Like many towns where a major public school is located, Shrewsbury has its fair share of filthy chavs for its ranks of decent young chaps to abuse/fight with etc. From the great plateau on which the school is located, it is possible to view the entire town in all its chavesque splendour. The first chav point of call is just underneath the plateau on the banks of the winding river severn (a popular place for small chavlings to throw bricks, breeze blocks and broken stolen goods at swans and the occasional unfortunate rower), and it is called the Quarry. The Quarry is a large park of great beauty, the sort of place you’d like to take your girlfriend for a stroll/picnic/sex. Or at least it would be if it wasn’t populated by the sort of people that make you vomit a small amount of bile into your mouth. The quarry is home to filth from all walks of chavdom, from the 45 degree-angled cap-wearing 14-24 year old males to your standard young chavettes with tightly slicked back hair who are still touting for a quick shag despite being pregnant to an unknown father with little “terry-ann”, a future chav to take the mantle of disgrace from her mother when she dies of obesity aged 33. As a quick sidenote, anyone visiting Shrewsbury should under NO CIRCUMSTANCES enter the quarry after 7pm at night. The goths come out and do their sacrifices (both human and animal), besides which just the shock of the smell and sight of those cretinous rapscallions will probably kill you on its own.
Moving on from the quarry, the next stop on the Shrewsbury chav tour is the KFC opposite the Bellstone near the bottom of Pride Hill. In KFC you never see the young chavs, only the old ones who seem to have given up the will to live and are committing slow suicide in the form of clogging their arteries with junk food until they keel over and die, to be cleaned up by the long-suffering staff (incidentally the staff at KFC unbelievably aren’t too chavvy!). Just down the road from KFC is Xanadu, a burger and pizza takeaway. I cannot stress enough how superb Xanadu is, their legendary triple decker burger allowed me to survive 5 years of Shrewsbury School food, but only when safely brought to me by delivery, as venturing down to Xanadu itself would simply be suicide. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, visit Xanadu at night. It is outside here where the drunken chavs (young and old, mostly old) congregate to engage in that most honourable and ancient of ativistic displays of manhood; fighting. The police in Shrewsbury aren’t too quick on the draw (lot of inbreeding round there), and hence tend to arrive some time after the ambulancemen have taken away the bodies of many a scrawny chav who thought he was man enough to take on “Big Leroy” or some other such filthy individual with a major testosterone imbalance. Xanadu is situated halfway down a road full of pubs such as The Merchant Stores and The Exchange, these are major chav watering holes, and must under no circumstances be entered at any time. Yet these do not even compare to the delights of Mardol, Shrewsbury’s premier nightlife street. On Mardol it is possible to find both a Yates’ AND a Weatherspoons. Not only this but it is home to the disgraceful institution that is “The Bedroom” (believe me you would rather be on your own in your own bedroom at home). These bars lie within a 50 yard radius of each other. A police CCTV van sits on the corner every saturday. Yet chavs still end up clashing week in week out and it gets rather messy. These fine bastions of drinking are only the warm-up before entry to perhaps the ultimate chav HQ of any town. A Liquid Nightclub. When liquid moved in someone obviously had more than two braincells to rub together and placed it next to the police station. This location would perhaps be more useful if the police station was manned by more than one inbred cretin, but hey, I wouldn’t want to be around there on a Saturday night if I was a police officer either. Besides, the entire budget was probably used up on the aforementioned CCTV van.
The next great chav haunt of Shrewsbury is Pride Hill, the main shopping street of the town. Located on pride Hill are two shopping centres, the Darwin and the originally named “Pride Hill Shopping Centre”. These centres are home to the standard chav boutiques, JJB Sports, TK Maxx, H Samuel (to buy cheap wedding rings for their bits of filth and steal bling) along with numerous others. Chavs in Shrewsbury don’t actually hang around the shopping centres, but outside on the legion of cast iron benches that line the street. Here they chat about their pathetic little lives and talk about how drunk/stoned/arrested they got last night. They also favour the towns Virgin Megastore, also located on Pride Hill, another target for chavs who wish to steal the latest Streets single or other such chavmusic favorites.
