The REAL Royston Vasey.
This collection of pit villages and bus shelters combines the desolation, hopelessness and black comedy of that fabled town on the moors.
You MUST be ‘Local’ to fit in.
For the Local Shop – go no further than ASDA.
This is the ubiquitous ‘Trading Post’ seen in wild west movies. Except instead of having to negotiate Indians, bandits and bank robbers you must try and get through a front entrance clogged with Coffin Dodgers, Charvers and poor f**kers in wheelchairs with that f**king bastard trolley thing clamped to the front. In short, a cloying, smelly, depressing Hell on Earth.
The charvers are so plentiful, spiteful and evil that they remind you of Orcs and Goblins from Middle Earth. Instead of fighting over carrion, they squabble over Lambrini and ‘Tabs’
STANLEY HAS NO REDEEMING FEATURES AT ALL.
It is the fluff down the bum crack of the North East. Stanley is the fly in the ointment of some of the most wonderful countryside in England and the best thing to do is avoid the f**king place. Even Consett has more going for it than this midden.
The highlight in the existence of the poor non-Orcs in this town is the contruction of a bus station.