A multitude of Chavs from across the social spectrum. A study of the Chav capital of the south east.
Guildford, Surrey. Nestling in the heart of the commuter belt of middle class england, approx. 30 miles south-west of London. This quiet, historic market town provides sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of daily life in the Capital. Unfortunately it also provides refuge for the nastiest of Chavs and that most rare species: the ‘Rich Chav’
I was unfortunate enough to spend 2 years at college in this cess-pool of interbreeding, during which I could only dream of one thing: the A3 to London. If you look just below the surface, Guildford is quite a strange town in that there is a huge social divide between the ultra rich people living to the south and east of the town, and the ultra scum that inhabit the Park Barn and Bellfields estates to the north. They may be worlds apart socially but they certainly like to act the same.
The town basically acted like a a retirement village for the squaddies of Aldershot and beyond. These socially retarded violence junkies would often take a trip down to Guildford whilst on leave to drink, fight the locals and try and shag the women. Upon their discharge, they would think, “Where can I live which is isolated enough to keep the gene pool small, yet has enough pubs to ensure a good cross-section of the public get the kicking they deserve?”, and they would settle on Guildford. At this point they were split into two clear groups: the officers who could read and write and the privates who could drink and fight. Despite one group settling into a comfortable retirement in the large, sprawling houses that populate the outlying areas and another being crammed into the horrific sink estates to the north, they would always enjoy meeting up again on a weekend in town to knock each others teeth out.
Weekdays in Guildford can be fairly quiet, lulling you into a false sense of security. The odd comment hurled from a passing ‘hot hatch’, maybe the laughable sight of a mal-nurished 18 year old pikey and his fair maiden (13) skipping school. However, once the weekend rolls around its off to town for a gallon of Stella and a nice big fight at chuck out time on Bridge Street.
Ah Bridge Street. Situated in the heart of the town and crossing the river Wey, Bridge Street offers a multitude of entertainment establishments for the discerning Chav, including Weatherspoons, Yates, Edwards and Bar Med. It’s here that the scum of society like to mingle, have a few drinks, try their hardest to pull a she – Chav and if that fails, beat the crap out of each other. After which they all descend on one of the town’s fine after-hours drinking establishments, such as the big purple abortion Bojanglez, or the Drink, where celebrity racist Cheryl Tweedy confirmed her status as Queen Chav by battering a toilet attendant for the hell of it. Allegedly.
No synopsis of “Giwlfud” would be complete without mentioning the infamous Guildford Drag. On the first Sunday of every month, Chavs from all over the south-east of England gather in their delightfully customised cars to roar around a circuit of the town centre and end up in the car park at Burger King to try and burn off each others tyres.
The Guildfordian Chav is broadly identifiable by the mass of fake gold from Argos. More than any other regional variation, these Chavs like to confirm their status as the most affluent in the country by doubling their body weight in “sovvies”. Age is also unimportant. Even the casual Chav spotter can clearly identify between the 7 year old I spotted wandering through the station swigging a can of “Beater”, smoking a fag, and the 40 something scumbag who attacked me at 1.30 on a Monday afternoon on the high street for looking in his direction. Possibly a father and son team?
In conclusion, Guildford: the world would be greatly improved by it’s complete and utter non-existance.
I have lived in Guildford for over 10 years now and there have been massive improvements in the area over the past few years. ‘Chavs’ are no longer put in one small area of the town, therefore stopping there being an undesirable part of town and police have actually started pulling their fingers out and doing their jobs. Guildford used to be rife with heroin and crack addicts as well as a severe problem with the homeless alcoholics but this has reduced drastically over the last 3 years.
The reason Guildford gets such a bad press is due to it being one of the few towns in Surrey which have hostels and other services for the homeless. Other Surrey boroughs do not want to lower the tone of their area and instead move everyone ‘undesirable’ out of area and into Guildford. Services have had to adapt for the huge influx of people, especially in the current financial climate,and this has really helped combat the issues.
There is a very noticable gap between the rich and the poor in Guildford but that is due to how extortionate house prices are. Unless you were raised in the neighbouring expensive villages and went to one of the numerous private schools, it is very unlikely that the adverage person could afford to buy in Guildford, anything other then an ex council house or a ridiculously tiny flat for an obscene amount of money.
Every town has it’s minority of dick heads, whether this be gangs, chavs, travellers, drug addicts, etc and Guildford is not an exception. Guildford does not have a large traveller community at all instead it has a bit of a pikey culture. Wannabes claiming to be of traveller descent as they feel this makes them seem ‘hard’ and using this as an excuse to act like the scumbags originally described in this post. However if you make a stand when your paths cross you will not get any trouble from them what so ever.
Thats pretty much as bad as it gets, some gobby twat once in a while pushing their luck. No different to most areas which house teenagers and young lads. Guildford is actually very chilled and a nice area to bring a family up in and is actually a lot nicer then many other towns of the same size in the south east.
Omg what twats would write that, the swearing and cussing from those talking about my homeland sounds like it comes from the worse kind of Chav I have ever heard, wouldn’t ur upper class mummy’s wash ur mouths out with soap, u talk about misspellings as ur only defence, never heard anything like it in my life, in fact. Get a life is all I can say,
tut tut xx
I lived in Guildford for most of my life but five years ago, moved to a village near Ashford, Kent. Trust me, Park Barn and the Bellfields Estates are ‘Mayfair’ compared to the s**t holes down here. s**ttingbourne, Shatham, Trashford and all the Medway towns are way, way worse! I have seen more scum, chavs, inbreds, curly toes and pikeys in one week than 40 years in Guildford. And to top it off, if Kent is the Market Garden of England then the Isle of Sheppy is the compost heap, a disgusting Gypo infested area that should be laid to waste.
