Aaah Hampton, leafy middle-class suburb where I grew up and returned to with a young family. Hampton, as in Hampton Court, home of kings and queens down the ages.
Hampton is part of the London Borough of Richmond upon Thames, the smartest part of the capital outside the actual centre, where celebrities live by the bucketload. While not in that league, Hampton has hundreds of properties worth more than £750 K.
Hampton is near a few epicentres of west London chavdom vizt. murky flyover-dominated Sunbury-on-Thames (see separate article), unspeakable Feltham (ditton), once rather nice now chav-infested Kingston (ditto) and the pustular boil on London’s arse that is Hounslow AKA ‘aaaaanzlaaarrr (and how that hasn’t been done on Chavtowns yet is a mystery to rank with the Kennedy assassination).
None of these, however, is near enough to Hampton for the chavviness to spill over. Even Hampton’s council estate, Nurserylands, is really not bad at all, while neighbouring Hanworth is merely scruffy and down-at-heel. In all, Hampton is dull, suburban and quiet and not chavvy at all.
Then again, there is Dean Road. Dean Road is a festering elephant’s abortion of a road, whose spiralling chavviness is spreading out over the whole place like diarrhoea on a teflon-coated pyramid, a foul sink of pasty-face shell-suited yobbery that is single-handedly dragging the whole place down to the gutter it gleefully lives in.
Let me give you a bit of history. 30 years ago, an Asian schoolfriend of mine used to take the bus two stops longer than he needed to and walked ten minutes out of his way to avoid the Dean Road shortcut because he got sick of being beaten up there. Since then, things have deteriorated.
Recently, chav culture has hit here big time i.e. tracky bottoms, chunky gold necklaces and burbery caps for Kev, big ‘oop earrings, pastel pink trackies and Croydon facelifts for Trace etc etc etc, well you know the list by now. Recently, I spotted one chavette (admittedly not in Dean Road) with a customised pair of jeans sporting the word ‘Bling’, picked out in silver studs on each arse cheek. I am not making this up.
Put on your crash helmet and bullet proof vest and take a walk down Dean Road with me. Lets start where my mate used to take his walk to oblivion, the footbridge over the Longford which leads you into Dean Road. First sight is the world’s toughest ducks in the river (they being the survivors of 50 years – or should I say 4 generations – of Dean Road chavs buzzing bricks at them.
As you walk into the Dean Road itself, try to dodge Kai and Chesney’s half-arsed attempts to skateboard up a pile of bricks at the end. Admire the cars, BMWs as well as souped-up Novas, that our wonderful benefit system provides. Don’t step on that patch of grass, it’s got discarded condoms and needles on it as well as broken pallets and the detritus of last weekend. Prepare for a sparkling conversation with a witty little chavling (here they speak in cod Oirish, f**k knows why). Sample underneath reproduced from memory:
Chavling: Arr so you’re Rosie’s dad aren’t ye now?
Me: No I’m not
Chavling: Sure you are and you’re Rosie’s dad.
Me [thinks of saying 'Do you think I don't know my childrens' names?' but then realises this is Dean Road, where such things are the norm]: I’m not, now bog off
Chavling: Ooo nahh keep yer hair on etc.
Pass the first 30 or so houses and you are where the chavs hang out, i.e. an open bit of pavement outside the shop where the poor Sikh family that run it – if I can be serious for a moment – must wonder what they did in a previous life to deserve having the slime of west London banging the door or nipping in to steal sweets at all hours of the day.
There are no pubs here or particularly near, but you do see the odd one pluck up the courage to walk 10 minutes to the Court Jester on the Nurserylands estate. This is a smoke-filled ruin from the 1970s, full of bulletheaded Chelsea supporting hardcases who could sort out the average chav in no time.
Come to the junction with Hanworth Road and that’s it. Beyond that is also Dean Road, but there is nothing much wrong here. At the junction, however, is the other big reason for Dean Road’s uber-chav status: Rectory School. Webmaster, if you ever set up a ‘chavschools’ site, this is going to be the first on. In the meantime, here goes…
Actually the school is now called Hampton Community College, which is another chiz, since it isn’t a college, it is nothing but a pain for the community and it is only just in Hampton. To those who went to neighbouring Hampton Grammar School, though, it will always be Rectory, or better still Rejectory. Having a grammar and a secondary modern side by side was a big recipe for trouble and there were regular bunfights in the 1970s. Regular as clockwork, the ‘tough’ Rejectory lads would try to ‘take’ Hampton by charging the fence and were invariably beaten to a pulp by the boat club boys ha ha ha.
