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Saffron Walden, unlikely candidate

Posted on: May 16th, 2006 by admin 4 Comments

Saffon Walden, lying near the Essex / Cambridgeshire border, was recently labelled the best place to live in Britain. It is indeed a pleasant town… until dusk.

This remnant of Olde England is now heavily polluted by chavs, who take over the town’s pubs and cause such trouble at chucking-out time that the local police (all two of them) turn out in force.

The Fighting Temeraire, a pub named after Turner’s classic painting, was renamed “The Temeraire” out of embarrassment of the owners, alchopop-pushers Wetherspoons.

Favourite haunt of the chavs and oiks is the ABC burger bar, a dismal place run by people of questionable nationality. On Saturday nights, even if blood hasn’t been shed, the street outside is left with enough litter to fill a warship.

Aggression levels are not helped by the presence of squaddies from nearby Carver Barracks. But even they are no match for the local scum when fully lagered.

After a lardburger from the ABC they go and breed on the Common.

And to think… this is “THE BEST PLACE TO LIVE IN BRITAIN”.

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Saffron Walden, unlikely candidate, 6.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating

4 Responses

  1. saffronwaldenchav says:

    i would like to see you say that to the owners of abc i rele would coz u wouldnt be goin home that night well if u call the hospital home than u would

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  2. pywacket says:

    I do not appreciate that racist comment! How dare you say this about saffron Walden, Harlow is much worse! But of course you probably know that and that is why you have written this post!

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  3. stanstedblud says:

    well id just like to say that the WALDENITES (lol wot a name) should take care of themselves and keep the police happy by staring at a potato at 1 in the morning.

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  4. spikedcunt says:

    if u want violence and chavs , come 2 haverhill get a right good kicking here ,

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