Bransholme, or BransHole as I prefer to call it, is one of the largest council estates in Europe and is situated in the arsehole of England, Hull, or ‘ULL if you emanate from that region. In 1642 Hull became famous as Sir John Hotham closed it’s gates on King Charles and told the king to “fhuk off you ain’t enough Bizzell”.
The gates remained shut on this isolated Town and centauries of inbreeding have given us this remarkable city. To the north of Hull, Bransholme is known as home to thousands of third and fourth generation Chavs.
The schools in this Estate are more like transition camps as kids progress towards their future lives in Hull infamous Prison. Parents are keen to see their kids do well and often involve them in their family businesses from an early age. In fact you would hard pressed to find a kid that can not out run Oscar, the Police Helicopter, or hotwire a car in under ten seconds.
The Estate has a weird culture for naming their children, it seems you take the names Billy, Booby, Joe or Ellie and pick two for a Christian name and pop them down to the local vicar is anything silk by Von Dutch or Fila.
The middle of the estate is a shopping complex know as the “Senner”. Parents congregate is various Burberry attire and double buggies filled with Bobby-Joes to swap stories of their recent muggings, twockings and to nick as much as they can before being chased out by security.
When you enter the centre you are fairly impressed with it’s lighting and cleanliness, there are even two banks in it, staffed with burley bouncer type cashiers, but as you walk through you slowly realise you are in another world, the land the gene pool forgot. Pensioners on electric scooters race up and down the main thoroughfare reliving the twocking accident that “robbed them of their pins”. The other customers include many gannies, though women tend to be gannies at the age of 30 on Branshole and their numerous siblings that meet up for ritualistic interfamily slagging contests and general gang warfare. If you are on your own these mutants will glare at you looking for any sign of weakness before they collectively remove you all your worldly goods.
However, despite the low life people are still tempted in for the bargains. On a Saturday afternoon you can get a bag of nearly rotting veg for just a pound and meat that would make your dog vomit for even less. This can be thrown together and fed to “the bairns” thus leaving the parents with enough money for the weekly supply of baccy, Becks and 20/20.
Branshole is a national contender for Chav Central and a small thermonuclear devise could put a significant dent in the national crime figures and income support payments.
We have one of the best universities in the country! I was grout up on one of Hull’s council estates and I attend the University of Hull. Why don’t you visit some of the little s**thole towns near Manchester or Edinburgh? And please, if you wish to deal in idle semantics I then implore you to engage your brains before you speak. This can offend a lot of people and what you have written merely implies that you are simple, un cultured and have an incredibly low IQ. ( sorry I should probably put it it simple terms for you… Suck it you thick bastard, you have no life experience).
I lived in Bransholme. Firstly, in the notorious Maisonettes that was demolished and then Sedgebrook Grove. My family moved to Kent when I was 10. I graduated with a BSc Hons (grade 1st) and obtained a Masters a few years later and currently have a full-time job.
This review is poorly researched, in fact I’m not convinced that any research has gone into this at all. This is nothing more than a vicious attack on a society that has undergone enough knocks already.
Not true! well maybe some of it is, however not more so than any other place in England. I was brought up on Bransholme, Believe it or not I have never been in trouble with the police or robbed an old granny. I now live in Melbourne Australia and have a good life with my husband who by the way is the father of both my children, and are very happy, I would not describe myself as a “CHAV”, or any one that i grew up with on Bransholme. Bransholme does have its undesirables but please name a place that doesn’t.
too right this reveiw is total bull i lived in bransholme and i came out quite fine, it’s a shame the narrow minded tech monkeys who type this review obviosly has no facts to back it up so anyone who hates this reveiw is awesome
Oh please, is this the best you can actually come up with?
Bransholme as a whole isn’t that bad, yeah you can get some people who may not be pleasant characters to be around. Hasn’t everywhere got this problem?
‘Cenner’? Oh god…So you’ve been here have you? I’d prefer it if you called it ‘North Point Shopping Center’ you know the name it actually has. Or are you too thick to actually recognize this? Hmm… It makes me laugh how you think everyone who lives here is all the same. We don’t all talk like complete idiots, we don’t call center ‘Cenner/Cenna’ we can talk properly love. Oh and ‘Ull? It’s an accent thing m’darling.
I’ve lived here for 16 years, never being in trouble in my entire life, about to get my GCSE results and to be quite honest I’ve not done bad with my life up to now. Considering I live on the ‘worst estate ever’ as people like to call it, I’m sure you have the perfect life, live in the biggest house on your street. Have room for a pony do we?
When your sad fantasies finally do come true and you live the life of luxury come back and tell me my life is in jeopardy of becoming another statistic in the dole queue take a look at your oh so perfect life. Oh and live here for a while, get some real facts(:
I’ll have you know my friend, that this is not very accurate, I have lived on Bransholme estate all my life, 14 years in total now, I go to a school on Bransholme also, I go to Kingswood College of Arts and I have to say, Bransholme is not all bad, yes, you might get some people living off benefits and people doing drugs, but so does every other part of England. Have you ever even been to Bransholme, if not, I suggest you come over one time, you will be pleasently supprised. Not everyone who lives on this estate are total ideots, I’m in year nine and doing grade B maths work, I’m most certainly not an ideot, and my friends aren’t either. I have never been in any trouble with the police and none of my friends have either. Yes, okay, there may be some complete arseholes down here, but the vast majority of people on Bransholme are very polite, well educated and also very sosiable. Not everyone is what you call a ‘chav’ I, most certainly am not a chav, nor are any of my friends,
The people of Bransholme should neither have to live with or work with such an arrogant and judgmental person. Take your self induced delusions grandeur and leave.
Any brainless dimwitted moron can making a sweeping statement about a place based on…NOTHING. However, it merely takes a brain cell or two to realize that there’s nothing forcing you to live in your own personal hell and there’s plenty of other places that would be better equipped to home a person of your higher social ranking.
I dont smoke or drink. Im not on any form of benefits & have no children. Ive never been in any form of trouble with the police and have never been anything close to a chav. I have 12 GCSE’S, 3 A-Levels and a University Degree.
Ive lived on Bransholme my WHOLE life.
It makes you wonder if this was actually written by a so called Chav, what with some of the sentences not even making sense. I for one, come from this estate and although you do get some shady characters, the majority of residents are what you might consider, normal. True, a lot of the culture is to drink late on street corners, steal and take drugs but most of this comes down to the parenting. I’ve found that if the parents actually take an interest in their sons/daughters’ learning then they would be more inclined to do well. There are worse places in Hull than this estate and there are good and bad people everywhere.
I live on East Hull,and I’ve been to “senner” loads of times.Although the blokes jokingly blown it a bit out of proportion,It’s a spot on,and funny as f**k.
i lived on bransholm for a year, not long but i lved on there long enough to discover it is mearly not as bad as believed to be, i suggest u actually vist the place you are writting about, before you write such arogent, poorly researched reports
I used to live on Bransholme and now live round the corner and there is nothing wrong with it, who do you think you are to call Hull you f***ing geek its a great place. you clearly know nothing about this place or about Hull or you wouldn’t be saying what you’ve said and wouldn’t be trying to put people down by being patronising so next time, find out at least a little bit about it before you start calling it you little pr*ck. And until you do find something out go back to your little posh boy/girl life and stop being a little spoilt snob.