Rejectory’s main function is to keep Kyle and Chantelle-Louise off the streets and on balance it is better that it does, but that means that us poor denizens of Hampton have to suffer the swarms of them, chavved up to the nines and punctuating every other word with f*****ng, making their way in for another day of hard dossing, then coming back via scrawling their infantile ‘tags’ on some hapless shopkeeper’s windows or homeowners’ walls. Last week, 12 out of the 18 shops in one parade got this treatment.
The chavviness and general yobbery has accelerated in the past three years or so I have lived here. It feels like once a week sirens blare down Hanworth Road and every time, every time bar none, it is three police cars (they wouldn’t do it alone!) are going down Dean Road to sort out some pikey domestic. Plus, needless to add, the council sends refuse collectors down there twice as often as anywhere else.
A couple of other choice incidents: 12, count ‘em 12, police outside Rejectory at 4 pm because they had intelligence [sic.] that a fight had been planned. Still, they try hard the police. The same week, they held a public meeting at a nearby community centre to deal with public concerns about bad behaviour from kids. It was disrupted by kids throwing chairs at the door…
So that is the Dean Road for you, an object lesson in how a few inbred dimwits can drag a whole place down. Seriously if I were Michael Howard, I’d make dealing with pondlife like this a big part of my manifesto for the next election, it would be worth a few votes wouldn’t it?
The TRUTH and nothing but the truth!!
Well done my friend for speaking your heart out!
The school is now called Hampton Academy AKA (Hell HOLE!!)
I’ve experience nothing nor learnt anything but complete and utter s**t!
What a load of crap, dean road was fine, i went to rectory in the late 80′s and left in 94,there was trouble with triads when i first joined, (a teacher was knocked out in Buckingham fields one sports day) the other trouble was the pikey Irish travelers who have an encampment opposite the school, it was a good school, i had classmates who went on to become very successful earning 100k plus, i also know a few Hampton “graduates” who became benefit seeking scum for the last 15 years, Hampton is hardly a “chav town” when most houses cost around 3ook +.
anyone remember Nazi neathy ? Mrs Wilson (RIP)? The honey monster? Ha ha happy days
Just found this site,I went to Rectory early 60′s not very keen but not at all like you have all said, although definitely rivalry between Grammar school and Lady Helena, I remember Mrs.Bryant art teacher(nice)and our maths teacher(not so nice)when he got annoyed with us specially me, had a habit of calling us girls a load of besoms,anyone know his name?In the winter when the longford river was frozen over we went home skating!!!?back to Teddington( Princes road where I lived)that was the best times,and also our school dinners were really good then. When I was sitting upstairs on double decker after school sometimes my friends and I grabbed a boater of one of the Lady Helena Hollis girls and threw it downstairs before leaving the bus, quite a crime in those days,not by todays standards I guess!!!Any way I was very keen to leave school and go to work, I can’t say that I gained much from attending Rectory educationally.
I went to Rectory school in the 50 till 1961,it was great.we used to walk from Uxbridge road (not far) to school back again for lunch then back to school,rushing past Lady Helenas school and the Hampton grammer school,a few sneers from them but nothing harmful.We had some wonderful teachers.The only thing Idont have is class photos and I would just love one,any suggetions?Any year from 1957.Many thanks
I went to Rectory from ’74 to ’78, in that time I honestly don’t remember the Grammar School w**kers besting us in one fight. I lived down Rectory Grove until my folks moved us to Teddington, me and my brother John walked to school at Rectory every day over the Longford past the pikeys and Bishops Grove mob. I still remember my first year at Rectory, the “big riot” where all the boiler room windows got busted out, old “Gilbert Grace” had us all outside marching around like little soldiers, he still thought the war was going on in his head. I got cained once by Mr Leaver, me and Scott Simpson, we had to pretend it hurt, I’m sure that geezer was a queer. The P.E teacher slammed me up against his metal cabinet in my second year, I remember when my brother and his friends found out they beat the s**t out of him. And then there was the Senior Trip to Holland, Mr Winters was the male teacher, he was pretty cool, Donna Harcourt if you’re reading this, How you doing?
Well thats it from me, gotta go back to what I was doing. I live in America now and have done since 1984.
any of you idiots remember me, i remember some of you, even you ellsbury.what you been up to, im now living in america, you lot are still living in same place probaly. loosers
PS The resentment felt by some at Rectory towards the Grammar next door was most definitely fuelled by them buying up huge swathes of our sports field (as if they didn’t have enough grounds already). I doubt if it would be allowed nowadays.
I had the misfortune to go to Rectory in the 1970s – it was a crap school made even more crap by the efforts of Shirley Williams et al. Anything I learned or achieved was in spite of it, not because of it. Anyway, I digress, my main reason for posting is that the author of this piece seems to be labouring under a misapprehension that the Rectory boys got their arses whopped by Hampton Grammar boys – simply not true. Rectory School had a fierce reputation as being tough, Hampton Grammar most definitely didn’t – I don’t advocate violence but facts are facts. Hampton Grammar was full of chess playing, middle class nerds – Rectory was full of rough diamonds – who do YOU think won in a fight? Clue: it wasn’t the ‘boat boys’ (doing imaginary w*nker gesture).
