Havant isn’t very nice.
In the town centre there is a pretty little church, an occasional French market and one or two decent pubs (The Robin Hood and The Old House at Home).
The rest of the area will be familiar to anyone who has nominated or even read about their own town:
1. The bad estate nearby.
In this case it is Leigh Park, already mentioned in a separate article and with good reason, where the streets pound to the rhythms of cars with drainpipe-sized exhausts, while their max-power reading, dead-eyed owners(?) inflict their appalling music tastes on anyone within half a kilometre.
2. The moody town centre pubs.
Havant has many of these – all full of the burberry boys. The obligatory wetherspoons, opposite Macdonalds so that post-stella hunger pangs are taken care of and interestingly one or two pubs home to that compartively rare species: the middle-aged chav.
The street between two of these was the scene of a riot on the evening that England beat Argentina in the last world cup as fat men in their forties who really should know better decided to celebrate the victory by sallying forth and ‘decking’ a few civilians.
3. All the shops are crap
Somehow the centre of Havant manages to sustain a Waitrose. Presumably because there is no other decent supermarket for the more affluent areas to the east until you get to Chichester.
Other than this there are the usual offenders: Wilkinsons, a strange shop that seems to sell a little bit of everything and is a real draw for the chav family unit: foul-mouthed fat fucks in stained trackkie bottoms bellowing abuse at the fruit of their loins.
4. There are many charity shops.
Some of which even have books in. I suspect some of these books may have been there for some time. They may be of interest to antiquarians.
5. Abusive packs of kids aged from 6-16 infest the centre of town.
Walking through the Meridian Centre (an indoor shopping ‘arcade’ that deserves its own entry on this site) one day I saw a little boy decked out in the finest adidas trying to run up the down escalator. Being no more than about 8 he got in trouble, slipped and started bawling like a baby. I picked him up by his arm and asked him if he was okay…
Well I expect you can guess the rest. Suffice to say I’ve been on a night out with a bunch of sailors and I’d still never heard language like it.
Other than this little tyke the town centre was always full of the usual gangs of cap-wearing non-entities all in big groups and all staring meerkat-like in all directions other than at each other.
I wouldn’t know. I don’t go into the town centre any more, other than very early on a Saturday morning to go to Waitrose. It’s quite nice then.
Anyway, these chavs who bit off more than they could chew…
I was out with my flygirl a couple of years ago heading into Havant. A very large man jogged past us.
A few moments later a chavmobile boomed past and a spotty, malnourished face emerged and shouted something along the lines of:
“whatchoo runnin’ for you fu’ing wanga”
The man stuck his finger up at them and instantly became a role model for me.
Predictably the vehicle screeched to a halt and an articulate youth emerged and started doing a strange arm-swinging dance in the man’s direction.
At the same time he enquired if the gent was seeking a physical beating and did he know of a good doctor.
Things happened very quickly after this. The first scumbag got close to this man and received what I can only call a world-class uppercut.
Three others had emerged from the car ready to assist their leader in yet another easy beating and froze at the site of this. The man carried on jogging in a very calm manner in their direction.
The nearest two regained the moral high ground by informing him that he was a ‘c**t’ for ‘chinnin” their friend.
The larger of the two nervously stepped in his way only to be doubled over by an honest to goodness flying kick.
The remaining two gangstas decided they would let him live this time and stepped aside, hurling a bit of predictable abuse when he was about 30 yards away.
Knowing that if we hung around we would receive the beating these lovely lads still had in them we doubled back and laughed all the way home.
