Stafford truly is the new Crewe – plus some. Perhaps due to its close rail proximity and the lack of fare checking en-route the Chavtastic culture has taken Stafford by storm. Swelled by ranks of illegal immigrants and ‘bag head’ H addicts from across the country stepping down in Stafford is like entering a parrallel universe.

It’s always been a scummy old hole full of local authority housing and sportswear wearing ‘mooks’ but in recent years there’s been an explosion in knob head culture.

Cruise Stafford’s very own promenade on a weekend from The Grapes and Zanzibar to the all night Supermarket right next door to the homeless shelter past the ‘keeybab shop’ and you’ll see an array of pointless sub-human chavs representing every single sub-genre from neanderthal rough chav with holed shell suit and filthy trainers to smart Burberry Boy. Be sure to check out the local ‘talent’ – hefty hunnies with that famous “Stafford Ass” and emaciated scrawny underfed childlike teens with too much make up applied by their pissed mates hurredly before stumbling out on the street.

Be sure to place STAFFORD on your Chav safari route. You can make a day of it and visit the rural chav reserves of Uttoxeter and Cheadle or visit Alton Towers to witness the greatest migratory chav gathering in the world.

Keep it real. Keep it Chav. Keep it Staffordstyley….waaayyyyy mate

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