Ah, Harlow… a very strange place indeed. A small, poor town in Essex, geographically cut off from civilisation. This can very easily be seen in the faces of the genetically mutated cousins, brothers and sisters that inhabit the town centre (look carefully into their eyes!) – (..to locals – if you want to argue this point… swear to God that you’ve never had sex with one of your own family, ever… see…you know what I’m saying right?).

They even dress as twins in their Burberry outfits and gold chains. This social experiment should clearly be stopped. You cannot put travelling people in mass rows of terrace housing and call it a town. It is merely a massive static gypsy site with all of the problems that this brings. I know that this observation will provoke hostility, but that is very much in the nature of the people. Being completely unable to intelligently (or even logically) argue their point, they will swear, spit and punch you into submission if you so much as look at the Chavs in the wrong way or disagree with them.

I lived in Harlow for 12 months (moving from central Surrey) and actually got used to it for a while (even enjoyed it!!!!). I got used to eating in McDonald’s and seeing 13 year old mum’s throwing fucks and slaps into their children (for God’s sake don’t try to stop them – you’ll be smashed in the face with a big gold ring and stamped on). I even had my head shaved to blend in the the crowd. The accent was difficult to copy but you get the hang ov it in ve end dunnit, but no, but yer – shut up and vat you don’t no nuffink does yer?

If you look in the outer areas of this ‘town’ you can find some decent non-chav types.

Harlow, Essex, 3.3 out of 10 based on 8 ratings