I can’t claim to know Chavwich well, having only spent one night there ever, but how this festering boil on Essex’s wobbly backside has escaped getting onto this site already escapes me entirely.
Formerly a significant Channel port and minor holiday resort, Harwich has now been left for dead. It has a passable beach but can you get any decent fish there? Can you buggery. I suffered a dire battered cod straight out of a packet at a dive of a cafe that was about the only open place on Saturday lunchtime bar some well dodgy pubs I wouldn’t take my wife and kids in. It still had the posters up from the 70s (Knickerbocker Glory – still the height of sophistication you know).
But I digress. What of the chavs of Harwich, I hear you ask? f**k me, what a scruffy bunch. I have never seen such a load of divvy, hairy-chested pasty-faced beery lardarses. And the men were even worse…
I was in town on a business jolly so my family and I got to stay at the smartest hotel in town. (Not a wide open competition to be honest, but very nice it was). Inevitably, perhaps, we shared the place with the chavviest wedding you have ever seen.
The happy couple, Barry and Jodie – complete with Amber, Nikki, Sharlay, Nan Doris and 40 others of the kind that originally prompted Essex jokes crowded the place out, all standing around smoking and generally looking as rough as a badger’s arse after a bad curry.
Sadly I can’t report on the nightlife – I was out of town and my wife didn’t dare go out. Next day we went to Flatford, made famous by Constable’s The Hay Wain and loads of other paintings. Beautiful place, but ruined by the fat-arse big-’oop wearing chavettes going out for their annual day of culture.
Essex – everything you heard is true. And I’m typing this from my office in Nedhill, the only place I can think of that rivals it, watching the rain piss down outside. I could go on, but the urge to go and slash my wrists is starting to overpower me…
Its not very nice, not very nice at all so it is,Im a pensioner and I find it frightening living here,Ive been assaulted on many occasions,and I cant take much more,not much more at all,its killing me,their killing me,and nobody cares,Im just a nobody to them,someone they can laugh at and punch at will,and nobody will do anything about it,and all becouse I like dressing up as a women.Im a 79 year old transexual with a beard and Ive worked all my life as a self employed bun creamer,and nobody has any respect for me now Im old and wrinkled.
Harwich is quite nice, and I’d ask any if you reading this to consider the motivation of ‘exHarwich’ who ended up here after accidentally mistyping ‘pistonheads.com’ into his search engine.
ExHarwich, and the ‘let’s-have-go-at-writing-something’ original poster look down on all members of Harwich’s community, forgetting that they are nothing more than: degree-less, nouveau-riche, car-loving, Sun-reading, pieces of common s**t, who are only differentiated from those on the receiving end of their vicious tongues by their large manual-labouring income. ExHarwich would be better staying behind his mansion gates and continuing to contribute NOTHING to society quietly, rather than coming here to condemn Harwich’s community – f**king nobody.
i live in harwich, and just earlier today i was called a sket by a 9 year old. it is horrible by night, groups of drunks laughing about their s**tty lives on every street, and im surprised someone like me hasnt gon mental and killed everyone. there is a nice(ish) part called the vines, but the park is overrun by 10 year old s**ts who think they own the place.
What a knobjockey! A self-appointed travel writer who doesn’t even know what town that he is in! This ignoramus comes across as a bigger chav than those that he professes to despise, and he was ‘out of town’ on the night that he writes about! What a pathetic offering of drivel. My condolences also to the writer’s family for having to live with such a retard.
I think you have made a slight geographic cock up and mistaken Dovercourt for Harwich, the other contributors are correct; there is actually a distinct and real difference between the two. Dovercourt is essentially a boil on the anus of the universe, an utter pit of despair populated by half-bright-consumption junkies, fulfilled by nothing more than sportswear, low-rent reality TV and cheap Chinese imports. Dovercourt is dull, grotty, lacking in any architectural merit and generally in a state of decay and dilapidation. Harwich on the other hand is a different and more complex kettle of fish.
Old Harwich as it is known, at first glance appears a strange and paradoxical town, a mixture of attractive Georgian architecture, interspersed and smattered with grotesque 50s and 60s local authority buildings. The council buildings tend to house north east Essex’s deviant population, a gathering of serious drug users, incest prone families, professional alcoholics and a general mixed bag of miscreants, perverts, and pedophiles.
However there is another side to Old Harwich: Those who live in the dilapidated Georgian homes are a different bag altogether. In many ways they are far more disturbing, grotesque and un-human than the slum dwellers. Harwich over the last ten to fifteen years has slowly accumulated a rag-tag assembly of second rate Artists, failed intellectuals, actors, musicians and general bores. None of these people have any real tangible talent, recognizable outside of a s**tty, intellectually void, seaside town. The reason this group has congregated in Harwich is superiority. Most if not all of these people have spectacularly failed in life. The have come to Harwich as they can immediately be big fish in a small pond, looking down there collective noses at the local deviants and living there lives with a general air of smug superiority.
All in all Harwich and Dovercourt are both places to avoid like the plague. Post industrial s**t holes populated by freaks, perverts and deviants.
Presumably your nickname is linked to your perceived academic superiority, unfortunately you have failed to get to grips with your own prejudice or ignorance.
If you had travelled about 2 miles down to Old Harwich you will have visited one of the oldest towns in the UK with a huge number of listed buildings. You could have visited the maritime or lifeboat museum, seen the house where the captain of the Mayflower lived, visited one of the country’s best preserved Napoleonic forts or seen the Uks oldest purpose built cinema, had a trip in the harbour on a boat and visited what is regarded as being one of the finest fish restaurants on the whole of the east coast or gone in a number of fish and chip shops or pubs.
As for being a fading port like many coastal towns it has suffered due to the London centered tossery of people like you and the politicians, but it being one of the largest passenger ports in the UK with huge expansion plans is a bit much to describe the port as being on the way down. I also assume your idea of a passable beach has to exclude blue flag status. I would agree that things could be better but a lack of jobs and the need to travel to get anywhere means its not exactly Kensington. But never let fact get in the way of invective! I just feel sorry for your kids having a father that is blinkered and so unworldly.
Wrong town. You went to Dovercourt (which I grant is a little chavvy), not Harwich.