They tried so hard with Middleton. Back in the day, they built one of the first ‘Arndale’ centres – people flocked for miles around to sample this new, modern, concrete environment. They put flowers and benches in the precinct, built a community centre, investments were made and the future was bright.
But there was one problem, the council houses were just too close by – a haven and a mecca for the poverty stricken underclass who have made it their own: Langley estate.
A no-go area for all but the Chaviest pikeys, and witness to more stabbings, shootings and ford Fiesta soupings then anywhere alse in the North West, bar Salford. The place is complete with it’s own drop in centre – busy daily handing Methadone/morning after pill cocktails for all pre-pubescent chavettes. The streets here are littered with needles, burn outs and dead staffy dogs.
When the Charvster hangover subsides, a trip to the town centre is on the cards; to join the chav gangs hanging around in smoking competitions, vying for the kudos that comes with finding the most extreme technique in sucking the living daylights out of the smuggled ‘tabs.’ A combination of cultural evolution and extreme poverty has resulted in a highly complicated ‘fag share’ scheme – but when this fails, an intimidating approach to an office worker on his lunch is made: “eeyar mate got a fag or what mate eeyar?” The accent of these people canot be explained – a faux Manchester drawl quite different to the normal people living only half a mile up the road but a standard met by all chavsters as consistently as the tracky pants and the Rockport boots.
The Arndale itself has a strangely intimidating fairground atmosphere, the flavour of the shops is pound shop/fetid meat with the majority of units empty. The only thriving business here is ‘Stolen from Ivor’ – a clothes shop specialising in the Chav brand uniform. In this, their natural habitat, keep your head down and move quickly, your non-Burberry outfit will mark you out as prey for the peasants bent on nicking your mobile; eye contact is a no-no, become the grey man and think stealth.
Mid afternoon the Chavs will head over to Wetherspoons to join their fathers (who have been there since 11am) in drinking themselves to a frenzied stupor. After some gratuitous community violence, it’s back to the midden for a violent clash with the family, rip off your police supplied Chav tag and then back to prison next day for breaking your ASBO.
Middleton & Langley is a cesspit, full of thick orcs. It is definitely chav capital of Greater Manchester, barring maybe Harpurhey.
Fact:- Langley has one of the **LOWEST** crime rates in Manchester. Forget the reputation, try actually visiting/living there. Many poor, but salt of the earth types.
HAHA I actually can not stop laughing at how clueless, thick and utterly arrogant the writer of this article is. looks like someones a bit of a drama queen…
I can imagine the person who has written this as being a stuck up, arrogant “1st class” member of the public who over-uses the stereotype ‘Chav’. Branding someone a chav would be due to their behaviour, not nessesarily how they dress. ‘Chavy’ clothing brands? excuse me but you may have found ‘chavy’ clothing brands are cheaper than those which are ridiculous prices. Not everyone in the area if middleton can afford the ridiculous prices. and shoot them for having a style? Fair enough it is not perfect in anyway but i’d love to know where you live because I bet it isn’t any different from middleton. I happen to know some absolutely lovely people who live in middleton. MY Grandparents are well brought up, and so is the rest of my family who are doing extremely well for themselves and guess where they were brought up? Middleton and Langley.
it makes me smirk at your offencive tripe about the mancunian ‘twang’ or ‘accent’ whatever you’d like to call it. Try giving your nonsense to Noel and Liam gallagher about their common twang as i’m sure they’ll have 2 words to say to you.
an absolutely disgusting article.
Personally Im utterly sick and tired of these know nowt kids and import/idiots rubbishing Middleton. As for the fools who believe that statisticly it’s worse than any where else with regards to unenployment.Local gov figures suggest its average for the urban population.These misinformed tossers are just falling foul of a seventies urban myth that followed in the wake of the acclaimed drama ‘Scroungers’(written by then local playright Jim Allen).I was born and bred in Blackley not Middleton.But I moved here back in the late sixties early seventies with my late Mum and Dad. I can honestly say i think Middleton is a great town to live in. Lots and lots of nice no nonsence poeple and full of History and Character. Poeple who slag it off all the time are always focusing on small problem ares and issues that are now commonplace and prevelant in most towns and villages accross the UK.
Also,as someone said earlier,House prices are begining to rise in the Town now as more poeple realise it isnt at all how some idiots portay it to be.
