Like many towns where a major public school is located, Shrewsbury has its fair share of filthy chavs for its ranks of decent young chaps to abuse/fight with etc. From the great plateau on which the school is located, it is possible to view the entire town in all its chavesque splendour. The first chav point of call is just underneath the plateau on the banks of the winding river severn (a popular place for small chavlings to throw bricks, breeze blocks and broken stolen goods at swans and the occasional unfortunate rower), and it is called the Quarry. The Quarry is a large park of great beauty, the sort of place you’d like to take your girlfriend for a stroll/picnic/sex. Or at least it would be if it wasn’t populated by the sort of people that make you vomit a small amount of bile into your mouth. The quarry is home to filth from all walks of chavdom, from the 45 degree-angled cap-wearing 14-24 year old males to your standard young chavettes with tightly slicked back hair who are still touting for a quick shag despite being pregnant to an unknown father with little “terry-ann”, a future chav to take the mantle of disgrace from her mother when she dies of obesity aged 33. As a quick sidenote, anyone visiting Shrewsbury should under NO CIRCUMSTANCES enter the quarry after 7pm at night. The goths come out and do their sacrifices (both human and animal), besides which just the shock of the smell and sight of those cretinous rapscallions will probably kill you on its own.
Moving on from the quarry, the next stop on the Shrewsbury chav tour is the KFC opposite the Bellstone near the bottom of Pride Hill. In KFC you never see the young chavs, only the old ones who seem to have given up the will to live and are committing slow suicide in the form of clogging their arteries with junk food until they keel over and die, to be cleaned up by the long-suffering staff (incidentally the staff at KFC unbelievably aren’t too chavvy!). Just down the road from KFC is Xanadu, a burger and pizza takeaway. I cannot stress enough how superb Xanadu is, their legendary triple decker burger allowed me to survive 5 years of Shrewsbury School food, but only when safely brought to me by delivery, as venturing down to Xanadu itself would simply be suicide. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, visit Xanadu at night. It is outside here where the drunken chavs (young and old, mostly old) congregate to engage in that most honourable and ancient of ativistic displays of manhood; fighting. The police in Shrewsbury aren’t too quick on the draw (lot of inbreeding round there), and hence tend to arrive some time after the ambulancemen have taken away the bodies of many a scrawny chav who thought he was man enough to take on “Big Leroy” or some other such filthy individual with a major testosterone imbalance. Xanadu is situated halfway down a road full of pubs such as The Merchant Stores and The Exchange, these are major chav watering holes, and must under no circumstances be entered at any time. Yet these do not even compare to the delights of Mardol, Shrewsbury’s premier nightlife street. On Mardol it is possible to find both a Yates’ AND a Weatherspoons. Not only this but it is home to the disgraceful institution that is “The Bedroom” (believe me you would rather be on your own in your own bedroom at home). These bars lie within a 50 yard radius of each other. A police CCTV van sits on the corner every saturday. Yet chavs still end up clashing week in week out and it gets rather messy. These fine bastions of drinking are only the warm-up before entry to perhaps the ultimate chav HQ of any town. A Liquid Nightclub. When liquid moved in someone obviously had more than two braincells to rub together and placed it next to the police station. This location would perhaps be more useful if the police station was manned by more than one inbred cretin, but hey, I wouldn’t want to be around there on a Saturday night if I was a police officer either. Besides, the entire budget was probably used up on the aforementioned CCTV van.
The next great chav haunt of Shrewsbury is Pride Hill, the main shopping street of the town. Located on pride Hill are two shopping centres, the Darwin and the originally named “Pride Hill Shopping Centre”. These centres are home to the standard chav boutiques, JJB Sports, TK Maxx, H Samuel (to buy cheap wedding rings for their bits of filth and steal bling) along with numerous others. Chavs in Shrewsbury don’t actually hang around the shopping centres, but outside on the legion of cast iron benches that line the street. Here they chat about their pathetic little lives and talk about how drunk/stoned/arrested they got last night. They also favour the towns Virgin Megastore, also located on Pride Hill, another target for chavs who wish to steal the latest Streets single or other such chavmusic favorites.
Shrewsbury Chavs’ other favorite pastime is attempting to fight Shrewsbury School boys. Walking through the town you would frequently hear such witty abuse as “posh tw*ts” or the jaw-droppingly stupid chant of “rich”. I’ll leave you to work that one out on your own… At night the chavs would venture up the bank and attempt to gain access to the school site. Due to lots of burglaries recently the school is now patrolled by perhaps the most useless security firm of all time (the police said they’d be better of employing people from the local estates) who do absolutely nothing to stop them, which suits the Shrewsbury boys just fine as every door in the houses on the edge of the site has a selection of cricket bats and other chav-bashing implements next to it with which to cause extreme pain and preferably terminal injuries. Few will forget the days of Fordham and Chappers, who took great pleasure in capturing chavs, Chappers simply for the pleasure of eating them.
So there you have it, Shrewsbury in all its filthy wonder. People will often tell you that it is a beautiful town with loads of history etc etc. They are lying.
2 right
can i have a threesome with you and a mate?
what a tit….so because this lads mum has slaved like a demon to provide a decent education, and he is outwardly gratefull for it you slate him….i was not able to go to a "good school" and have had to educate myself…does this make me stuck up? i spent 10 years in the army then four years digging holes in roads before i got a break, if he can make it earlier good on him……as for your name, says it all, doesnt it…..tosser
Actually, I must seem quite special because I posted that damn thing three times. Hoorah for dial-up internet.
