for now, thanks for reading my views on Ches-Vegas and I’ll try and think of some more stories and photo’s to post!
REMEMBER: If you want to fit in to Chesterfield just miss words out of sentences and add the word “Duck” at the end…..how simple is that?! Try it….Are you goin to shop duck!?
What the hell man, who ever wrote this needs to have a re-look at chesterfield. It’s no we’re near as bad as he makes it. Ok we do have chavs and fat slags but only the same as every other place. Plus brimington does have its bad spot, the “white city” but the other end is a nice family estate with an above average school. Clearly the writer is some old biggit who is stool in there way and needs to get a grip. rank over!
Why are the women in Chesterfield so grossly obese? Walk round town and most of them look as if they live c/o Greggs, Fat City. Whole families from grandma, mother and brats, all so fat their thighs rub together. They are dismally disgusting. Is there some sort of club in this town which only admits horrendously fat, low life people? The membership must be over subscribed!
I came back from town on the bus today with the smelly people and was nearly squashed by the fat bitch sat next to me, but there were 2 young couples on the bus, and I mean YOUNG, like children, with the obligatory push chairs complete with their very own little bastards. The only difference between the parents and their misbegotten offspring was about 12 years, an armful of tattoos and various piercings. Children having children, it’s so sad!
It’s all easy to fix though. Cut their benefits and the fat twats won’t be able to afford pies from Greggs, and stop giving council flats to kids who breed like flies. Seemples!
I love chesterfield. born here:) 20 years old. The majority of girl’s are fat or slags TRUE. And yes the majority of guys in this town are players and dick’s towards girls…. but one thing we are NOT is CHAVS!
We had one called Dwaine Witworth. . BUT HE’S IN JAIL NOW SO JUST DROP IT YE?!
peace:3
Who ever wrote this is a f**king idiot! I’m from chesterfield and I haven’t been abused by anyone I am 15 and I live in holmewood and people say that’s bad just because everyone knows eachother but come on we are all nice people. Chesterfield is nice day and night but with cunts like you slagging chesterfield off doesn’t make it better does it? No it doesn’t you stereotypical prick! Bet you haven’t even visited chesterfield and your saying we are all chav’s well we aren’t! So get your head daaaan! For posh people like you it means ‘ get f**ked off’ because I think you know what that means! like you was saying we talk like chav’s!
”born and bred”in chesterfield (and very proud of the fact) it saddens me
to read of my beloved home towns loss of identity and pride.
growing up in this wonderful old town in the best county in england was
to me a privilege.
the importance setting a good standard of behaviour,morals and being a
respected member of the community was a way of life for most people (there was of course always an exeption to the rule !)
it has been many years since my last visit home,but my memories are clear and very dear and in a way i am glad to remember that piece of england ”as it was” please look after each other and remember that chesterfield does not need to be in competition with anywhere else….it is unique.sending good wishes and thoughts……
“Arite m8, you got ne green?”
“Now then c*nt”
“How we guin?”
Chesterfield is shit, but hey, it’s no shitter than most other shit places in the UK. Long live Ches Vegas!
Chesterfield is great actually!
Now Scumfield…or rather Sheffield – yuck, ugh and agggh!
Sheffield is full of wanna-be-southerners (sheffielders) or…chucked out of the south southerners…couldnt make it down south so crawled up to sheffield to hide and become pretend northerners ha!
Pathetic – both sets of people are pathetic: the wanna-be-southerners think that sheffield is “just laark london! wow, its got chuffin cashpoints and John Lewis and street traders!” and the pretend northerners are busy busy busy introducing southern do-gooder ways such as recycling and ‘forgiving the reasoning behind criminal behaviour of the poor dispossessed ex-mining steel working populus’ – these city of steel morons are ALL chavs in my opinion.
All moron-ing around in their 4×4′s showing off their Zentan bottled bodies and buying tickets to see Paulo Nuttini, thinking they live,breathe and ARE something.
maybe they are. they just look cheap and sound nasty to me and should stop trying to look down their twisted noses at harmless places like Chesterton.
cant beat chessy
love it
yeah cos youve never been further than Chesterfields off licences in your life.
Ohhh good lord, this has painted a bad picture for chesterfield. Iv lived here since I was 5 and have run pubs in the town center for the past 3 years, true u do get the odd few idiots in town who will pick a fight with a toilet brush if they had the chance, and I have seen people been bottled and beat up in the middle of the street…but that’s any town on a night out, its what happens when people drink too much. Town in the daytime is a lovley place, people are always polite and iv even seen said ‘chavs’ who wear henri lloyd and reebok helping old people or disabled people with their shopping and stuff. I’m not going to say stop dissing chesterfield because I hate it as much as the next person does…but its where people have grown up, its a small town where u are likley to know 2 out of 5 people u walk past if u grew up here. As for brimington…its not as bad as it used to be now the police have cracked down on drugs, and the main culprits round there were the pubs. That’s all.
Ive been in your pub lady,I no who you are,you cant fool me just becouse your a transvesstite doesnt mean you can suck the customers off in the toilets for 12 bucks a go,and then come on a website pretending butter doesnt melt in your mouth if your excuse the expression.
Peter Griffin, that is the best post I have read on this site! Will you marry me and have my children?
LMFAO & pretty much every bird here has been knocked up by Jay Gaines
yeah Jay Gaines the infamous chicken fucker
Lol u know him well
LMFAO @ the persons chezy lingua…think dee darr is the nearest you get to that you rem. Chezy is thea north of Englands best traditional market town and best night out ever. Who ever said shootings, slashings ect in Brimminton has been sniffing to much glue on Sheffield trainstation before hacking there wifi and posting…hmm. Tell us 1 town what does not have fools, drug addicts, thiefs ect and CHAVS…erm, if your British, you cant…thats final. Every town has them, even yours yes….