I went to Rectory from 1970 to 1975 When I started there we had a 6th and upper 6th, it was a very intimadating place for 1st years, there were frequent fights, and Gilbert Grace would cane you for anything, leaver the headmaster was so wet it was frightening. From the 3rd year it got steadily better, I can honestly say the 4th and 5th years were ok, the teachers on the whole were ok,Hutson the english teacher, chops Winter, Mr Hall ( metalwork ) Scroaty Oatey the carpentry teacher and “Tom ” Marter ( chemistry) were good and we learnt quite a lot, my mates Paul Birchall, drooper Cooper and a few others had a good laugh, as for the Grammer dogs and fighting them… it rarely happened, and was a bit of shoving and was over in a flash, Dean road after the shops was rougher but never that bad, my girlfriend Lynn Williams lived there and I used to deliver papers down pidgeon lane,I cant say it was that rough.
Hi Ian, it was great when we were there.
went to hampton academy (HCC) for 2 days.. on my second day some bigman decided to punch me in the face, i stamped on the c**ts head and broke his nose, s**t school.
Your all posh twats,im not a chav went to Rectory and im doing alright and lived down dean road all my life……If you lot keep getting beaten up around there look closer to home for the problem…………Not the best road in the world but not really that bad.
I used to go to this school but back then it was called Hampton community college. Rectory got a bad reputation that’s why they changed it to Hampton community college sounded better and looked better getting new building library and everything. But I got to agree what is being said. It’s an utter s**t whole! There’s pikey’s all around! Thinking there all big threating people walking past. My bad they like to be called Travers! Makes no difference there intimidate people act like little kids and yes I’m also talking about the adults! Not that I would call them that! They let their dogs roam around setting them on helpless people minding their own bizness walking by!
WOULDN’T CALL THEM THAT!!! REPORT STUDENTS LIKE ME 1 DAY A WEEK GOT 2 HAVE DOMONO’S PIZZA! WON PRIZES PLAYED GAMES! JUST COZ WE CAME IN TO SCHOOL! ANYTHING WE WANTED! … I was good realised being little bad you will get noticed so my point is don’t praise the bad!! Praise the good! I got to go 2 THORPE PARK EVERY YEAR!! Coz I was good! After I was bad! Good always don’t get u anywhere but bullied!!! Watch out!! Don’t go there!!
The school isn’t any better … they have got a new built in area outside the houses to make it look attractive encourage people to come in to H.C.C witch we call it for Hampton Community College is a joke! Students can get away with anything spraying deodorant at students and then lighting it … mostly pointed at their face or their hair (stinge it) I understand all the slang they say coz I picked it up after time!
We all have done stupid stuff when we were there not because we wanted to but because we could! There’s no control all run around like animals! Who remembers in the school one person going round shouting FIGHT!!!! Getting everyone hyped up! Then gang of students follow shouting fight fight! Then everyone follows there aren’t enough teachers or staff to control that amount of students all exited!
I’ve seen teachers stand there not getting invalid! Why kids get battered spat at kicked in the on-going traffic! Sprayed in the eye! To tell you the truth when Ofsted come in we act good! Play up now and again … that’s why they get such a good report of stead or there now and again they don’t see what goes on in the school! The intimidation! Cheating! bullying there’s so much to say I can be here for ever!
The school was so bad!! A new student came in his name was Daniel he started selling knives round back of school near bike shed people were getting threated scared to say something! We even was going to get metal detectors but they didn’t put them in place probs couldn’t afford it! They would check our bags now and again that are why he got busted! Then we had police around college waiting outside!
Even around Hampton area has gottern so bad! Whole area Hanworth Feltham! There’s no safe place to go anymore there all taking over! Not one place you can go that you can feel safe!
And of course coz Hampton got a bad name they changed the school again! Called Hampton Accadmay! To tell you the truth changing the name and uniform just doesn’t help. Teachers are rubbish can’t teach to save there life’s! Can’t tell you how many teachers we went through my class! Class only got rid of loads of teachers by terrising and making them cry! You might get the odd teacher that’s ok … apart from that! You’re in serious trouble! Do not teach at that school!
People didn’t even show up anymore me including they was worried getting bad report from Ofsted so GET THIS!!!! They put me on REPORT!!! And PAYED ME TO COME IN TO SCHOOL! £5 A WEEK! Had to make sure I was on time to lessons and everything! BUT! THEY PAYED EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE SCHOOL £5 A WEEK AND MORE!!!! JUST TO BE ON TIME AND COME IN TO SCHOOL!