There is nothing wrong with Shrewsbury that could not be put right by a tactical nuclear weapon. About 10 megatons should do the trick.
shrewsbury is not like dis it is jus sum people bein stupid cos i go to shrewsbury igh school and ma elder bros used to go to shressbury shool and this is noot wat shrewsbury is like at all and i know several boyz from shrewsbury schoiool and there are a few common peeps around and they do shout at us more fortunate but they r not chavs dey r just jealous so i do not think this is very gd ! and also the one about harry tuffins is very gd atall and it ia not true cos i live der and ma m8z own it and da pound isle is not chav-to -chav presies it is decent stuff and alot ov peeps like it weder u asad peeps who made a weebie bout chav towns r jus sad gays who sit der tlkin bout chav anway reli g2g bi h8 fis weebie bi
I am Borat.
Shrewbury is better than my town espesialy i am a chav wowawesa!
mate, first up u couldnt possibly comment about wheather the fair in shrewsbury is like the streets of harlem or the bronx. Seems like youve never been to either before, the fair is f**king dangerous, i wouldnt dare to go near the fair after dark. purely for the reason that if i did something would almost certainly happen. I know that shrewsbury aint as dangerous as the bronx but you sure feel less threatened in the bronx, i know i wouldnt be just shouted down in the street in the bronx or started on or whatever unless v unlucky. And anyway after what i heard the other day, school boys could not comment on anything done by chavs, a group of u trod a girls face in the other month for sticking up for her mate, i guess thats the same thing someone else mentionned.
and yes serious big up for the boathouse comment, that place used to be great, now full of f**king cunts!!! and jesus all these new little twats with their moppy hair taking over the bull in the barne, i mean for fucks sake, u dont even belong there, u look f**king ridiculous in a real pub with a f**king pink collardown shirt drinking a mixed drink……mixed drink……in the f**king bull in the barne!!!!!! cunts
(in case ur wondering i lived there for a year)
are you taking the piss mate?
If you are, its a good laugh. But if your being serious then your the perfect example of the stereotypical Shrewbury School Scum. They have their heads so far up their own arses its untrue and they think money is the be all and end all of live. These boys are just as bad as Chavs, there are some exceptions of course. At least the majority of Chavs have actually lived a bit, instead of having this perfect lifestyle where money is not a problem and life evolves around fox hunting and the next Doomed campaign for the Conservatives.
peace out
na dikhed did i eva compare our town 2 d bronx or wereva?it aint bludy america.alls i sd wz if u dnt no ppl it aint safe 2 go 2 fair nw is it.
also y aint any of use stickin up 4 ur town or at least avin views bout it????ye dey mite nt b same as mine bt av sum respect 4 d place ur bein brought up in n livin.
haha anyway u ere bout shrews skool getin trashd agen dis weekend!oooo wel lol
maby u shud luk at ma fookin name, SHREWS 4eva, not WEM 4eva, dikhed.i aint neva even bin 2 wem aparently its full of jumpd up wankas actin da bigun.bt hu nos i mite b rong.
My reply about “cocaine sex” was in jest, adopting the persona of a rich, arrogant Otis Ferry-type brat.
Alright?
r u from wem or shrewsbury?
da fairs ere yes laddddddddd get in jst 2 warn all ya posh peeps duna go ver at nite m8 coz at nite da fair is our fukin territory!!!
My dear girl, you may not be stupid. But by heaven, you do not understand sentence structure! Your entire post consisted of two gargantuan sentences containing 174 and 126 words respectively. Anybody who does indeed have anything “up top” would be able to form sentences correctly.
Do you speak as you write – on and on without a pause? If so, I should very much have liked to see how you “presented yourself” in your interview!
Yours sincerely,
rocks_and_stones
PS. You have included a contradiction in terms -”a lot of private school pupils may not be the brightest sparks, but they are not at all stupid”. I was of the belief that if one was not the brightest spark, one was stupid?
Excuse me, i shall have you know that i am in the top set for every single possible streamed subject at shrewsbury high school, i would definitely say i have a great deal going on in my brain, and how dare you call me stupid, how can you call somebody with an IQ of 153 stupid, clearly you think you are some kind of superman and above all the rest, but you quite simply are not, sure some of the things i said were exaggerated in earlier posts, but for goodness sake its hardly the place to be if you want to talk fair, why are you on this website, you claim to be some kind of mediator and in the “middle ground”, but you quite simply are not. Sure a lot of private school pupils may not be the brightest sparks, but they are not at all stupid, you do realise that you have to actually pass an exam and portray yourself in an interview to get into most private schools now, so i do not believe you can call anyone who goes to a private school stupid, you do realise that having an opinion does not make anyone stupid and you quite simply are not very “bright up top” as you say, and i believe that chavs and people with money are both entitled to an opinion within reason, and maybe what you said was just an opinion as i know and many people who know me know it definitely is not true, but i believe you went a bit far with your comments, maybe if you calm down and drew the line before you started calling people stupid, people would respect your opinions consider taking a leaf out of your own book for once before trying to give others advice.
you spelt reditis wrong by the way………
i meant for my post to be received by the w**ker at the top of the list but that didnt bloody work so……..
please i beg of you for your own sake write in english, (not txt spk) coz ppl will just think you are incabable of speaking properly and will not listen to you and when they read your posts they will not actually be taking in what you are saying they will just be sitting at home looking smug because they think they are of a higher intellect than you. just write words as they are in the dictionary, (see merriam-webster online) and you will find that people will actually have better replies to your messages…..unless of course you are talking crap but hey what would you expect if you were talking crap anyway!!