Well Stourport – what can I say? It is a truly awful place, considered to be a nice little town by brummies who visit every weekend and bankholiday to litter the place with fish and chip wrappers and beer cans.
There are no proper shops in Stourport. However, it accomodates chavs nicely as it has a fair by the river with a huge slide, which if they are not careful will burn holes in the chav tracksuits. There are amusement arcades, fish and chip shops, Quiksave, Lidle, discount shops and a few pubs. There is absolutely nothing cultural or interesting about the town yet this does not deter all these tourists from coming to stay in their caravans every weekend.
The town, like most chav towns, is full of teenage mothers pushing round children (of various fathers) and shouting “Ged ere!” at the top of their hoarse voices due to smoking hundreds of cheap fags each day. You can guarantee that the majority of the women look rather a lot like Vicky Pollard and the men are usually covered in tattoos, have shaved heads (actually nowadays a lot of the men have those mullet hair cuts that have suddenly become very fashionable – why oh why???) lots of earrings and of course the typical chav sportswear. In summer time, the Stourport scum are normally wearing vest tops to reveal their sun burnt shoulders and their large range of tattoos. There is also a huge amount of overweight people with awful skin, due to a diet of fish and chips or McDonalds but these people seem to want to show off their curves (flab) by wandering around in skin tight shorts or trousers with their stomach hanging over the waistband – not a pleasant sight.
And like various other chav towns, there is the usual variety of boy-racers whom you can hear coming a mile away with their dush dush dush thumpy music and their huge exhausts and spoilers. When our generation are old and sitting in nursing homes, it will be easy to spot the boy-racers then even without the cars (they will be the totally deaf ones) – maybe they will be tarting up their wheelchairs too!!!