Havant – Still Keeping it Real…
It’s basically a place without soul, the bits other towns didn’t want during the local authority carve up way back in 1974. The town itself has an historic heart but that stopped beating after a generation of disaster prone councils ripped it out with Soviet style development. The council is run by pygmies, mostly retired, looking for a place to sleep in the afternoons and getting paid for doing so. Each bit of the borough hates the other bits and are either real snobs or inverted snobs with little sense of common purpose. The most snobby, Emsworth, has somehow managed to cling on to its independent traders and has a couple of decent places to eat. They’ve just built a public service plaza or large porch onto the town hall so all the council pen pushers can work in one place. Now in Havant that’s really exciting. You won’t find Havant on the Olympic torch trial either as somebody in London thought it was Portsmouth and it’ss going there. The MP lives in London but turns up at weekends for photo calls. If you want to disappear altogether try Hayling Island.
lmfao @ danny
that is un true all of it dis is d best town you must ave cum in d summer time when every1 is full of beans and buzzing 4 d sun when the male hormone is at its peak you should cum bk at winter time we r full of hugs and love coz wed rather drink beer den put money on the electric you ave no i dear welcome 2 my world xxxxx
Pmsl! Brilliant!
Although I don’t agree with everything that has been written, I find it funny that some people have written a response to this article and proved the writer completely right with their language. Now this article was posted in 2004 and as I live near to Havant I know that it is completely different now to how it was then. I find the story about the chavs hilarious, I hate chavs who think they can do and say what they like. Luckily the number of chavs in Havant has decreased since then and although there are still some around, I don’t think there are as many now. I also think the quality of the shops has increased with many new shops in Havant and some being refurbished making it a busier and more attractive town.
basicly,i think your bit of a twat INIT ! leigh park is just as bad as sum over CHAVY places and just as good as where ever you live, you obviously think your right by righting these things, but how would you no cause you clearly dont like in leigh park or havant, and if you do then your a fukin hypocrit, so ge a llife cause you obvously got nothing better do with yourself then right an artical about a place where people live, but cant even leave ya name, perthetic, PRICK
Waitrose is there simply because they couldn’t get it in to Rowlands Castle
I missed seeing the fun of the England V Argentina match, but I did see the previous one. (I was dragged to the Dolphin pub by friends…..I hate football.) It was hilarious for me a non-football fan to see everyone watch England get beaten then get up and walk out of the pub in stunned silence.
And despite being married to an Argentine, no I don’t support Argentina. (Or any other country in football.)
well living in leigh park aint bad at all you posh cocks think your all good and better then everyone else your a bunch of twats, havant area is class and leigh park is proberly the best estate going and if you dont like it and slag it off so much dont write a f**king article on it, everything you have said in this article i can guarentee you wouldnt come down here and say it to the people you are slagging off, so shut he f**k up!!!
Well, living in Leigh Park isn’t bad at all; you posh cocks think you’re all good and better than everyone else – you’re a bunch of twats. The Havant area is class and Leigh Park is probably the best estate going and if you don’t like it, and slag it off so much, don’t write a f**king article on it; everything you have said in this article i can guarantee you wouldn’t come down here and say it to the people you are slagging off, so shut he f**k up!!!
Of course he wouldn’t say it there as its true and the locals of Leigh Park would prove his point for him you muppet lol
like alot
This story seems fairly accurate to the standard of idiot who ruins Havant. However there is a majority of what would come across as “Chavs” who are mearly caught up in the Fashion and rough accent. These people are down to earth, never to busy to care types who like a few beers and a good laugh.
True, my brother is one of them. Anyone know how I can legally disown myself from him ?
Like most places its a small percentage of little twats who drag a place down.
lol! Glad you don’t want to disown me
I also have found this article and the comments by chance. The thing that strikes me about some of the contributions is that whilst criticising other people for using ‘bad’ language you open yourselves up to the charge of being ignorant yourselves. English is the richest , most developed language in the world but pretty obviously some of you are not aware of that.
‘Re bad behaviour and Leigh Park – of course there are some badly behaved people who live on the Park- there are also some hard working decent people who live there. Actually when I had occasion to remonstrate with a vomiting young lad it turned out he was a soldier from the nearby Thorney Island.
Moral – don’t jump to conclusions and try not to judge your fellow humans. There but for the grace of God go you.