Elllie Peers-proving points since August 2010! Middleton is actually a dump, dodgy benefit fraud agencies would have a field day there. never seen a busier town centre at midday in the week outside all the pubs. Nice to know what your tax is paying for!
are you having a laugh Langley isn’t that bad, its not brilliant but wow what an overreaction
Ok, lets calm down. I have lived in Middleton my whole life and I agree that 15-20 years ago some areas of Midd were pretty terrible. But a lot has changed since then. There is no where near the kind of violence or drug absue there once was. Langley still remains the rough area although even there things are quite nice. You are much safer living in Midd than many of the surrounding areas such as Oldham, Rochdale, Heywood, Moston. Dont let the past fool you, with direct transport links to Manchester only taking 15 minutes Middleton is seeing an above average rise in property value as wealthier couples can get more for their money against living in Cheadle and Didsbury. Those who live in Mid who dont like it are afraid of the past and keep themselves locked behind their doors. Get out and walk around a bit. I love Middleton
Ellie Peers – your a classic example of a Chav/Chavette unless you’ve done some growing up since making your comment last year, I very much doubt it!
How can anyone defend Langley? It’s a complete s**thole! Although I must admit there are some lovely people who live on Langley however there are a lot of Chavs/Chavettes with nothing better to do than bounce around the streets like ‘Wannabes’. Let’s face it, it’s not just Langley it’s the whole of Middleton including Alkrington!
Alkrington used to be ‘THE’ place to live. I wouldn’t live up there if somebody paid me!
I don’t like Middleton, Manchester or England! This Country is going right down the Swanny!!!
hate who are you whats ur real name?? dont really think u know me and i was 13 when i wrote this so tbf u cant really say anything atall can you and yeah i agree midd is a s**t hole !!
Middleton’s full of chavs and chavettes? HAHA…you’ve never been to Blackpool. Like a breeding ground for scallies, everyone there is branding with a trampstamp or eyebrow piercing. Jeremy Kyle holding pen.
Don’t live in langley but from middleton. Who on earth do you think you are. Middleton is a fantastic place to live the people the place is awesome. And middleton as got what many towns hasn’t HISTORY. Not only is it one of the oldest towns its home to many celebritys. Were do you live apart from up your arse? You wouldn’t know a chave if it hit you in the face instead of calling middleton try and spend more than ten minutes in the. BEAUTIFUL place… Want some middleton ? Your a knobhead simple
i live in langley and ive never seen a shooting or stabbing at all nt even heard about it and i used to chill wid peoploe who gt up to that mate so get your facts rite yeah heres a few facts for ya
1.you chat s**t mate
2.langley is alryyte if you be yourself
3.you mite get people s**t stirring sort it owt
4.we dont dress chavvy were nt chavs we dess olryte and normal
4.were nt chavs or chavetts as u put it
5.langley is a lot of fun u have a laugh
6.people have ur back if u gt theres
7.keep ur mouth shut otherwise trouble
8.carry on slagging langley mate cse i sewar u dnt live it it
9.u will propbally get used just respect urself
10.this is jst like any where els in the world
lol chav
‘keep ur mouth shut otherwise trouble?’…and you’re defending Langley? Or just proving that it is full of chavs!!
I’m sorry, i’m from Midd and this article is right! I acknowledge that there are many hardworking and respectable families in the Middleton area, but on the whole, it’s full of unemployed, lazy, uneducated chavs…it’s a shame, but true!
Living in the foothills of Langley I can attest that it is far worse than it is portrayed in this article. Was it not Langley that was central to the Satanist child abuse scandal in the 80′s?
That was shown to be false you mong. People on Langley are decent people, they’ve just been left behind by a LABOUR government that was supposed to bring them prosperity. They (like many others) have had to make do with virtually no social change in the past decade and a half, whilst watching those professionals in the city getting evermore rich. Just try having some empathy for your fellow human beings.
Shannon, are you mad? Langley is the biggest s**t hole on the planet.
Totally agree Wes!
absolute bollocks. its nowhere near as bad as you make it out, cant remember the last time i seen a needle in langley, and as for the stabbings and shootings, i think youll find they happen all over, not just in the “haven and a mecca for the poverty stricken underclass”. what your saying is utter rubbish. langley certainly isnt perfect, but actually, where is?