Yorkshire puddings are jealous that we have such historic, nice clean market town, yea owd crooked spire, great pubs, and the best people what speak english…dee darr dumm. Not your fault you was born in a city slum, split by 2 pathetic football teams. Notice how they built medowhall as far out of Sheffield as possible…good thinking.
Derbyshire and proud!!!
Omg how bad do u make Chesterfield sound. I on the other hand have lived in Cheterfield all my life which is alot longer than most of u (34 yrs) and i think it is a very nice town to live in i have 2 children who i send to school in chesterfield and are very polite and not one bit a Chav. Chesterfield is a very interesting town from our crooked spire to our markets. Alot of people would love to live in Chesterfield i know there as been some murders an stabbings but im sure they are mild compared to some cities you dont hear of drive by shootings or people walking around with guns here. Im sure when your older an more mature you may change your opinion till then good luck because with that attitude im sure you will b the one who gets a beating oh and i agree with Nicola we dont talk like that it is de da talk which is Sheffield .
Cheterfield all your life ay?I went to Wapford in Herpfordshire once and Saint Albums to see the Woman ruins,simalar to Barf .Ive also been to Hi Wycombe and Soofend on See,and Fetford.I must try Bodford and Dumpstable and Huton sometime.Ive been looking for a tourists map for all these places but none seem to exist.
I’m glad to hear they are only “mild” murders and stabbings now. When I lived there, a long time ago, it was a really rough place.
lol at chezzie wippers ha! what a JOKE!
hahahhahahahahaaaaaaa pmsl yep this is o so true love it
Okay, seriously what the hell are you lot on about, Chesterfield isn’t like that!! I live on Alma estate and i’ve never even witnessed a crime at all and i’ve lived here all my life. And another thing we are NOT illiterate cunts like you make out!! We can talk and whoever first posted this shut the f**k up cos most of those ‘quotes’ are from Sheffield!!! I’ve never known anyone get ‘slashed’ or anything, infact there isn’t even that much of a chav town!!! Mainly normal people live here along with a few young but within legal age mums and elderly people!!! The fact that none of you have even mentioned Queens Park tells me that you obviously don’t go to Chesterfield that often and as for the nightlife…it’s SHIT!!! So seriously shut the f**k up and visit Chesterfield once in a while before you start judging it you stereotyping twats!!! And just so you know I’ve hung round with most ‘cliques’ including chavs and indie kids and chavs aren’t even that bad, they’ve just got a bad name!!! And no I’m not a chav…I like You Me At Six!!!
Well said sweetness….These dee dars all in the same jar…Attercliff, manor top, pittsmoor…nice places of sheffield.
ooh, you are a bit of a potty-mouth though.
So true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and yes didnt read the food bit actualy the cunts do nick ur food at the college the f**king hungry imbred sheep offsprings
Another jealous yorkshire pudding….ZZzzzzzz. A Place were people nick your food??? Are you sure youve been to even school kid, ney mind a college?? Im not so sure!
h8 this place so much i live near there full of cunts who try to nick stuff and expect you to do nothing i f**king swang for one who tried to steal my lighter and the c**t does f**k all back lol chesterfield college is the worst worst than west notts and thats saying something so u cn imagine how shit it is my advice to the person above f**king leave while u still can cs thats wt im doin
You obviously not lived anywere else in your sad lonely life then….ive served in Bosnia and belive me, Sheffield, Mansfield, Notts…there all worst. Chezy best town in England!!! Like i say, tell me a town what dont have chavs and drugys ect….YOU CANT, COS THEY ALL HAVE THEM!!!!
Kim do u stil live in chesterfield
hey i hav lived in chezzy all ma life (15years) n jus so u no i aint a chav!! brim reali aint as bad as that dudes makin out. yea theres been murders i shud no i witnessed dat gal havin her head blown off. but i hate walkin up brim 2 meet ma mates cos of all da brim crew out side brim club. i get on wi em all but they all wayz pissed on cider so u neva no wot they gona do lol. n yea brim common is da best part of brim lol but it alwayz smells of horse shit. best nite 4 goin out 4 all those old enough 2 drink is a sun nite. as 4 the parks u dnt c lil kids on em but da teenagers dat wish they wer lil agen (get a life). as 4 da chavs u no who u r the chavs r gettin younger i saw a chav dat wo like 11 otha day n wen i asked him “r u a chav or wot” he sed ” as if i am a chav” i mean cum on if a chav dnt try n hide it. every month the zanzi as a unders nite dis is wen all da boy racers drive past lookin 4 a lil bit of action frm 1 of da galz desperate enough. gurlz watch hu u luk at cos sum of da gurlz wi think u givin em dirty looks n they wil hav da claws in ya b4 u no it. the decent lads r taken or gay the others r chavs r jus scrubbers. theres dif groups in chezzy u hav ur chavs that hang round out side mc donalds, n den the twnies dat go 2 da snooker centre, the goths they go where eva i dnt reali care n den jus the normal average ppl of britain (me n ma mates) we jus go 2 twn wen we need sumthin n not jus 2 hang round out side shops n shit like dat. erm wot else is there. o yea nite life in twn wel ders a selection of clubs n bars frm the zanzibar to huggie bears n ritters. n behind comit is where ppl hav a quicky wi sum chick/lad they jus pulled mingin aint it lol at least get a room. anyway i wunt change chezzy or brim cos its neva borin lol