"I cannot believe that on a site dedicated to the Chav, no mention is made of Scotland’s second city: Glasgow. A city that represents the very cradle of life for the Scottish Ned, when it comes to unattractive social behaviour; what Glasgow is to Scotland, the USA is to the rest of the world. Nedism isn’t a strata of society in Glasgow it is a way of life. Thousands of children from before they are even born are inculcated with what is known as "The Tao of the Ned." Indeed, their very conception is rooted in that ethos.
Jaundiced babies swaddled in burberry romper suits become spotty toddlers that are taught the rudiments of shoplifting. These children are no less loved by their parent, after all who couldn’t love a child that represents a skeleton key for all that the social security has to offer. Housing, free money, milk tokens (Fresh or powdered?) income support and Brew money to name but a few.
On reaching double figures, (some would argue, on reaching an age beyond which the common ned cannot count.) Our young oik leaves its chrysalis form and spreads its pallid malnutrated bekappa’d arms and embraces the world with one hand and a bottle of buckfast with the other. Already well advanced in the art of anti-social behaviour but at this time not brave enough to leave the grounds in which it grew up. The Ned goes forth into its housing estate and begins the time honoured ‘Ritual of the Young Ned.’ Adding to the already over flowing heaps of broken buckfast bottles, increasing Scotland’s teenage pregnancy rates not to mention the proliferation of sexually transmitted diseases, throwing stones or bottles or anything that comes to hand toward anything that comes within site. All this coupled with a volatile unreasonable attitude. Making decent hardworking citizen’s life miserable is the hallmark of the classic Glasgow ned.
But what sets the Glasgow Ned apart? Imagine a genetically enhanced Cyborg Ned, increased durability, no concept of fear and a level of solipsism hitherto unknown in history. Bright white trainers (mugged of a Bearsden victim,) socks with bright white shellsuit bottoms tucked into them, (both shoplifted from JJB or possibly Poundstretchers depending on the class of ned,) a Ben Sherman top, (courtesy of Topman although not necessarily paid for) and a tracksuit top, (not necessarily matching, shoplifting being a quixotic activity.) All this topped off with a baseball cap, a fag cupped in the hand and a steady stream of foul language with possibly a nedette on one or both arms to serve as a carrier for all of the Alpha-neds STD’s.
These are dangerous creatures and must not be approached, on Sauchiehall Street or in the suburbs (except maybe Kelvinside where they all pretend to be from Edinburgh) There is no safe haven! From the Maryhill Massif to the Shettleston Young Team: BEWARE! The only possible defense is a machine gun, which are freely available in most of Glasgow’s Cash Generators.
Of course, to be completely safe, Edinburgh is a much nicer city with a far more civilized and cultured populace. Even our neds are polite, the one draw back is that the beggars expect a note instead of a coin…"
I love how no one in Glasgow cares about the rest of Scotland. You’ve got a massive chip on your shoulder about us weegies, yet none of you register on our radar. Its the same every town I go to.
I laughed at the rest of the comments, but see what I mean – we’re all a bunch of useless cunts – long live Scotland! I love you all – weegie or teuchter, highlander or islander! Let the banter roll on…
Well….It just goes to show how ignorant and discriminating Scottish people can be towards fellow scots.We all share the same heritage beliefs and culture.Edinburgh is a world heritage site and tourist attraction whereas Glasgow is a real gritty industrial city with a variety of different socio economic problems but also city of great architecture and innovation.Both have negative and positive elements.Economics taught me that two thirds of Scotlands poor live in Glasgow. However poverty doesn’t make you a bad person, a hostile attitude towards others based on pre conceived prejudice does. So maybe if we change our prejudices(attitudes) towards fellow scots regrdless of city,religion, football teams, snobberry we can all live in a better more educated and integrated tolerant society which flies the Scottish flag. Remember eveywhere has its share of problems and people can make a positive change in their attitudes to each other and how a culture and place is perceived by maintaining a balanced perspective.Both city’s have positive and negative qualities its no competition.Be proud you are Scottish.
Whit ye talkin aboot ya mad bawbag.
I cant believe the edinburgh guy is so far up his own arse to think that edinburgh is some sort of utopia and Glasgow a hellhole.
As i’m sure most people will testify, both cities have their nice areas and not so nice areas, same goes for people. To tar all the people of Glasgow with the same brush is simply stereotypical, and very narrow minded.
Dear dirty weegie scum,
Please remain in your city of squalor.
Thank you.
Kind regards,
The rest of Scotland
Sir I would like to say f**k you! have you ever been to glasgow if you are ever in glasgow then don’t just go to the shitholes thinking you are some sort of tough guy. Why don’t you try visiting the west or the art gallerys? why don’t you go n see the student life in glasgow or go to the film festival you ignorant man
And dam proud of it!
Glasgow – one of the funniest places on earth, how many comedians do you get from Edinburgh?
Remember to be in bed for 11pm and have the Horlicks and your hot water bottle ready when you come home from Choir lessons.
We’ll be out all night – living in a proper party city.
Where was Trainspotting set?
Set in Edinburgh, but apart from a few shots of Princess Street and Calton Road it was filmed entirely in Glasgow.
It might be shot mostly in Glasgow, but the characters are meant to be drug addicts from Edinburgh (though Begby was definitely a Glasgow nut) – I think that’s what LA’s referring to. Either way, both cities (& most other cities in Scotland, the UK, the rest of the world) have their shitty areas, their posh areas & their bastard scum people – whether those bastard scum are the richer or the poorer folk depends on each place also. Basically we’re all a bunch of cunts to each other & if we all tried to be a little bit nicer, maybe the world would be less f**ked up. Very optimistic & naive, eh?!
Scotlands 2nd city?its the first ya fuckin dafty,its got the largest population ya mad teuchter!Just cause yer the capital ye think yer the 1st?Wit a fuckin joke eh.Edinburgh is pure shite an ye’s look yer nose doon oan anycunt thats an ootsider(unless its a shitebag who’s afraid tae even look it ye!),canny even ask fur directions cuase yer aww a buncha pansies and run away,ya wanks!thats fae personal experience.grow a set of baws and get aff yer fuckin high horse before a cut its fuckin legs aff an batter ye wae them ya wee jizz stain.
Who you trying to kid, Edinburgh is a big steaming pile of heroin infested shit! The only safe place to be in that dump is the castle, fending of wave after wave of junkie attacks.
Actually if you examine all the information avaialable (feel free to a search on the net) you will discover that the city of Glasgow is significantly poorer, has greater levels of poverty, unemployment, chronic health problems and drug addiction.
Please think before you post such an ignorany misinformed rant.
I suggest that if you yourself use all available information you will find though Glasgow does indeed have greater levels of poverty and unemployment, Edinburgh holds the mantle for chronic health problems and drug addiction, not to mention arse banditry, you f**king prick.