SHAW AND ROYTON
Adjacent to the classy town of OLDHAM (No comment,I’m taking the 5th amendment on that one)
Two insignificant pondlife hellholes with very little to recommend them,apart from the roads out!
Think total hatred? Man U.v.Man C,Villa.v.Birmingham,Sheff U.v.Sheff W,Portsmouth.v.Southampton?
Then think again,Shaw.v.Royton is serious Premier League.
The pettiness of the local populace goes back to Victorian times,when the worthies of Royton designed the Town Hall clock tower without a clock face on the side facing Shaw,so the Shaw Gawbies (Local term of abuse,linked with the saying regarding Warburton’s bread “Warbies,baked in Shaw by Gawbies”
Shopping in both towns is an elevating experience.In Shaw the pondlife descend on ace class shop Woolworths,to buy discounted rap cd’s,whereas in Royton,the 10 pack frozen pizzas
from Iceland draw the crowds.
Needless to say both towns boast a branch of “Bargain Booze”,selling alcopops and cheap strong cider to the local hoodie chav scum,who have ASBOs banning them from all the pubs.
Nightlife in both Royton and Shaw is singularly upmarket.
Class act in Royton is the “Railway”,featuring crap entertainment,the Railway is full of loud chavettes with hooped earrings,Over-short skirts and thongs,displaying their fat (Mac Donalds fuelled) arses.
The Royton scum also go to “The Summit”,near where the “Millionaire” footballers of Oldham Athletic live,so the feel they are hob nobbing with “class”.
On the other hand Shaw boasts the “Blue Bell” where the chav scum clutter up the bar area,whilst the pensioners cringe quietly in the corners with their roll-ups.
One thing Shaw and Royton have in common is their mutual hatred.No male from one town dare set foot in the other for fear of having the s**t kicked out of them for stealing “their girls”
Shaw has the edge,purely because it has a railway station to take you to the comparative sanity of Manchester in 15 minutes.Royton gives you the option of a bus to Rochdale…….Another tale altogether!