Believe me.. this is the HOME of the Scallies. They have given so much to the contribution of the scallie.
First… Let me begin with clothing. Undoubtedly, Burberry always wins. However, Fred Perry clothing. Man, this was a biggie. Blue jumpers, white strip and Fred Perry logo. Now, is this a coincidence? Yes. Most of the scallies are unaware that Fred Perry was born in Stockport. We even have Fred Perry way. Surely a haven for scallies.
When I resided in Preston, I was asked where I came from. So, Stockport being the answer. To which a chorus of “When In Stockport, Where Your Rockport” Towns further a field than the local bus route are aware of Stockport. Back to local bus routes, the 192 of death. The most violent bus route in Europe. It all happens between Stockport also. Bus’s burnt out by scallie kids messing with fire works then getting off scott free because they’re mam has 15 kids, each one ending in a high pitched squeal. Example for girls, Toni (Tow-Ni), Kiera (Kier-roh). Usually something ending in Oh (A lower case O) and leaves the mouth wide open at the end of the word. Now, to get somebodys attention, Stockport scallies love a TV program. An American medical show. ER. A Standard conversation would begin with “EEEEE-RRRR Kier-Roh”
Now you have the basis of Stockport, I will digress.
As mentioned in an article already on Stockport, You need to go to watch Stockport County. As described, there REALLY is a sea of cream tartan. I think the Burberry hat exploded upon the Stockport scene because we are known as a Hat Factory town. Hence Stockport County being the Hatters. Old roots never die!
Now, most of this Burberry gear is fake. For those who cannot afford to purchase, or are too scared to thieve these items from All Sports (2 of, one being a Mega All Sports) JJB (Again 2 of) Streetwise Sports, JD Sports, Donnay shop or at a push TK Max, We have the glamorous Stockport Market, for all your fake needs.
Also in Stockport, socks are important. It started about 1997. A number of scallies rode their stolen BMX’s to school. Some noticed it caught their pants in the cogs, so they tucked their trousers into their socks. This was soon un tucked at school. However, one rebel left his pants in. The fashion began. One sock showing. Then, this became two socks. Socks then developed from your usual Adidas and Nike brands to Golf Socks. I dont know when this transition took place, but it was soon replaced with cartoon (cart-une is Stockport) socks. Tweety Pie and Taz were soon a regular sight.
Jewelry is essential. The bigger the bling, the more impressed your scallie-ett will be. Again, a number of outlets. Samuels, Argos (2 of) Index and various just as cheap jewelry establishments.
Undoubtedly, Stockport has a breeding ground for scallies. Grand Central. When opened it boasted to be a Mecca. Pizza hut, McDonalds, A Bar, Swimming Baths, Bowling, Cinema and A Night Club. This is now somewhat run down by the influx of scallies who just sit in the middle shouting their gobs off. The night club soon lost its license because it was rubbish. Re-opened and re-branded, it still is a haven for 16yr scallies trying to get cheap booze, and some giant hopped earring girl to touch them. Heaven and Hell. What a club. The bar, called squares is gone now. And just to take that shine off it, a family Planning clinic. Monday mornings are comedy. You have never seen so many nervous scallie lads pretending not to be with the young slappers as they cue for miles to get the morning after pill. Most of them even know the employees of the businesses surrounding because they are such regulars.
Stockport Council has even cut a deal (Rumored) with Tesco. A new 24hr Tesco is being built on the outskirts of town. It is rumored that this planning permission was only granted so Tesco could employee the masses of people on welfare and benefits. I have heard several accounts of students etc.. who have been refused, even though they could be accepted at other branches. Hmm.. rum.
Well, that should clear it up for you.
Remember, when In Stockport, Wear Ya’ Rockport.
I used to work for Stockport Homes housing association as a Clerk of Works, and was treated to many an in-depth look at the archetypal chav and chav home. As much Argos gold as their wrists/fingers/necks could carry (the full ‘Mr T’ look being most desirable), the council house facelift for female chavs (hair scraped back to the point where the chav’s facial skin was pulled taught), and at least one kid (how else are you going to go to the top of the housing list?), complete with stupid name, eg Alysha, Lakeesha, Chardonnay, Tyson, Anneka, or a combination of all of those. The house or flat had to be furnished with as much stolen property as possible, or at least furniture ‘bought’ on credit, which was about as likely to be repaid as the USA’s deficit. Sky TV was mandatory, and in winter the heating and gas fire had to be running at full chat (when you aren’t paying for the rent or heating, it’s daft not to). Dog turds in the house were optional, as was having doors/drawers on the kitchen units (usually torn off in a drunken stupor) and having room doors which didn’t have fist or boot holes in them.
The sense of entitlement that comes with being a chav is also an essential requirement. 99% of them were as thick as a Gurkha’s foreskin, but they could play the benefit system like Oscar Peterson on a Baby Grand. Any time you had to tell one of these knuckle scraping imbeciles that they weren’t getting a new kitchen or bathroom (usually because the one they had was only 3 years old, but appeared to have been used by a herd of blind rhinos every day), you could expect a torrent of abuse that was so jaw-droppingly moronic that it was hard to not keel over laughing.
It was always hardest to speak with the old people who lived on the God-forsaken estates, who kept their homes clean and tidy and tended their gardens, and spent their nights behind bolted doors, cowering from the drooling cretins roaming the streets. Stockport is a microcosm of Britain. The place is f**ked.
lol
Stockport aint that bad. Well actually it proberly si now like everywher in this country. I live in sale snow at 34. i gre wup in one of the nciers parts of STockport. grand central was always like tah. i rember going to taht club when it was c alled Coco Savannas ws ok then.
Grand cnetral always ahd afew scallies about and was quite violent. But i drove through Brinnington recently (its on teh hill above stockport) -Jesus now taht place is a hell hole ghetto.
soory my typing is poor and I cant be bothered correcting it must b ebecaus IMs tockport scally scum, where me brown rockport boots, I dont like fred perry any more I like LAcoste, which i refre to as Lacostie. I did lugh at the commenta bout them elaving their mouths opne afte evry word. IN many wasy Stockport was always more aggro tahn much of Manchester.
I wrote this some years ago. It is still relevant today. Brilliant.
and Tesco did open.
And it is full of Welfare Scroungers.
Pmsl im no chav but i live in stockie – edgeley n i fink its mint!! yer they r alot of chavs n tht but who cares u gt thm anywhere! ive bin out wif chavs n ther not as bad as thy seem!! ther all iccle darlings really
luv barbie xx 
yup. appears another chav found the internet. YOUR A COCK. NOW f**k OFF
Pardon?
nah nah nah!! stockie iznt bou scalliezz!! it bout bein wit ya granny shoppin in dorothy perkinzzzzzz!! 4 sum sxc nikers!!!!!!!! dnt dis stockie! itz bin da best ome 2 me 4evaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in a bizzle!! x
Someone told me on christmas eve they had been in the new Tesco you mentioned and in their opinion many of the staff seemed like scallies. They said the store was filthy and wouldnt be going again.
Your other comments about Stockport I should imagine could reflect the way a lot of towns/cities are these days.