It is quite funny how the only ones defending Park Barn and claiming not to be chavs are the ones who can’t spell. What the hell is ‘unrealistick’? Also, please never put Aldershot and Farnborough in the same category as Camberley. The Old Dean is a dump but the rest of Camberley is very middle class.
I’ve been commuting to work in Guildford for almost the last two years now. I live in Sutton which is pretty much chavcentral, but whereas Sutton these days is pretty multicultural and diverse, I’ve noticed that there seems to be a massive proportion of absolutely revolting white trash scumbags in Guildford. They seem to be mainly on the estate near the Odeon. Every morning I come out of the train station, cross the road after the car park, walk across the bridge over the river and then past Odeon and Old Orleans and onto the main road. Well lately in between the bridge and the main road, where the estate is, I keep getting accosted by disgusting obnoxious mouthy chav c**ts. First they come up to me asking me to help them out. When I say no sorry I have to get to work, they take that as a cue to find creative ways to insult my mother.
Seriously if there is anyone from Guildford reading this, what the f**k is wrong with you people? All I want to do is get to work. Why do you arseholes have to loiter around, hassling members of the public? Why can’t you just get a job you lazy cretins, why can’t you behave decently like normal people? I mean, what do you contribute, do you have any purpose at all to your pathetic chavvy little lives? Seriously just do the world a favour and go and kill yourselves, you’re f**ked and you’re f**king up this country. Over the last 15 years I’ve seen this country get progressively scummier by the day. People being brought up by scum and then having their own scummy children and not instilling proper morals into them. And I’m tired of these c**ts who think the wor should just give them a handout because they’re too f**king lazy and braindead to make an effort. f**k these backward neanderful retards. Why can’t you chavs just f**king die!!
This blog has just made me laugh. You can’t go around categorising areas because of bad experiences. I’ve lived in Guildford all my life in a place called Onslow Village. Yes, Bellfeilds and Park Barn might be “cheap” and not the “poshest” of areas but it’s wrong to split the lovely town of Guildford into rich and poor. I have friends who live in Park Barn and they are very nice, well paid, upper-class people who I love being with. As they say in “The north of Guildford” as you so put it. f**k you.
Park Barn is a piss hole always has been, fortunately (for me) I havent lived on the “reservation” for 20 + years…….But as someone already mentioned its nothing like inner London where the real s**t happens. I’d like to see some of these mouthy flea bags survive in S London. They wouldn’t last 2 minutes before they got plunged.
I just moved to park barn after 3 years of living in south east London, one of them spent policing it on a voluntary basis and I have to say, park barn is not that bad! I mean yes, there are plenty of idiots around who will shout stuff out of cars, a pet hate of mine but you get that everywhere, I have not seen anyone getting stabbed or shot, I have not seen burned out cars littering the road side or gangs of kids terrorizing the local people. Thats the sign of a really nasty place.
I was in what was meant to be one of the roughest pubs in park barn 2 days ago and it had several locals in there, far from being violent or threatening they were rather curious and friendly because they had not seen be before. I can see some people might be threatened by them, mainly because its not normal in the south to start talking to someone you dont know, but they didnt mean any harm.
If I was given the choice between living in an estate filled with these people or living in the area filled with rich looking women driving vast cars that really look more like tractors with wheels, while attempting to talk on their mobile phone with one hand and put their make up on with the other while screaming like a wounded cat at anyone who drives within 100 meters of them. And little rich men whose main pleasure seems to be complaining loudly about everything that they encounter, you will excuse me if I am in no hurry to move out of park barn anytime soon!
I live in Park Barn and this is a very fair & accurate picture of what it’s like there.
For those of you naive and pompous enough to create and comment on this thread about "chav Guildford" i truely feel sorry for you! You have obviously led a very sheltered life, wrapped under the security of your arrogant parents that have led you to believe that if you not born with a silverspoon in your mouth then you are a "chav" or a lesser person.
well its about time you were welcomed to the real world. you are commenting on a minority of people in the town, and the area of park barn who stand out to you because they are having a laugh on the corner of the street and because they (like myslef) tend to swear a lot. well "f**k Ya"
i was born in park barn 19 years ago, am curretly studying at surrey university, where i continue to live in park barn. All my life i ahve lived here in this area, and i ahve never had a real problem with anyone here, except those of you that come hear and turn your nose up at us because (for some reason) you think you are superior to us in some way.
This section is aimed directly to the creator of this thread! if you are so much better than the rest of us "Chavs" what are you studying at Guildford College for? its hardly the best academically accomplished college in the area and the GCSE grade average required for entry isnt what you would call a challlenge to acquire. In addition if you got attacked then im sorry about that, but that could have happened anywhere in the world, when was the last time you heard about a little girl being kidnapped, raped and killed in park barn? but dont judge a whole town on your one s**tty experience because it just makes you look like a complete cock whos quite obviously been wrapped up in your own little world for far too long and maybe you needed a good kicking to bring you out of you unrealistick view of your perfect little world.
and the fact that your saying this about guildford and "dreaming of the A3 to london" is a joke, it really is! whats so special about london, its a s**t whole no matter what road you walk down. stabbings and gun crime happening every day. Q: Are You Actually A Cock. A: YES!!!!
University????? You can’t even spell correctly!
i hardly ever see chavs when i go to guildford. all i see is the grunger-types, there was me thinking that guildford was where they go to get away from places like aldershot, farnborough and camberley but seems as if im wrong
I may have forgotten to say that the first year I lived there, it was because our initial group of mates split and went their separate ways and I ended up there as a last (cheap) resort
The second time, I have 1 day to search for a house as I was away on a placement. Again, this was all I could find.