Rossendale has quite a unique “alter ego” chav, whilst Rossendale has the mandatory stereo-typical attire, the transport, nightlife & vandalism , Rossendale is without the “Hard men or Hard Slags”. So please do read on, as this maybe a chav eyeopener…
The Rossendale Valley is a collection of 4 chav towns, Haslingden, Rawtenstall, Waterfoot & Bacup.
The Chav constitution in Rossendale, is producing what can only be described as a “Pussy Chav”. Long gone are the days of the Rossendale Hard Men & Slag bitches battling it out in the middle of the road over a mixed kebab and chilli sauce. Now we are subject to “Handbag Chavving” which generally involves two Chav Scums squaring up and pushing each other, both Shitting themselves and praying like Mohammed at the mountain that the police will turn up and stop them “before they really did some damage to the adversary”, thus being able to claim – “he was lucky and I’ll get him next time”. It has been in the region of 12 months since the last report of one Chav “One Timing” another (aka one punch wonder).
Rossendale is well versed in the Anti Social Behavioural Order (ASBO) aspect of the law. Gaining an ASBO fast tracks your Chav rating and can gain you instant respect in the scum areas of the valley. Most ASBO’s make the Local Paper gaining you instant publicity to your chav mates, enabling you to big yourself up via text message (presumably sent using your parents phone, as yours has no credit) to your posse that is congregated on the street corner / bus stop , the only reason your not there to give them the good news yourself is due to terms of the ASBO requiring you to be at home by 8pm.
The nightlife in Rossendale is limited, to say the least, with Manchester only just round the corner, it provides the Chav Scum the opportunity to control most establishments due to any self respecting citizens making the short trip to the non chav areas of Manchester.
In Rossendale, Rawtenstall is the favoured social meeting ground as it houses two clubs, both of horrifying bad taste. The Q Club was opened recently, it was and always will be known as Stickies (for the obvious reason you have just assumed). This is the bleeding ground for the young chav empire and the recently imposed “dress code” was soon disbanded upon a petition being given to the management / them realising that there only custom was going to be that of townie scum. The other Club is the Rhythm Station, its over 25’s Friday & Saturday and a free for all on a Thursday night. Thursdays average age is in the region of 15/17 and an essential Sports Wear special night. If you have a job, a car & somewhere to give them a good seeing to you will without exception get a shag on a Thursday night in Rawtenstall,
However, if you wish to work the double shift and give the young chav a further cock thumping in the morning, do bear in mind you’ll need to get them to college by 9am.
Bacup is often described as a “right rough Hole”, and quite simply is. Bacup has now been reduced to contain only pubs, as at 12am various pubs transform into Rossendale’s MGM Grand and there is guaranteed fighting all night long, depending on what scale of fight you wish to see (just fists, men V Women, bar stools & glasses), you can adjust the establishment you attend. Due to the inclement temperature, it is not unknown for people to queue, to ensure their brawl can be conducted indoors rather than having to spill out onto the cold and damp streets. It is now a possibility to unknowingly Pick a fight in Bacup – just by entering a pub.
Bacup also offers one takeaway that remains open for the late trade. Having set foot in there, you’ll find yourself questioning the décor, however whilst waiting for your kebab, you will no doubt observe the indifferent clientele and fully understand that any wealth spent on new décor would be a catastrophic waste.
Haslingden is the ultimate shit hole, shit pubs, occupied by the section of the community who serve no purpose in the grander scale of things. No one travels to Haslingden for a night out, and thankfully no one from Haslingden travels out of it.
Waterfoot, a previous haven for underage drinking and middle of the road fighting, now wallows like an OAP who has just buried their life long partner. Waterfootians now make the short journey to Rawtenstall in their chav quests in order to consume alcohol and generally offend us good folk.
