Maybe it’s me remembering a peaceful place for family holidays when I was a kid in the ’70s, maybe it’s because my ancestry goes back to the late 17th century in and around St Ives (no, chavsters, I’m not posh, it’s just that someone has researched it and put it on the net), maybe it’s that things were always like this and I never noticed….
NAAH f**k it.
The truth is that the whole of frigging Cornwall has become chavved up something chronic. Everywhere you go, lardy white bellies (shortly to become the colour of lobsters because the silly little twats never learn do they?), acne, fast food, Croydon facelifts and all the paraphernalia of chavdom largin’ it up on holiday like.
To be fair, there is no shortage of domestic pikeys in Cornwall, as the following will show.
I just had a week-long holiday in Looe and really enjoyed it. Only trouble is what should be a genteel, mid-market resort for families has been taken over by teenage prats, both local and tourist, so forget sleep if you have a room by the main street.
Choice incident: in broad daylight in mid-afternoon in front of hordes of visitors, just outside Boot’s on the main drag, about six chavvy teenagers and others, stripped to the waist with limbs like pipecleaners flailing about pile into one other teenager screaming abuse, kicking, punching etc.
So far, so normal, but get this – a screaming harridan comes out of Boots to urge them on, IN HER BOOTS UNIFORM, another skinhead is giving a running commentary on his mobile and/or videoing it. One kicking later, Mum goes back to the till at Boots and chief thug spits “You messed with the wrong family” to shaken victim and they all pile into their enormous great Chelsea tractor and drive off (it was a Renault Espace, reg M 272 UMM in case any of the Old Bill give a s**t ha ha ha).
You have to wonder what this country is coming to you really do.
What – are we showing you up for the tosspots you are. I am hideously motivated, in a pavlovian dog way, to sing the music from the muppet show whenever I see a particular type of person – and they all look like you pasty king
I am originally from Cornwall but I have lived in London since childhood and I am now back here. I am horrified by the racism, sexism, homophophia and general bigotry I encounter every day.Not only by the aged or my age but by the young and young adults who should be better educated about such things. I also abhor the Cornish refusal to pay anything but minimum wage and their very real belief that they are doing YOU a favour by giving you a job and you should touch your forelock in gratitude. Cornwall is 50 years behind everywhere else in employment law failing to give workers their right holiday pay and getting away with it because everyone is too s**t scared to make a fuss because they fear they will lose their job. Their employers sack them without fear of reprisal because they know their employees are all to stupid to do anything about it and there are loads more idiots who will work for nothing.
Unfortunately, I live near to Redruth (at least it’s not Camborne (or Stillborn as I like to call it)and at night its like Shaun of the Dead. The Zombies are out in force surging to the cash machine to take out their hard earned unemployment and straight into discount drinks/budget beer/or whatever it’s called. It’s bad enough during the day as you veer round the brawling drunks and young fat people on sticks. I have been told there is a pandemic among the Cornish called the ‘Cornish Miasma’. Experts believe it is caused by the combinatiion of pasties,hevva cake and cider and excaberbated by the Cornish hills and slopes. It causes relatively young people to bloat enormously and need sticks to help them along. I am worried about the incubation period and whether I might catch it but apparently it has a long incubation period of 25 or so years so I will be safe a while yet. Hopefully, I will have moved back to London by then where wages are fair, people are used to all races and sexual preferences and show at least some kind of tolerance and the police aren’t in bed with the more affluent inbreeds that run their own businesses and exploit the dim.
You lot should f**king go back to where you came from. Cornwall was fine til youlot came ere
Cornwall a charming place,as you will find out if you buy my book called The History of Cornwall a Treasure to Behold.(price £14.99)Ive lived in Cornwall for over 73 years,and have researched the history,theres nothing I dont know about dear old Cornwall.Fly fishing was first invented in Cornwall in 1783 by a well known notorious poacher called Fredrick Holmes,he was hanged in 1800 by the local land owner Sir Delvers Dasterly,for poaching eggs in Holmes forest in the north of Cornwall.He was drawn and quartered and his body thrown into Dasterlys private pond which was stocked with 5 feet long pike,half pike half Chinese catfish,now extinct.The ghost of Holmes is still said to be seen by people to this day,hes seen with no arms or legs and the head of a hidious grinning pike,floating in the air 2 feet off the ground.Another local celebrity was Jake(the pug)Rennalds,born in 1902 on Delvert farm,(cream makers to the king)He invented candy floss,after a hard life as a farm labourer,one day after a heavey drinking session of the local scrumpy,he fell asleep and dreamt about pink clouds floating across the sky in Cornwall.On awakening with a hang over,he went to his kitchen and poured sugar and flour into his masters washing machine thinking it was washing powder.This to his amazment turned into a fluffy substance,that which we now call Candy floss,by adding ground dried blackberrys for colour,hed relised hed invented a new eatable fancy product.He first sold Candy floss in Cornwall,then peddled by penny farthing with a trailer all along the coasts of Britian selling it.By the age of 23 he was Cornwalls first millionaire.Pasties,another great Cornwall invention,by local Jeffery Pastie,born 1856.A preacher by proffesion, and some say paedofile for his liking for small alter boys,thow this was never proved.He invented pasties as a cheap food for poor folk,cheap but filling ingrediants,all incased in a pastry,in a handy pocket size,that could be eaten hot or cold.As all people from Cornwall know,the old saying spoken by locals refering to Jeffery Pastie and his holy pastie.”the devil will nay come to Cornwall for fear of being put into a Jeffery pasty”I could talk for ages about Cornwall,I have thousands of true, thow some times strange tales about Cornwall,which are all in my book,including,Jesus was born in Cornwall,(before being kidnapped)Cottaging a queer Cornwall tale.Cornwalls towns hunchback invented the first wheel in 1675.Hitlers twin gay brother,hid in Cornwall dressed as a women.The first sex change,Cornwall 1897,after local oyster farmer caught his penis in a milk churning machine.Bun racing.Ear flogging.Slipper burning 1856.The crab catapult, invented by Sir Keith Moon,1834,used to devestating effect in the first world war.And many many more.