Shrewsbury Chavs’ other favorite pastime is attempting to fight Shrewsbury School boys. Walking through the town you would frequently hear such witty abuse as “posh tw*ts” or the jaw-droppingly stupid chant of “rich”. I’ll leave you to work that one out on your own… At night the chavs would venture up the bank and attempt to gain access to the school site. Due to lots of burglaries recently the school is now patrolled by perhaps the most useless security firm of all time (the police said they’d be better of employing people from the local estates) who do absolutely nothing to stop them, which suits the Shrewsbury boys just fine as every door in the houses on the edge of the site has a selection of cricket bats and other chav-bashing implements next to it with which to cause extreme pain and preferably terminal injuries. Few will forget the days of Fordham and Chappers, who took great pleasure in capturing chavs, Chappers simply for the pleasure of eating them.
So there you have it, Shrewsbury in all its filthy wonder. People will often tell you that it is a beautiful town with loads of history etc etc. They are lying.
man up and accepty that some people are fortunate to have a better education, you would if you could but you cant….oh dear thats unfortunate for you. feel free to beg in the evenings at the boarding houses and people will through money for you. or just go get a job in macdos, ur if you are feeling lucky go for Starbucks.
All u chav htin scmbags do 1. Shrowsbry is ful of nrmal ppl like me. Jst cuz im a smack ed dont mean you posh c**ts cn lk dwn on me. If i had da money i wld pay fr u posh boys to be executed. gt off ur high horse nd go back to buckinghm palis lke wher u live.
Its not my fault that im more economically stable than you………. How’s living in council house, i hear the government are trying to get you kind of people off sleeping on either a bench in the quarry or maybe a back alley. Have fun going to the job centre next week, dont burn that income to quickly. Its all your going to get for this month………
if all of you could come to shrewswbury school you would so stop chatting out your arse and realise we are richer and better than you. if you really feel that jealous feel free to come up to the school and sit outside the class and im sure you will get the occasional note. or come to any of the boarding houses and you will be thrown money out of the windows, dispite inevitable abuse if you are desperate you will appreciate our kindness.
i do like reading these articles, they make me laugh and alot of the time are in good jest, but i hate ones like these that basically do paint everyone with the same brush, rich (good) poor (chavvy scum), i dont believe this at all, chavs are chavs and they are horrible people but i also know a lot of horrible rich people that dont dress in the steretypical form i.e shrewsbury school boys, i am just a normal 22 year old lad born on the grange in shrewsbury which is renowned as being a chav estate, and i agree its a shit hole, so fair to say my family isnt wealthy i was “educated” at the Grange senior school, wasn’t the best came out with average gcse’s went on to do an apprenticeship, i work an honest living and pay my taxes i still live on the grange, i hate it but i cannot afford to move. But yes i used to buy cds from virgin? am i a scumy chav? No, i have bought my mum jewellery for Christmas from h samuel, a white gold necklace that cost me 90 pound, so maybe to you more wealthy people thats laughable, but to me 90 pound is not far off half a weeks wages, it made my mum very happy and she liked it, some people do like an honest, respectfull, decent and law abiding lifestyle, even though they might fall into your category, i do wear adidas tracksuits from time to time, if i am busy all day and not going anywhere where im required to dress mart i don my trackies, and have actually had abuse hurled at me whilst on my own shopping on pride hill from groups of Shrewsbury high school boys along the lines of, f**king chav scum, f**k off back to your gutter and die etc etc their are good and bad people from all walks of life i am poor i make do with what i have, i try to be a good person, i am nice to people, i love the looks i get of an elderly man as i hold the door open for them in my adidas tracksuit, i smile at him warmly and he just grunts and gives me a dirty look? why? I have just done a good deed? But as i am in a tracksuit that doesnt matter. I know you have had bad experiences with chavs but be gratefull that you are wealthy enough not to have to live in a crappy council house surrounded by these morons, stealing your pushbike that took you 4 weeks to save for just so you can cycle to work that means another 4 weeks of saving now, how about this winter have you ever sat their shivering because your gas meters clicked off and you dont get paid for 3 days, so you just accept that your’e gonna be cold for a few days. I am hoping to go to university to get my self away from these people but it will take me 3-4 years of saving and doing night classes before i can, where as you will not have this issue im sure, so just put yourself in some one elses shoes before you judge some one because they are wearing a tracksuit or shopping in h.samuel, like i said before if h.samuels would of been knocked down and replaced with a more upmarket jewellery store i would not have been able to afford anything in their for my mums birthday. Basically i am sick of being judged i am a good person,i help people when i can, i do chaity ( i cant afford to give money so i donate time) i respect my elders, my mum taught me all the very basic morales i need to be a good person despite having no money and living in a dive, i bet i have more moral fibre than you ever will, because one day when ive been to uni and got a good job and im in your position i wont look down on people who are poorer than me i am working very hard to make sure i dont have to bring my kids up the same place and way i was, i want to provide for them well, but that luxury i have to work very hard for because i wasn’t born with it like you, its people like you that cause the friction between rich and poor. I am not a chav, but you would probably class me as one if you seen me, but if i bumped into you on pride hill, i would just say sorry, smile and walk on i would not start on you or hurl abuse, clothing or background does not make the person
First I would like to point out what to me was seemingly obvious: you are meant to take all these chav town reviews in good humour. Yes Shrewsbury is a lovely and has so many good points, but it also has bad points, and they are called chavs.
