ME:
I’ve lived in Chesterfield all my life (23 yrs) and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s not as bad as people make it out to be, sure it’s called “Chav-Vegas” or “Ches-Vegas” but that’s only because of the mad nightlife, flashing tacky lights and the local fat slag’s that give it a bad name. If you wanna get into a feight, just go to Brim on a Sunday Neight! I’ve had it all here, drinking, college years, girls, memories and most of all my friends. Read on for the real Chesterfield…
FEIGHTIN:
There have been a few murders in (ahem) Brim recently, from stabbings and beatings to rapes and women getting their heads blown off with shotguns….Yes people, Brimington* is really that rough, be afraid, be very afraid. The local girls (yes, a lot are girls, some only 14!) have tattoos plastered down their forearms and more bling bling than Mr. T – “I ain’t getting on no plane fool!”
(* = Brimington Common is not associated with Brimington, the common is roughly 1 mile north of Brimington and it’s a very nice place to live, seriously it is. The only let down is that it’s on a main road into Brim, so you get all the copper choppers out looking for joyriders and smack ‘eads from Inky and Barraa Hill)
TAHN CENTA DAYTIME:
Anyway back to the town centre. Like all Chavs, I ‘ate ‘em. Most are teenagers wearing Burberry and Rockport with a hint of Henri Lloyd and Reebok, but you also get some older ones that have just come out of jail – You can tell who these are by their outdated Naff Naff 54 coats and tear drop tattoo’s under their eyes….Euuuugh!
Chavette’s also ponder around the town centre pushing prams at the ripe old age of 16 and Gozzin on ’toad flooower whilst chewing gum and smoking. Thursday is classed as freaks day, you get all the poor chavs and scrubbers looking for “BAAARGINS” on the 2nd hand flea market….eeeek!
You must listen out on the market for the fruit man, Jeez I can remember this bloke from when I was 2! There’s also a baker that sells bread at the bottom of the Market Hall, he chants just as loud, something along the lines of “Come get yer bread bags, 2 for a pound, pound get yer bread bags”……whatever he says it doesn’t make sense!
There’s nothing better than perusing the shops on a Saturday afternoon, you’ve got Rebel, Circle, The Vault and Zebra. That’s about it for good clothes, but there’s always Wilko’s and Pri Mark for the Chavs. Watch out for Chavs with McDonald’s straws, they buy little sweets called Trillions from the Candybox opposite Zanzibar and spit them at you!
If you fancy eating out I suggest going without, you’ve either got Maccy D’s which is full of Chavtastic teens or you’ve got 2 Wetherspoon pubs to choose from, go in either of them and you’ll come out with a bloody face!
TAHN CENTA NIGHTLIFE:
The ‘neatleaf’ in Chesterfield is OK for a small town. It’ll never match Sheff/Notts/Leeds etc because of its size. The best pubs to go are generally anywhere in the centre apart from RITTERS and CLUB FEVER – If you value your life and your boyish good looks then stay away. RITTERS is full of football hooligans and chavs that will glass you just for a laugh, but it does have one good thing about it, Tuesday night = Strippers Night! Go here on a Tuesday evening for an eyeful of Chesterfield’s finest shaved p*ssy, big tats and lap dancing….and it’s free, rock on lads!
Zanzibar is Chesterfield’s premier nightclub (www.zanzibar.co.uk) with bottles costing £3.80 it’s only for the upperclass! Still quite a lot of Chavette’s and phat slags beggin for a pint of cider though. “Please Mr. gerrus a pint and I’ll suck yer….”
Xanadu and the Brad (Genesis for you young ‘ens!) used to be awesome until they both flopped and went under, oh the memories of Xanadu in the Hollywood bar!!!
If you’re not old enough for drinking and you’ve just past your test, you can take your mum’s car to the Donut and hang around with the Biker Mice (scooter kids) and act cool. The Donut is a big car park in the centre of Chesterfield where all the boy racers and bikers hang out. They also race round the Donut like it’s Daytona or summat! (some of the cars are mint though – keep up the good work lads. As for you cheap wannabe modders, please don’t try and get your car looking good by spending a few hundred quid. Modifying cars isn’t cheap; you need to do it properly by buying top spec stuff and getting it sprayed at a proper body shop, not in your mate’s garage!)
