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Pontefract

Posted on: July 23rd, 2005 by admin 8 Comments

Well after reading a review on a previous town that i lived in, i thought it was injustice for pontefract not to have a review on its utter chavness!
After living in pontefract for the last 5 months i have discovered that there is something different about this town, not only does it have its usuall chavs with there citroen saxos and corsa’s, and can someone please inform them that by putting wheels on their car that dont fit and ruin the performance of their car, not that they had any performance in the first place, that they still look like complete tossers! Then to top it all of they think they look cool by playing dj sammy at a volume that would annoy the f**k out of any humanbeing! Yeah they all have there fake burberry hats, sometimes for the slightly better off chav a real one, although those have probably spent the last week mugging old grannys or burgaling peoples houses. The majority of them have children although the few that don’t have the excuse that they are on so many steroids that they cant get an erection!
Well the chavs in pontefract are quite fortunate, they have there very own nightclub! Somewhere they can go, get out of there faces on stella fo 80p a bottle and then beat the shit out of each other because some normal bloke tried to come onto a bird callled keighley. Yep the nightclub Kikos is the place to be if you want to chav it up big stlyee. Alternatively you could visit kikos little brother and go to Bar 12, this time you get mullered on stella for 99p and get some 14 year old pregnant at pontefract castle! Or if your a 12 year old chav you can always go to the malt shovel for your evenings lashings of ale, then have a good laugh as you and your chavy mates puke up all over each other outside.

So chavs of Pontefract why not try something different for a day. Instead of getting girls pregnant, taking drugs, or robbing people, why not GET AN EDUCATION AND JOB, STOP CREATING A CUE IN THE POST OFFICE FOR YOUR GIRO’S, AND STOP ANNOYING THE f**k OUT OF NORMAL PEOPLE!

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8 Responses

  1. Louise says:

    how dare you insult my town that i have grown up in, yes there is afew chavs put there has been very few teen pregnancys and the castle is not where they hang out. Go die if you are going to say that.

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  2. Andy says:

    Its obvious you haven’t got to know Pontefract and the other people in it. There are Chavs everywhere doing the same things all over Britain. But after 5 months in this once industrious and wonderful town then you have not got into the heart of Ponte and its people. Theres nowhere I know where a quiet pint doesn’t exist. My experience was reading my paper with a pint for 5 minutes and not remembering the rest but knew Id had a cracking night with no trouble and newly made friends after. Thats Ponte if you look for trouble wherever you go its there.

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  3. peterlover says:

    queue…..

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  4. Hannah says:

    omg u lived there for 5 months if you taken the time to get to no people you would have seen there is some decent people the live in pontefract and all people grow out of that stage where they want to hang about in cars and get reck ( at kikos) its part off the growing up stage.
    You only started slating pontefract because soneone did it to where you live. thats called tit4tat.
    Get a life and grow up

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  5. admin says:

    @Emma Have an official Chavtowns Gold Star for pedanticism!

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  6. Emma "Too posh to push" Kavanagh says:

    Alright lad,

    Just a few slight corrections vis-a-vis your above article.

    i = I, in common parlance we use the capital I to refer to the first person singular nominative.

    dont = doesn’t

    humanbeing = human being

    giro’s = giros, not referring to itself, but a plural

    CUE = QUEUE

    I’m sure there’s loads more. Get an education and stop ripping of Ponte, the hometown of my good friend Rachel “coppers” Copley.

    Regards

    EBK (esq)

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  7. makyD hi its me says:

    Yeah chop em with ze chainsaws man

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  8. retardedcamel says:

    dont u jus h8 them fuckin chavs that hang around on street corns lik little ho n rent boys!, me n my m8s wud love 2 cut them all up wit big chainsaws. the worst fin bout chavs is they cant afoord weed so they go 4 da next best fin, shit resin!!!!!!!!!
    wots da point! u fuckin murrpets get a life mayb bum ur perants as long as ur not on da streets!

    ps, any no-chavs pot smokes go 2 da Coutin House!!

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