I lived here for 24 years.And yes it is f**king awful here.People in cornwall have rose tinted glasses on half the time.Ohh there are lots and lots of small inbred minds in lostwithiel.
I have lived in cornwall all my life, i live in a town very near to looe and am in year 10 at school. I am NOT a chav and will admit that there are many around, however there are everywhere, and I’m very offended that anyone would judge the whole population of cornwall on a few people. I spend a lot of my summer in looe with my friends, and feel quite safe. Don’t get me wrong, there are some pretty ruff places and pretty rough people, but there are some lovely places too that should be appreciated. Don’t get me mistaken for someone who is blind to whats around them and never gets out because i do, I know the people who are involved in drugs ect but at the end of the day i feel relatively safe in my area and am proud of cornwall! There are people and places that are best kept away from everywhere, no better, but no worse either, don’t let small minded people put you off this beautiful part of england. and i would love to point out I am neither posh or poor, I live in a normal house and go to my normal, local secondary school and go camping for my holidays and have normal friends – just so you don’t label me as anything but normal
I have lived in Cornwall all my life and I would say the only bad places are St Austell, Launceston, Helston and Redruth/Camborne. I live in Newquay and have never been hassled by chavs, nor has anyone I know. Compare Cornwall to Bradford, Sc**thorpe, etc. and you will realise how wrong you are.
iv got family in hayle and thay all inbread just like every1 els up there it ant chavs thats the problem its every1 thats the problem
razzor you are a proper cornish mupet
This has made my day. I thought I was the only person who felt this way about Cornwall. Everyone else seems to have this mythical view about the place being lined with Palm Trees and and full of happy, healthy, good looking people, with the Gulf Stream making the place ‘Tropical’.
I spent a year living in St Austell and it was the worst year of my life. The summer completely missed us out. It rained at least 85% of the time. The Sun must have gone there once and vowed never to return to such a f**king dive.
I can’t even think where to begin with describing the bad things. Just about every aspect of it is worse than terrible.
The girls and just people in general are easily the ugliest I’ve ever seen. There is no sign of intelligence in their eyes, which they love to have a good stare at you with, because you’re an outsider.
The town comes to ‘life’ at around 9-10am, when the Weatherspoon’s and the post office opens. All you see if herds of very badly made people limping about, bumping into each other in a daze of stupidity. Fashion is at least 10 years behind, but random things from the more evolved world have found themselves there, like emo hair styles on 60 year old women.
The most annoying thing about Cornwall and people from there, is that for some completely unknown reason, they have it in their heads that they are somehow better than people from the rest of England/then world. I genuinely have no idea where this idea has come from. The only thing good to come from there is the Ice Cream. WOW. f**king Ice Cream. What a mark on the world you have made.
I don’t need to waste time mentioning the things already said, about the unemployment, inbreeding, and young pregnancies. Them points have been made and are so true. It just baffles me a bit how they can be sexually attracted to each other enough for this to happen. But then I consider the abundance of cheap pubs and high alcohol content Ciders.
I have more to say, but I am starting to feel sick thinking about the place. Might be back on here soon.
cornish are not called WHITE ****S for nothing!!!
scum of the earth. i have never met such gutless inbred bastards anywhere else. they also produce pig ugly women who sit around all day eating fat bought from icelands.
the allan family from st austell number 1600 in a town of 20000(st austell), biggest bunch of pikey sister f**kers going.
i hate them so much i bought a holiday home there and leave it empty, just because i can.
i couldn’t tell you i have never been tricked at home or at work. i hang up or don’t answer. Caller ID is great
This just has to be the most hilarious series of comments yet! Razzor?, You should be writing comedy scripts or be on the radio with that type of stuff! Keep it going guys, this is the funniest series I read in a long time.
I grew in Lostwithiel and it was full of chavs even back then, some 17 years back, however we used to call them Kevs.