Now, to most of the people taking offence, I am assuming you in fact are chavs, mainly because of your poor use of those 10 fingers and a keyboard, your destruction of the english language and the fact that you have engaged in criminal acts, therefore you simply must take offence because someone is clearly “startin’ on you init bruv”.
Also, before anyone accuses me of another posh snob, I did not go to Shrewsbury Girls School. I went to Mary Webb in the village of Pontesbury 7 miles away from Shrewsbury, which happens to be a very chavesque school.
I fortunately did not contract the vile disease.
You make Shrewsbury sound a lot worse than it actually is. Yes there are a lot of chav’s in shrewsbury but it’s the same in many towns, and shrewsbury’s hardly bad. it’s improved a lot over the past couple of years, the chavs mostly don’t get out now… too busy looking after their children
x
As per usual, someone who has needs mummy and daddys money to go to school, because they cant quite handle the life that the majority of the population leads, is looking down their nose at everyone else.
So maybe we should all be the same eh? how about we all ponce around in Jack Wills hoodies and boat shoes? would that please you? well if it would then all I can say is that you’re a small minded little snob, and instead of looking down your nose at the town you live in, why don’t you just sod back off to your lovely little town so mummy and daddy can protect you.
sort it out!
Aint nothing wrong with Shrewsbury, I proud to come from Shrewsbury.
People of Shrewsbury are respectable they are passionate. We’re just a respectable town .
Much better than Telford (thats where the slags/nymhos and druggie chavs are).
Bloody hell, you posh bastard. I live in Shrewsbury, and yeah there are chavs but so what? You’re just a posh twat who was born with a silver spoon shoved up your ass. Don’t you dare say that all people who hang around in Shrewsbury are chavs you tosser. And you want to know what else? I stole a bike from your precious posh school. It was a nice bike as well.
oh my,, well thats one persona opinion and tbh its quite awful and very offensive.
its upto the people there what they do with their lives so i think you should keep your nose out tbh (:
ha chavs have good fashion pfffttt u losers look like the biggest freaks ever…. What language do u guys speak its wierd???
What a tosspot. Shrewsbury School through and through. Look up Simon Dee in Wiki and you will see ex scholars start at the top and slide into oblivion.
I 100% agree with Shrewsbury (just like to point out; that i <3 shrewsbury boys)
i hate the chav…
Posh totties are truely the best and i love polo, hunting, racing, rugby etc.
Chavs need to be humanely disposed of…< maybe not humanely actually!
love to poshies xx
Nobody hates you. It is just that you are as thick as a whale omlette. Nuff said.
Right, right, right, I would say. Speak in English you numpty.
OOOOOOOOOOHH………handbags. Lower class c**t
der aint nothing wrong wid shrewsbury or any normall skls in it u need 2 grow up if u av gt a problem den go nd say it 2 there faces nt on here ur da people acting like kids M.T.I.D
der aint nothing wrong wid shrewsbury or any normall skls in it u need 2 grow up if u av gt a problem den go nd say it 2 there faces nt on here ur da people acting like kids M.T.I.D