ACCENT:
Yeah the Chessy lingo is awesome, check it out me duck:
Orate mate, wot’s thaa doin toneet ?– Are you ok, what are you doing tonight?
As tha bont tha sen? – Have you burn’t yourself?
Gerrit Daan Thee Duck – Use this if you pull a bird, works wonders!
Rattled vis bod last neet duck – Had sex with a girl last night
Gis a fag maaayte or I’ll knock ya f*ckin ‘ead off – Can I have a cigarette please?
Get tha sen daan barra ill if tha wants some smack duck– Go to Barrow Hill if you want some drugs!
STUDENT LIFE:
Chessy attracts all sorts of people, from Goths and Rockers to Pretty Boys and Chavs. Chesterfield College is the place to be, whether you have the intelligence of a rat or the skills of a fox, it’s all their for you, and guess what, its government funded so this means you can have another chance to get your GCSE’s/A-levels for free! All the cool kids hang around outside at break times smoking a cigarette, then they go to the refectory to get a bacon and hash brown cob with brown sauce! (Some little ba*tard chavs even steal food and drink, not mentioning any names *ahem* Riddler!)
There are also some really fit birds there too, so if you’re single and 16, go to college and put a bun in the oven, spread your seed, you don’t want to get left behind do you boys?!
That’s about it for now, thanks for reading my views on Ches-Vegas and I’ll try and think of some more stories and photo’s to post!
REMEMBER: If you want to fit in to Chesterfield just miss words out of sentences and add the word “Duck” at the end…..how simple is that?! Try it….Are you goin to shop duck!?
This is a load of rubbis, iv live in brimington 14 years now and yeah I qgree with some chavs about because they all hang around at the bis stop, they do course trouble but they aint that bad, barrow hill is loads worse than brim you have people threatening when you have done nothing wrong and you have young lasses walkin round from the age of 14 shaggin men in there 20+, and none of the pubs/clubs are as bad as what these lot make them sound and the accent , well iv never heard nothing like it before, we talk like everyone else most chav talk you would hear is “init man” thats my rant over…Bye byee.
I love how clearly fake this is. For one no one says tahn(tarn) in chesterfield and we certainly don’t say chessy and every one knows duck is a regional dialect (Midlands) and is not specific to chesterfield. You could have at least made it seem believable, seriously wouldn’t surprise me if someone from a residing area such mansfield, sheffield, dronfield and made this up as this is inaccurate. No one 23yrs old speaks like that in chesterfield and if they do they it would be pretence.
Thank you for making this pathetic poorly composed childrens story it made my day. By the way i’m not defending chesterfield as there is many things wrong with our town not but bear in mind, yin and yang, there is always something bad in something good.
Chuffin laying it on thick, lived in Chesterfield (tahn) all my life, love it, nightlife is good for the size of town, everything you’d ever need. Countryside and quaint pubs on your doorstep and sheffield for big clubs is round the corner. There are some rougher areas, true, but you get that in every town/city. Just think nothing hill and hackney. Chesterfield is a great town to live and in general a very friendly place. People are always going to exaggerate the bad features because they are pretentious.
I was born and bred in Chesterfield and 7 years ago I moved to be close to my family in shropshire. Chesterfield is rough but thats all part of the fun at least Chesterfield folk will tell you if you have pi**ed them off unlike Shropshire folk who have more faces than the townhall clock!!! There isnt a week goes by that I dont get home sick for Chesterfield but I dont miss the traffic etc but I do miss the nights out and the closeness of the Chesterfield folk they always stick together and watch each others backs miss you all
Very very true! I spent my entire childhood and teens in brimmington and chesterfield and it’s a pretty mental place (80′s and 90′s). I got myself educated and got out. It’s only since I started mixing with other people from other places and sharing my experiences I realised how mental it was since I thought everyone’s childhood was like that. In the 80′s and 90′s it was pretty bad with gang culture and avoiding a regular beating and kid knapping & torture in the woods was a good skill to have. There were unwritten social rules around the pubs and clubs to avoid being glassed and beaten (visitors regularly came unstuck). Having said that the experiences I’ve had their are truely unique and I wouldn’t change them for the world. Some people live a whole life and never experience what I did in 20 years. There were several shootings and murders back then, but the biggest thing I’ve taken away from the violence there is “what goes around comes around” and the ring leaders generally ended up in prison or dead from drug abuse or retribution. If you can keep your head in that environment “literally” then it definitely gives you substance to take away with you and some amazing memories. Don’t know what it’s like now.
