Huntingdon, a corner of Cambridgeshire that is forever chavland. This town, regails itself in its history of being Oliver Cromwells home town and if you listen carefully as the bottles fly in the market square on a Friday night you can hear the sound of his bones creak as he spins in his grave.
This was once a nice place, a mid-sized market town that 40 years ago had London’s overspill deposited up the A1 and into the concentration camped housing estate known as the Oxmoor. This estate now nestles into the side of the town like a cancer, sucking the life right out of the area. It’s one of those ghettos that councils stuck up to justify quoto’s without realising that 30 years down the line, the pedestrian flyover would be used like a Baghdad sniper hole to launch bricks down on cars and buses. That quaint path with nice hedging would be the perfect piss and/or vomit point on the way back from the Lord Protector pub.
On a Saturday afternoon as I walk through the town centre I play a game of spot the Oxmoron just to calm myself that the inbreeding has held true in the town and the genes are not diluting too much to the surrounding population. There they are, cheap tracksuits dodging into Argos. The guy with the pit-bull and bad skin going into Peacocks with his fat tattooed missus. The fog of smoke around the exit to Sainsbury’s as the Oxmoor lifers thank f**k they don’t have to suffer anymore clean air that they struggle through when doing the half hour shopping without a cancer stick. I smile at the shop security guard as he tries to hold back the sea of theft with a two-way radio and a dodgy uniform.
On a Saturday afternoon as I walk through the town centre I play a game of spot the Oxmoron just to calm myself that the inbreeding has held true in the town and the genes are not diluting too much to the surrounding population. There they are, cheap tracksuits dodging into Argos. The guy with the pit-bull and bad skin going into Peacocks with his fat tattooed missus. The fog of smoke around the exit to Sainsbury’s as the Oxmoor lifers thank f**k they don’t have to suffer anymore clean air that they struggle through when doing the half hour shopping without a cancer stick. I smile at the shop security guard as he tries to hold back the sea of theft with a two-way radio and a dodgy uniform.
This town has been absolutely f**king ruined by the disease of Chavdom. Friday and Saturday nights are a no go area in the town, the streets ring with the sound of ‘fukkin ell u wanka” and the laugh of underage slags wanting a bit of chav cock. An order by the police to stop groups congregating in the market square hasn’t worked, maybe a 20 foot high wall around the Oxmoor estate would.
Spot on description, glad to be a hundred miles from the place. Shame it’s not further away. The inhabitants of this place are scum of the lowest order. Plebian scum to be precise- it is a shame we do not have amphitheatres in which to throw the plebian scum to the lions. Now that I would pay to see. Should also lower the tax bill for welfare.
i have to disagree ! i currently live in huntingdon just 2 mins from the center and being a fromer resident of liverpool have to tell you you are wrong .
if you had come form were i am from and live with the guys who i shared a city with you would realise how miss informed and very under cultured u are !
if you spend a few days in liverpool and then came back to huntingdon then could you STILL tell me that this is a chav town , i think not !
YEP ! its a crapola place, was going by the lord protector pub and there they were, all pillars (pillocks) of society, 2pm on a weekday pissd put of their (small) brains, not at work, pitt bulls in attendance, all smoking, and as for me the taxman bleeds me dry to pay for the privelledge of keeping most of them,
What a load of crap. I’m born & bred from the Oxmoor although I don’t live on it anymore I have many friends & family that live there. Yes there are chavvy elements but no more than any other city or town. Blame the benefits culture, its bred generations of ‘chavs’ in every town around the country who think work is a dirty word.
sherriffbjustice: “darkest baby” ??, i was enjoying this site until i read your comment, you are as ignorant as those you mock.
Absolutely Brilliant. That place is a dive.
Congratulations to the author of “Huntingdon, Cambs”. My husband and I were doubled over with tears of laughter. Very witty and if true though, very sad. We were put onto this website by a friend as I have just accepted a fantastic job in the U.K. and we are looking to buy over there in the coming months so thank you to all the authors on this website for giving us some valuable insights into what undoubtedly will affect not only the price of our house in the future but our everyday lives. In Australia we call them “Boguns”, “Westies” (Sydney) or “Bevans”. Nevertheless, same uniform, attitude, behavioural characteristics and level of intelligence (or lackthereof).
BULLSHITTTT
im from a real slum wiv prblems and my ex gf lived in huntigdon and i visited there twice both times for a few days, and i felt like i ws on holiday, barely any chavs no fighting no problems no stabbing no one gettng robbed, didnt see any dealing or anyfing, only fing i saw was a dirty wall with some grafiti on it and that was all:L
huntingdon is a boring lil village, and id recomend going there if u wanna get away from a crime infested slum, its no where near rough in anyway, people just say its rough cos u get ppl with east london accents there and east london is bad but huntingdon is not :L if u fink it is bad then visit a real ghetto and ul see what the rest of us have to cope with
I have the perfect solution for the cure of "oxmoron" disease!
Please allow me a few moments of your time to explain how to rid our society of these anti social (pardon the french) scum bags.
My cure is every week, time and day to be agreed by all concerned, but friday and/or saturday nights would seem the best time, that groups of 4 people at a time drive around the town, 3 with assault rifles and shoot any of these "chavs" at first sight. The team who bag the most kills win a prize, this could be in the form of a hoodie with "chav killing champion" emblazened on it. More points are awarded for the darkest baby, the fatest 15 year old mother, the most foul mouthed chav (hard to prove when shot!) or the most bling wearing oxmoron!
I do have more ideas on this subject which if this post is found acceptable, will be posted in the near future!