It’s been a couple of months since anyone’s done this place. I’ve been working here for 2 and a bit years. I’d previously worked in croydon for nearly 4 years, hated it, thought Redhill might be a nice, peaceful change of scenery. Images of a green, picturesque Middle England market sprung to mind. Fuck, was I wrong?
The first thing that strikes you when getting out of your car/alighting the train, is that the whole town reeks of pigshit, no kidding! Driving into town is a wonderful experience, I drive in from Kent. On the way in, I drive through lovely vilages such as Westerham, Godstone and Bletchingley. On approaching Redhill, the skies darken, the air grows ripe with the odour of shit. At the top of Redstone Hill is a sign for Redhill Town Centre, under which sits a blind, buberry clad chav kid playing duelling banjos on his “mobly”. However , the full horror of what you’ve driven into doesn’t hit till you emerge from under the railway bridge to be face with a shit roundabout, with McDonalds on the other side. Once parked, you have to then wade through up turned rubbish bins and christ knows what else to get to where you’re going. The council have recently started redoing the whole centre, and to be fair it’s looking ok, but I give the new trees about 2 months, and the paving is already covered in piss, puke and shit. The council need sort out the inhabitants before they start on the architecture.
The “people” have the usual slack jawed expression that you’d except from a bunch of fucking inbred hillbillies, or Redhillbillies as me and my associates are known to call them. Fucking pigshit ignorant doesn’t even describe them fully enough. When they open they’re burgerholes, out comes some of the most moronic, strange and slightly threatening sounds that have ever been heard by man. Most of the local chavs, especially the younger ones, walk up and down Station Road and the High Street yelling and grunting at the top of their voices to the chav who is walking next to them. I swear to God that I’ve never once worked out what they’re “saying”. Just walking from work to Sainsburys is enough to drive me to the top of the nearest belltower with a bren gun, the noise of chavspeak drives me mad, I imagine neanderthal man made more sense than this.
Favourite hangouts, or rather places I avoid where possible, seem to be:
the covered section in front of Sainsburys-here they lounge around on the benches, smoking and spitting, hurling abuse at passersby, and consuming large amounts of cheap and nasty alcohol.
Burger King and McDonalds-self explanatory, even chavs like to dine out.
The alleyway besides the newsagents-there’s some land round here where the younger chavs like to go and smoke , drink, tag bins/backdoors with indecipherable logo’s and messages such as RM is a neek (what the fuck is a neek?) and Joe C is a cunt (probably). They also seem to mate down there.
Sex seems to start when they’re about 12, I can’t blame them, there’s nothing else to do in this place especially as they can’t get into the pubs until they’re at least 14. The pubs are a complete no-go area, there’s not 1 pub worth going into, this is the 1st time I’ve been to a town for any length of time that has no decent boozers. Unthinkable. I can’t really comment on the pubs as I have only been in about 3 of them once. But , needless to say I would be going to any of them ever again. They have all the charm of a romantic evening with Jordan. Fuck all.
I’m trying my hardest to get a job well away from here, because much more of this place and I’ll be turnig vigilante, and picking off chavs indisciminately along Station Road. Unfortunately, I live 4 miles from Dartford (my nearest shopping town), and 2 miles from Bluewater, so I’m fucked anyway you look at it. In fact I may be soon submitting a piece on these shortly!
haha.
that’s funny shiz about deadhill. To be fair though I have friends who live there in the nice parts ( yes there are nice parts) and if your well away from the town like more near carlton road then your fine and have a lovely house and won’t be disturbed by the chavs… it’s just the town itself is a grubby shithole, i used to walk into it after school and walking past in our skirts past the old men lingering outside the pub drinking at like 3 in the afternoon. nice.
not forgetting Liquid and envy which brings all the chavs in..
But yes i guess it depends which part of redhill you go to… no wait just don’t go to it.
Having lived in deadhill for 18 years I can say I had to move away or would probably died from depression. This town has nothing to offer – there is no real future here for anyone. For its size there is a lot of chavs, pikeys etc due to soo many council estates such as cromwell, colesmead, whitebushes, timperly, mertham (if u consider it redhill) and the dome area (not sure on the name). and even more boys come when the famous travellers come down in the summer. Redhill only saving grace is London about 30 minutes away on train and the fact there is good transport to get out asap! but to warn any of you out there thinking of redhill is a typical surrey well-to-do town you will be very suprised when you visit and you might have wished you stayed home (no exaggeration)! Go Reigate instead much nicer and suprisingly right bang next to deaders! (though woodhatch is nasty place too)
How… crude. Yeah, as a Redhill resident I have to admit it isn’t that great, especially since we don’t really have that many shops thanks to the recession and it does have a very distinctive smell, but it isn’t as awful as you make out. There may be a lot of ‘chavs’ as you all put it, but that’s true in lots of places; nothing particularly different here. Furthermore, the poor spelling and grammar in both your article and many comments, not to mention the swearing, leads to me questioning your own qualifications to judge these people. It doesn’t help that we have a notoriously poor school – The Warwick- directly next to the main town, the source I believe of many of these proclaimed chavs.
