They tried so hard with Middleton. Back in the day, they built one of the first ‘Arndale’ centres – people flocked for miles around to sample this new, modern, concrete environment. They put flowers and benches in the precinct, built a community centre, investments were made and the future was bright.
But there was one problem, the council houses were just too close by – a haven and a mecca for the poverty stricken underclass who have made it their own: Langley estate.
A no-go area for all but the Chaviest pikeys, and witness to more stabbings, shootings and ford Fiesta soupings then anywhere alse in the North West, bar Salford. The place is complete with it’s own drop in centre – busy daily handing Methadone/morning after pill cocktails for all pre-pubescent chavettes. The streets here are littered with needles, burn outs and dead staffy dogs.
When the Charvster hangover subsides, a trip to the town centre is on the cards; to join the chav gangs hanging around in smoking competitions, vying for the kudos that comes with finding the most extreme technique in sucking the living daylights out of the smuggled ‘tabs.’ A combination of cultural evolution and extreme poverty has resulted in a highly complicated ‘fag share’ scheme – but when this fails, an intimidating approach to an office worker on his lunch is made: “eeyar mate got a fag or what mate eeyar?” The accent of these people canot be explained – a faux Manchester drawl quite different to the normal people living only half a mile up the road but a standard met by all chavsters as consistently as the tracky pants and the Rockport boots.
The Arndale itself has a strangely intimidating fairground atmosphere, the flavour of the shops is pound shop/fetid meat with the majority of units empty. The only thriving business here is ‘Stolen from Ivor’ – a clothes shop specialising in the Chav brand uniform. In this, their natural habitat, keep your head down and move quickly, your non-Burberry outfit will mark you out as prey for the peasants bent on nicking your mobile; eye contact is a no-no, become the grey man and think stealth.
Mid afternoon the Chavs will head over to Wetherspoons to join their fathers (who have been there since 11am) in drinking themselves to a frenzied stupor. After some gratuitous community violence, it’s back to the midden for a violent clash with the family, rip off your police supplied Chav tag and then back to prison next day for breaking your ASBO.
are you having a laugh Langley isn’t that bad, its not brilliant but wow what an overreaction
Ok, lets calm down. I have lived in Middleton my whole life and I agree that 15-20 years ago some areas of Midd were pretty terrible. But a lot has changed since then. There is no where near the kind of violence or drug absue there once was. Langley still remains the rough area although even there things are quite nice. You are much safer living in Midd than many of the surrounding areas such as Oldham, Rochdale, Heywood, Moston. Dont let the past fool you, with direct transport links to Manchester only taking 15 minutes Middleton is seeing an above average rise in property value as wealthier couples can get more for their money against living in Cheadle and Didsbury. Those who live in Mid who dont like it are afraid of the past and keep themselves locked behind their doors. Get out and walk around a bit. I love Middleton
Ellie Peers – your a classic example of a Chav/Chavette unless you’ve done some growing up since making your comment last year, I very much doubt it!
How can anyone defend Langley? It’s a complete shithole! Although I must admit there are some lovely people who live on Langley however there are a lot of Chavs/Chavettes with nothing better to do than bounce around the streets like ‘Wannabes’. Let’s face it, it’s not just Langley it’s the whole of Middleton including Alkrington!
Alkrington used to be ‘THE’ place to live. I wouldn’t live up there if somebody paid me!
I don’t like Middleton, Manchester or England! This Country is going right down the Swanny!!!
hate who are you whats ur real name?? dont really think u know me and i was 13 when i wrote this so tbf u cant really say anything atall can you and yeah i agree midd is a shit hole !!
Don’t live in langley but from middleton. Who on earth do you think you are. Middleton is a fantastic place to live the people the place is awesome. And middleton as got what many towns hasn’t HISTORY. Not only is it one of the oldest towns its home to many celebritys. Were do you live apart from up your arse? You wouldn’t know a chave if it hit you in the face instead of calling middleton try and spend more than ten minutes in the. BEAUTIFUL place… Want some middleton ? Your a knobhead simple
i live in langley and ive never seen a shooting or stabbing at all nt even heard about it and i used to chill wid peoploe who gt up to that mate so get your facts rite yeah heres a few facts for ya
1.you chat shit mate
2.langley is alryyte if you be yourself
3.you mite get people shit stirring sort it owt
4.we dont dress chavvy were nt chavs we dess olryte and normal
4.were nt chavs or chavetts as u put it
5.langley is a lot of fun u have a laugh
6.people have ur back if u gt theres
7.keep ur mouth shut otherwise trouble
8.carry on slagging langley mate cse i sewar u dnt live it it
9.u will propbally get used just respect urself
10.this is jst like any where els in the world
lol chav
‘keep ur mouth shut otherwise trouble?’…and you’re defending Langley? Or just proving that it is full of chavs!!
I’m sorry, i’m from Midd and this article is right! I acknowledge that there are many hardworking and respectable families in the Middleton area, but on the whole, it’s full of unemployed, lazy, uneducated chavs…it’s a shame, but true!
Living in the foothills of Langley I can attest that it is far worse than it is portrayed in this article. Was it not Langley that was central to the Satanist child abuse scandal in the 80′s?
Shannon, are you mad? Langley is the biggest shit hole on the planet.
Totally agree Wes!
absolute bollocks. its nowhere near as bad as you make it out, cant remember the last time i seen a needle in langley, and as for the stabbings and shootings, i think youll find they happen all over, not just in the “haven and a mecca for the poverty stricken underclass”. what your saying is utter rubbish. langley certainly isnt perfect, but actually, where is?