I don’t think they are chavs in the true sense of the word. Cornish towns rarely have housing estates like you see in major cities. Actually these yobs are just the local inbreeds, and they have been there forever.
I’m Cornish, from Lostwithiel. I haven’t lived the for 9 years. This is a really ignorant post. Not all of Cornwall is like that. No more than any where else. Also I’ve never experienced such racism as I have since living in a multi cultural city (bristol) from all races.I’m far from chavvy. I’m very well educated and not well off. I’m definitely not racist and my parents were hippies that despised any ignorance. I’m alternative looking…big blue mohawk and piercings. I’ve always been alternative and have grown up round it too. To class they whole of Cornwall like that is ridiculous. I enjoyed growing up in Cornwall. Most people don’t choose to live where they do or not be in work, The reality is they can’t afford to buy houses because everyone buying second homes down there and the unemployment is so high because of the lack of jobs. My friend has to live in a trailor because she can’t afford a house. Her firm lost work because of cheap labour in the far east. The hilarity of your posts is that you’re being more ignorant than anyone mentioned in your posts by judging others from first glance.
Lol- I well and truthfully pissed myself inside laughing when I read this first comment from ‘razzor’
..Are they so completely dumb?? They just proved this post to be true not only through the angry chavy immature attempt to challenge it but the crappy spelling such as ’3rdly’ I mean COME ON YOU SAD LITTLE MORON.. Its spelt thirdly, yes its wrong to stereo-type people in Hayle and put them all in the same category, but my way of disagreeing with this post wouldn’t have been through swearing and incorrect chavy spelling that comes across unintelligent.. I would have said something along the lines of, there are people like this everywhere in Britain and the UK as you can see by this website practicly every town is featured and has reviews. Although i somewhat disagree and believe Hayle not to be as dramatic as you make out.
Hayle is a s**thole, as is Penzance, Redruth (dead ruff), Camborne (Cambodia), and most of the towns here.
I live here, and, on a daily basis, have to put up with Cornish folk, who are backwards, racist and stupid….
If it was not for the ‘outsiders’ who have moved from ‘up country’, then nothing would get done in this county.
All the decent folk left when the mines shut down years ago, the only people left behind were the stupids, and years of inbreeding between the stupids have left a race so stupid, that there is not a word in the English dictionary to describe just how stupid they are!
They are actually that stupid, that they think Straw Dogs is a documentary!
And look at the Cornish terrorists!!
They make the Keystone Cops seem competant!!!!!
Well, im off to clean the webs between my fingers…………….
@ gaz
now thats edging into rasicm… :L
razzor: If everyone from Hayle is as intellectually challenged as you, God help it’s future.
I am from Cornwall, I grew up in Penzance, and I visit regularly. Unfortunately people like you are dragging small Cornish towns to their knees.
Get an education, learn to talk, spell and punctuate properly, get into employment, then come back and challenge the article in a more articulate and reasonable way.
ur a fukin looser aint u gt anyting bettah 2 do accept frm make s**t up bout towns lol u obv aint bn here so FUK OFF
Wow. You really do the Cornish towns a service by letting your thoughts come out. Are you mental or retarded or a moron? I think so.
Don’t worry you inbreed your sister will be along soon to give you your daily medicine of trying to suck the poison out of your very small penis.
wtf u dnt no s**t bout hayle den do u!
1stly not all da girls munted
2ndly i dnt no 1 girl under da age ov 16 2 hve a kid in hayle
3rdly nt evry 1 r dumb c**ts probli like ur self if u tink hayle iz a fuked up place!!!
u f**kin twat
@razzor
to be honest i think your incomprehensible webspeak proves his point :L
im cornish and do agree with this to an extent – there is a dangerous amount of chavs about!
Before you type anything that is published on the internet, go back to school and learn to read and write.
You are clearly an inbreed freak who’s parents are bother and sister, or your a f**king pikey. Either way you do not deserve to live. If i meet u in the street I’d put you down like a dumb rabid dog.
I think that it is a fair and just statement about cornwall.
i moved here some years ago and as a white british citezen i thought i would never expereince rasicm. But i have and on quite a few occasions, because we are English. Let me get one thing straight for all the Cornish people who live in the times of English Rule.
I am a British Citezen the same as you i hold the same driving License and the same passports, we are not to blame for the fact the you cannot afford a house about half of the whole of the uk cannot afford a house, so again this is not our fault. if you want to blame someone blame the goverment or write to your MP. Dont vandalise my car put nails in my tyres and tell us to fu*k off back up country. in all fairness i know some very nice Cornish People but not many. be nice we all have to live together.
we are trying our hardest to leave cornwall and i have one peice of advice for anyone who wants to live here, DONT.Dont even come on holiday here because if they see you as english they will be rude to you and even scratch your cars.(I HAVE SEEN THIS)For all the decent people of cCornwall whatever you nationallity this statement is not aaimed at you and if i have caused any offence to decent people i appologise. this is aimed at imbred, backward,racist,ork bastards who have as much decency as paedo pondlife scum .