I come from the shitty little town they call bromsgrove. The town is full of either old people or chavs. There is no escaping the smelll of cidar and draw, the streets are slippy with mucus, and every setence is finished with either “safe” or “innit”. You cant light a fag without someone popping over your shoulder saying “sort us two’s man or i’ll bang you out,innit.”. The main hangout spot for chavs is Sanders park which has enough benches to keep the average chav happy. The chavs also hang outside the schools waiting for hometime so they can pick fights with the school kids,but only beacuse they are smaller and younger then them. The fair has come to town this week which means its a night out for the chavs, a brake from the benches they have ocuppied for so long. The redditch and rubery chavs come down to pick fights on the bromsgrove chavs when the fair is around becuase they are from different town. Dont ask me why.Probably because they arent clever enough to think of a good enough reason to pick a fight. They dont actually go on the fair rides because they have spent thier last fiver on cidar or ‘a teenth of draw man,innit,safe,respect. Even the fair is run by chavs.
‘what you looking at?”
“im wondering how that hat isnt falling off your head,is it glued.?
“uh?”
Bromsgrove has got to be full of idiots to elect an MP that did nothing but rip off Parliamentary expenses. The Labour Party’s answer was to stand at the last election a Thunderbird or he looked like one, who polled the worse Labour Vote ever!!!
I think the Germans were right, Bromsgrove is an unofficial Lunatic Assylum…. If you find yourself in Bromsgrove keep going till you either hit Worcester or Brum
Bromsgrove and its environs is a true twin track town.
It has smart parts, great pubs and restaurants, active societies, etc etc.
But – be careful to go into town early in the day or travel out for socialising.
Pay a visit to the High st after about 12pm or go on a pub crawl in the evening and all the retards, chavs and benefit munters come out to play.
Given the almost total absence of ethnic minorities it is amazing how many of the buggies being pushed around the shops contain black kids. Either there is a VERY active guy around or, more likely, the shell suited mingers travel to Birmingham or Worcester to get knocked up and claim their council flat/benefits.
A visit to Wetherspoons or the Dog later in the day will introduce you to Bromsgroves “finest”.
Laura Hall, famous for being banned from every pub in England – comes from Bromsgrove .
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1266298/Woman-person-banned-EVERY-pub-club-country.html
Just think of the film “28 days later” if you fancy a night out!
Bromsgrove is a microcosm of the UK – dying on its feet. The people who can – do – and the rest just mope about, taking drugs and getting drunk on state handouts.
But if you think Bromsgrove is bad just go up the road to Catshill !!!
Words fail me. Half the shops are takeaways – I guess most people don’t have a cooker or the brains to use one. Armed post office and supermarket raids are a frequent risk.
Pay a visit to the Ivy Cottage pub (check it out on Beer-in-the-evening website) – if you want a spotty, infectious, scrawny bird for the price of a few lagers this is the place. The children are feral and have faces like puff pastry – living, no doubt, on a diet of chips and grease.
Bromsgrove really must be one of the most dull, drab, boring, dull, uneventful, timewarped, grey, did I say dull? towns in the UK. Locals (i was born there) are known as swede ‘eds, very fitting as a good night out is getting pissed on Stella at the Dog then kicking the shit out of some unfortunate passer by down at the chippies.
Legend has it that Hitler didn’t bomb Bromsgrove during WW2 because he believed it to be a huge asylum and Lord HawHaw broadcast “Never venture to Bromsgrove for it is inhabited by lunatics and imberciles” I think they may of had a point.
nah like, wot u chattin? the grove is well good like, we got bear fings 2 do an we dont even get boverd by u neway so y u boverin?the park is sweet n we jus get clattered at little park an dont even always barry so wots the problem? better than the ditch like, bear chewy heads tht way enit! we like a few jars down the dog, stella is well good wen u chew on a few pills like, all the gays go 2 euph an r well gay so we let um know it enit, we never even go 2 mackies so y u like 2 fink tht i fink tht ur jus stupid is wot i fink, safe yeah