Having lived here for 11 years, I am perfectly happy here, finding my neignbouurs to be pleasant and friendly. There may be many things about Redhill which aren’t great, but they’re the same thing you’ll find in many towns throughout the South.
Southampton,Portsmouth,Hull,Dartford,Leeds,Kirby,Staines,Slough,Reading,Dagenham……..forget it, this is the capital of Jez Kyleland!
And I’ve been to all of them!!!!
Have you ever seen the film Threads? Night of the Living Dead? Deliverence? Nil by Mouth?Scum? Put all those movies together and you have some idea how shit this town really is.
From the 60′s urban nightmare with regards to town planning, the plethora of pahhhhhhhhhhhnd and Clinton’s, to pubs filled up with a mixture of “care in the community” lunatics,wannaby mockney ghhhhhansta’s, thieving gypo’s (ooooooopps “travellers”), fat slag mums aged about 14 and chavdom, where stabbing and procreating is a way of live,where “keeping it in the family” takes a whole new meaning, and the whole place stinking of a very ripe corpse-yes Deadhill is the archtype of hell.
But to make matters worse, there is “The Strip”.Starting from Croydon follow the A23 down,Coulsdon,Merstham,Deadhell,Earlswood,Salford,Horley and ending up in Creepy Crawley (home of the Al Quieda chapter-and I’m not joking!!!!!) -if you want a slow motion ride through an urban nightmare of gray featureless towns with nasty vermin infesting them,then take this trip………………….
Everywhere else is utopia
Hmmmmm…….a great article that discribes Deadhill down to a tee!
On of the problems that hasn’t been noticed is the fact the large amount of “care in the community” since they closed down the Royal Earlswood and Kane Hill- Friday night in Sainsbury’s is a real treat when the local down and outs pop in to do themselves in with Asprine or stock up on cheap and nasty booze-thats after they have been to the “Abbott” or “the Scum” and have had their fisty cuffs with the local chavdom.
Lets not forget those other nasty shit holes in the area-Salford,Horley,Oxted (chavdom and posh c*unts), Hurst Green, South Godstone (ex pickies and the rubbish that even Deadhill does not won’t), Merstham.Tandridge and Crowhurst (tiny villages with a handful of houses) are about the best the area has to offer…
I had to leave to move abroad-and dispite having mates living in the I’ve not been back in 8 years-and not a chance of EVER going back.
M8-Dartford!!!! You poor fucker-that makes Deadhill look like utopia……
m8 godstone is a shit tip it looks all lovely from the outside but as soon u venture further in u start to regret it. its full of chavs and dirty lil girlies its a proper lil skank hole i feel so sorry for the people who r unlucky enough to live there. my advice lock all doors and window and have your car windows and doors reinfored.
obviously never stayed for too long in godstone, picturesque village, untill you reach the council estate. however i live on the other side so so far have not had to face too much of it
i agree wid every think every one is saying redhill is a sh*t holewid nasty people in itespeshaly when a chav has smashed your window! damn. i have lived here all my life…14 years arrrggghhh i just think why.
I am very surprised by this comment about Redhill or Deadhill as i know it. Why do you ask? well it is extremly polite about the town! I lived in Redhill for 18 years of my life and have know lived away for 4 years but with many visits back, to see family.
The description of the town is mild, and the description of the townie inhabitants of 80% of redhill, Yes i am affraid to say that there must be at least 20% of redhill residents that are not chavs, but are mearly suffering for there sins in there past lives and have been forced to live there remaning days in the mundane pit of hell that we all love to know as Deadhill. Some off us lucky ones have seen the light! yes when the trains work you can get on one and leave this godforsaken hell hole! I did! and went to live in a rural location and no i am not telling you where as you are not moving here to make my life hell.
The town centre of redhill does in fact have a rapidly growing number of chavs, due mainly to the councellers in reigate doing there up most best to keep them out of reigate at all costs. so they are building more and more chav homes in redhill and are stoping any form of highstreet shop ever opening in reigate and only allowing the likes of choices, jjb, bon marche, chav only market stalls and chav only pubs opening in redhill.
There is no question about it, Redhill has become a second rate town and it can not be reversed, so LEAVE, move to RH2 if you have too. but leave rh1.
Hmmm…so you live near Dartford, you used to work in Croydon and now you work in Inbredhill.
Face it mate, you were just born to have a shitty life. Maybe you were a mass murderer in your last incarnation or something.
Ite