I don’t think Chesterfield is that bad. No worse than any other place in England. I think this whole piece is exaggerated. I’ve never had any trouble when out appart from the odd remark here and there. I moved away 7 years ago and I miss it. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, trust me……
I think your perception of chavs is quite realistic, but from coming from Nottingham, Chesterfield is simply a breeze in comparison.
I think you need to wake up and smell the coffee, everyone is looking for bargains these days, and Primark and Wilko’s are not just full of chavs, but everyone, and I’m betting everyone from your little brother, to your mother, and even your grandma shops there.
You have to realise we like in poor times, don’t bite the hand that feeds you!
Im from Sheffield.
I would certain parts and aspects of Chesterfield are ok, for example there are a few nice shops and places in the centre, it is close enough too Sheffield and Notts, the property within Chesterfield is a little bit cheaper than in Sheffield and other major cities, can generally get a bigger house for a better price if you can find work out there or are willing too travel, there are also some great places too fish in Chesteffield not only does it have a canal but also various lakes and ponds dotted around and other places of interest ect.
The down side too Chesdterfield in my eyes is that there isnt enough work out there so many people have too travel too work anyway, plus in my experience the night life is full of fighting, on one occasion while out in Chesterfield we had a night out in a club and all night there were like 3 riot vans and 2 police cars parked right outside just waiting for the trouble too kick off, and sure enough by the end of the night two people had been stabbed, am not sure if that was with a knife or bottle but two people went too hospital.
Well when you go too a nightclub and see about 15 police officer if full gear parked around the corner and an ambulence on standbye then its hardly a good image, during the night one lad tried too start a fight with me just for been stud at the bar and him stumbling backwards into me, he turned around failry drunken and got funny but basically showed him I wasnt scared nor drunk and he backed off. The club itself was basically full of young beer drinking lads a lot who had skin heads and basically looked like townies or chavs and seem eager too get fuled up on beer and then fight, overall I guess Chesterfield is too small on the nightlife scene so all the idiots get mixed in with everyone else.
To some people a bit of fighting, drinking and a kebab might be great fun but in a lot of example you will get a peaceful couple minding there own business and then 2 or 3 drunken lads kick the hell out of the man just because hes got a girlfriend and end up putting people in hospital when they have acctually done bugger all wrong, I dont find that fun, by all means if you have an issue with somone then sure you go sort that issue but in most cases its fairly innocent people alone who get attacked and that sucks:
Is basically a small centre with a busy night life so some trouble is expected all the time, but would say in most cases thats only going to be a problem if you put yourself in those places and situstions.
Some areas of Chesterfield are cheap and rhough like anywhere else in this country, some other areas are posh and really nice, once dated a girl in Chestefield and her folks had a well nice house in a really safe private village well away from all the trouble. One problem with Chesterfield is that a lot of areas or country roads do get totally cut off during heavy snow, sure the main roads and bypass are ok but many of the smaller roads linking villages just get impossible too pass.
Overall the only thing that would tempt me too live there is the slightly lower property price and chance of getting a larger place or perhaps some land out in the sticks, but then when weighing that against the work situation and commute Id prob just not bother unless I had my own business or somehting too back me up.
Sheffield on the other hand is one of the UKs largest cities, its also classed as one of the UK’s safest cities, is the greenest city and is till covered in trees, has two universities, a much bigger and offten safer and more mixed night life, but sadly in some parts of Sheffield you would be lucky too buy a carboard box never mind a house, where maybe you can get a little more for your money over in Chesdterfield
Nah Chesterfield is s**t.Its full of twats who think “Ooooh Im from Brim Im so f**king hard”. Well gues what you can keep Brim you can keep stavely n you can keep Boythorpe. The whole town is full of f**king inbreds. An the whole Chesterfeild lingo, what are people seriously happy they call each other Duck. Ive lived here for about 20 years n im moving away as Im nearly 30 n wanna do something with my life n not just be part of this f**king circus.