Wokingham may well not be 100% chav yet, but it is certainly on the way down towards the ranks of Dover and Croydon. Let me tell you about my school, the beautiful St. Crispins with its bright yellow outdoor decor. 2004, I had a german exchange partner over in england. I was witness to a very very strange thing. For some reason, the obvious ‘Heil hitler’ shouts and nazi salutes that generally occupy the school during german Exchange week had got a bit boring. Thusforth, about 45 chavs formed a very large circle around our little area of benches and proceeded to hurl stones and 2p coins at us for what must have been a solid 5 minutes. Obviously we managed to shelter inside eventually, but it is a genuinely scary sight. it was funny though because some of the chavettes fancied my german exchange guy and proceeded to flirt with him in a way only a chavette can (Top practically undone, attempted sexy voice).

Another thing that has recently been in national news was that a boy in my year (10) was stabbed. A year 9 boy had brought a kitchen knife in from school and proceeded to stab this boy twice in the back. When he turned around, he got 2 stabs in the face. Also, my school recently produced a double murderer. he murdered 2 boys in an alley at night. That was f**ked up.

Another strange thing is that chavs smaller than normal people appear to have become over-confident. I was walking home from scool one day wioth a group of 6 friends to have some little year 7 shit and his amazingly short and fat friend throw a pen at my head. I thought nothing of it and walked on. Only to have a stone thrown at my head. that was it. i turned round and shouted ‘What the f**k was that in aid of!?’. The dirty little crap said to me ‘Yoo fuckin know why yoo fuckin daft c**t. You wont look so pretty tomorrow unlike yer mum’ ETC. So we went our separate ways and i got home unscathed. Next day, i’m walking home. This little guy is Half-Cast so he thinks he has an excuse for this. He runs (or waddles, my f**king god he was fat) up to my friend, pushing him and calling him a racist. We all shouted him ‘He didn’t f**king do anything!!’ So he eventually f**ked off. next thing i knew, he jumped out of an alley and doused me in Panda Pop, the biggest chav drink and nastiest sugary syrup shit sold.

I was satisfied though, because tomorrow someone had told on him for something and i saw him on litter picking duty at lunch and after school.