Right… I’ve got ten minutes to get everything I want to say off of my chest before I need to head back out (I’ve just this moment registered), so I’ll make this quick.
I firmly believe that New Malden has reached the lowest level of Chavdom ever seen in a UK suberb.
You can’t even walk to the end of your own fucking road without the usual “Oi mate, gissa cigarette!” or (14yo girl asking) “Can you run in that shop for me and get me a £5.99 litre bottle of Kirov vodka?”.
The cheeky fuckers often go one step further by trying their luck with “Gissa fag before I blough(?) you in the face”. Fuck off you cunt-faced bollock-eyed walking piss-flap… if you’re going to try and mug me at least have the dignity to go for my I-Pod.
It fucks me off the way that I’m going out and working hard to pay for these scrotes, who will no doubt be scrounging off of everybody for the rest of their lives. All they do is ponse and all they will ever do is ponse.
It make you wonder where the parents are, doesn’t it???
I’ll tell you where they are… sitting at home on the Cabridge Estate watching Kilroy, smoking dope and eating their favourite ASDA’s microwave meals.
All the parents ever told them was that they were educationaly subnormal, and that the best thing they could ever do with their lives was to find a scrote that sells enough weed each week to buy them Elizabeth Duke ear-rings for their birthday and get them up the duff, thus allowing them to sponge benefits off of Kingston Counil and get their very owm flat on the Cambridge Estate… or the equally notorious Cambridge Gardens.
What a life!
It really does make me wonder just where this nation is heading… as this generation of Chavs and Chavettes start breeding faster than sewer rats without a thought of who exactly is going to fund their spawn.
I blame the government myself for allowing them to sponge.
I used to live around that area,but moved to somerset some 15 years ago. I have fond memories of New malden, but I have never been back. Some parts of Somerset are hardly better ,but the chav’s know thier place and leave the good folk alone.
Comfortabl y, the post is really the sweetest on this notable topic. I suit in with your conclusions and will eagerly look forward to your upcoming updates. Just saying thanks definitely will not simply be sufficient, for the phenomenal lucidity in your writing. I will certainly directly grab your rss feed to stay abreast of any updates. De lightful work and much success in your business endeavors!
i know a hottie who lives there. she is is stunning looks a bit like sasha from hollyoaks, great rack ………..nic e legs and her ass is awesome.. So New Malden is ok in my book
I think you are being a bit harsh and certainly very cynical. I’ve probably lived in New Malden for a relatively short period of time (about 9 months) and I admit that I live on the opposite side of town to the Cambridge Estate/Kingston Road area, but I really don’t think that the town in general is all that bad. Yes, it has it’s fair share of well-fed Waynetta’s, hanging out of their stretched vest tops as they stock-up on Kerry Katona special meals in Iceland with a litter of kids in tow and one or two gormless, grey faced Wayne’s who’ve managed to drag themselves away from “Call of Duty 3″ to stand on the steps outside the Fountain Pub and suck on a ciggie, but the high street is certainly not over-run and I haven’t seen too many gangs of trackie bottomed, gobby hoodies loitering outside the shops (although, perhaps since Woolworths closed, they have been cast adrift?). Generally the area seems to be dominated by hardworking families who for the most part are polite and friendly and take pride in the town. Perhaps I have been lucky not to have too many runs in with the local swamp life or perhaps I have become cocooned in the neat little enclave of tree lined roads where I live, with it’s well tended front gardens and (mostly) considerate neighbours and I should venture up Kingston Road to experience this other side of New Malden?
I could not agree more, these chavvie bastards are spreading into Kingston and heading west on the A3, Guildford is going downhill rapidly as these scumbags hang out at the back of the shopping centre, but New Malden is drowning in a sea of chav scum, you only have to look past the fountain island to see the low life awaiting the 131 or 213 to come along and bus them (free to them taxed to fuck for us) back to their low life council blocks on the Cambridge estate, although that seems to be full now so some scum are being kept in clover on Charter Quay.
When going past the Cambridge Estate all you would need really is a snatch land rover to give it full disaster status, although to try and compare it to Northern Ireland in the 1980s is unfair to Ireland these days! I noted just past the Cambridge Estate that the African Families Support association has moved into ‘offices’ there opposite the eastern European car was, as sure sign that the tax payer locally is about to be milked for more by the barmy Liberals in the name of fairness!
Try going to africa and setting up an association in the name of fairness, you ball will be wired up to a car battery before you can say the words state benefits and the prick from the local embassey will be sat picking his ass telling you he cannot help!
So New Malden is going down the pan, the local Liberal democrats have helped it on its decline to full chavvie status by doing the usual crap polician thing of pandering to a few minorities, bringing in a few more chavs and generally bringing areas down to the lowest level they can, but dont worry they will be fighting for your fair share right up to the point the world comes to an end in a sea of DKNY and bling!
If you see New Malden on the A3, keep going and head to Wandsworth!
Why is this under West London? (Or is it the closest thing to South-West London).
2010 and Kingston Road is still a chav-fest .. probably worse due to the economic conditions and free travel for younger scrotes. I recently had to advise a couple who were looking to move to New Malden. I simply told them to take 3 buses from Wimbledon/Kingston at various times of the day and night – 131, 213, 57 and their nightly variants – and make their mind up. They said the 131 was invariably full of scum or police escorts (and i’ve seen them during the day .. love the way the young chavs scarper quietly when plod gets on the bus), the 213 was okay, and the 57 was full of decent working folk coming back from a hard day at work or a night out in town.
Myself – fortunately i’ve only bumped into a few of the inbred f8ckers at the revamped Co-operative – they are ill-mannered, lack any verbal intelligence, but i feel sorry for them because when i look into their eyes as they abuse me for a minor indiscretion (like not getting out of their way) i see the emptiness, apathy, no sense of purpose .. they really are the great social and economic cancer of this age.