Hcc or Hampton accamdy should be shut down! Closed! No more school bad area but students … aren’t they breaking the law paying students to come in to school! AND WE HAD WORK SHOPS
So much more to say! But it will never stop!! List gose on! Think about what I said!!!
Same school different name and uniform things won’t change!!!
Hahaha!!
I remember hearing about that snowball fight.
But did you know that a boy got expelled from the grammar school for dealing drugs and then went to rejectory.
i went to rectory school with my 2 brothers, it was a school that taught to fail,
Heh heh Mark! How are you Alex and Richard! Hope well! Remember me?
Apart from a bit of exageration I think the write-up is a fair reflection of how I remember the school!..
I think it’s better now – but that’s not saying much!
hi ian of course i remember you, as you were one of the most cerebral in our class, i have some fond memories of some people, but rectory was crap its license was to decerebrate the working class, how is life with you, i live in manchester these days.
Oh dear oh dear. What a life you must have had. The boat club boys??? Says it all for me. Why dont you take a drive round Blackburn or Manchester and see what its like. Nice to hear you private education has taught you well for the “real world”. I can imagine your scared of your own shadow.
Ha ha lol, I can totally relate to everything said. I grew up in Hampton and had the misfortune to go to Rectory school and it was the worst school ever!! The education there was awful and the teachers were hopeless with a few excpetions of course – like Mr Hudson the English teacher. I was terrified to walk down Dean Rd, it certainly was a scary place – especially when the gypo’s lived there. The crime was terrible too and I couldn’t wait to get away. Can’t believe the school is now a school of performing arts – hope the students achieve more than I ever did going there, see they still have the same uniform though. I remember the Longford River too, loved the comments about the ducks – I used to wonder what was at the bottom of that river! All in all, I do not have very fond memories of the place and am not suprised it hasn’t changed, I can just imagine the grafitti!
Just saw your site and have to say – how bigoted are YOU!! Your piece on ‘Chavs’ is full of sloppy writing – I’d expect better from a Hampton Grammar Boy! Firstly, Nurserylands is not a council estate, I lived there, it is a mixed development. The most peaceful place in Hampton at half the cost – by the reservoirs and the old common fields, so very nice and not a chav in sight!
Secondly, HCC is not bad at all, they have lots of good links with the other schools on the road, and the fact that snobbery and bias exists in each side of the fence should not be heightened by world-wide blogs! Did you know that HCC is probably going to become a top academy with a ground-breaking form of teaching? As for the shops adjacent to HCC and Rectory, they have been demolished and a great new housing development is almost complete, for over 55s and tenants, with their own shared cinema, no less! Be careful what you say about Dean Road – it is a perfectly nice 2 bed terraced road, leading down to the leafy and uber posh Buckingham Road. The fact that, 5 years ago, a few travellers who legally inhabited the Bishop Grothier site may have been a bit cheeky does NOT mean that the entire road is full of tinker types! I actually viewed a house in nearby Pigeon Lane, and the site is right next to it, but they really do not want to interfere or interract with anyone, in my experience. You never hear of any trouble. There are loads of different types of people living in close proximity to one another between Hanworth Road, Dean Road, Hampton Lane, and Swan Road, and I think it shows all that is good about London that, by and large, people get along just fine.
If you insist on Chav Towns, look further along!
chav scum. kill em. its easy. just get some marrathon runner to run round london with them all chasing him. the runner will be wareing rebox trainer have a nice mobile phone and a sound system balsting so solid crew tunes. lead them down the under ground station in kings cross station lead them to the end of the platform tell them there is an underground party there. they are so stupid they would fall for it. where there while be an old man with a long beard and a turban round his head. with a pin sticking out between his teeth. then well u can guess the rest. BOOM…..10 mins later they will announce a delay on the trains but thats normal
ANYONE HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT TANGLEY PARK ROAD
hahahahaha, at christmas last year (2003) there was a huge snowball fight between hampton skool and HCC (rejectory), the pikey twats felt the need to throw stones and bricks instead of snowballs. Then one dickhead decided to climb over the fence and tried to beat up some year 7s and 8s. One of our sixth formers then proceeded to tell the pikey to f**k off. This was met with a drunk punch from the pikey, which missed. The sixth former floored the pikey in one hit. This year (2004) the pikeys tried their hand at invasion (armed with metal poles and bits of plumbing) but were scared off by a bald chemistry teacher. Also, beware of anywhere near dean road, since beatings can happen anywhere in the general area, like nightingale road (where i got my broken nose from a couple of pikey twats 2 years older) and some other kid had his face run over with a (stolen) bike.