Notwithstanding the above, i’m sure by now Rossendale has failed to knock St. Lucia off the top of your wish list for next years holiday, and your grey matter is working over time in an attempt to understand how I managed to complete this article without participating in some form of self harm.
rossendale isn’t all that bad, there’s a few rough places but its generally quite quiet, apart from perhaps outside the pubs at 3 on a sunday morning. If you behave un-intimidated but also un-agressive towards people they generally leave you alone. If you don’t like the place then don’t go there.
yes rossendale has its bad time… but its one of the few places left where you can walk around the streets without being scared of getting shot or stabbed… yea we have chav’s evryhere does but atleast the greater population of our chavs have a brain and wouldnt start a fight with an old guy or mug an old woman… if someone did do the rest would turn on them…. as for the clubs i do agree but i am on this problem and hopefully this year we will be bringing you a new club….
I lived in Rossendale 20 years ago and loved it , you could still leave your back door open in those days , and I still miss the beautiful scenary and walking in the hills , there was allways a sence of loyalty from people in Rossendale that no other place in England has you looked after your friends and family . I still keep in touch with all my friends from Rossendale and have so many happy memories .
ahhh rossendale,once heralded as the ‘golden valley’ being one of the cotton hubs of the industrial revolution…rawtenstall,a nice gentle hilled haven with a western kinda feel,now wallowing in its own filth,shopless,yob ridden,a jobless generation of chavs,there seems to be endless holes dugg around the decaying roads,granted they are taring a few roads but it seems werever you are your stuck in traffic or temporary lights in this town that god forsaked,asda is the central complex the local gentry make as thier day out,sampling the tasty wonders of this gigantic white square,the takeaways are always brimming with young chav scum from the nearby hall carr estate,given that,the majority of the people are nice friendly and helpfull and the market has some good stalls selling foods that are unique to the area,and asda is really handy i guess[c,mon,everyone needs an asda or tesco these days!]and the hills offer a great walking experiance with great views[thankfully the local chav nitwits dont possess the energys to climb a hill without coughing thier wretched guts up .so there u go a little nugget of information on ‘rozzendale;
rossendale is a nice area, i would recomend you visit possibly hall car were the street lamps are turned off around 5 oclock , trust me its for the best, becuse if your eyes adjusted to what is infront of you, the site of empty special brew and needles would make you want to take your £2.50 white ace out of the brown bag and put it over your face. every one who lives in hall car is more thn likely related as yu can probly tell when you walk past asda late at night, and definatley notice the fact that there all ugly and all have the compulsary, white ace 3 litre “bot” and all have no teeth and six fingers on each hand. and also the main neccesaty, a pram, but not no ordinary pram, a single seeted pram straight from the river irwell with triplets crushed in to one seat,
haslingden, a “reyt nice place” to the locals, any “outsiders” will be sent home packing for sure, and if they arent forced to leave, they will probly want to, as soon as they hear the local language, mainly consisting of, nothing, theres only one thing said in haslingden wen eye contact is made, and that would be more than likely…”what the f…. you lookin at mert? ” haslingden might sound grim but they are way ahead , and there language has much evolved compared to the close stacksteads locals…who are lucky to string a sentence together at all due to the non stop diet of either special brew, or other substances they can buy of there own brother with the money earnt from “taxin”.
not all of rossendale folk are like that tho…
just the majoritey…
rossendale has nice things aswell…
for example, the motorway, i see one of the main best things, easiest way to get out alive, (whilst you can) as rossendale locals live like dawn of the dead, they arezombies to the outside world there fore once your in if your differnet they will eat you alive.
rawtenstall center looks nice aswell, i like how its styled with no windows, the boards help ” buzzin 2k6″ stand out a bit more on the stained wood, also as you an see the marks left by the local “mad eds”, graffiti last much longer if its burnt into the wood using a clipper and a deodrant can,(which that method is dieing out as woolworths has been closed for a while) were as the more common, writing on the brick walls seems to fade abit quicker, that is if you can find a brick to write on, as most have been pummled threw your front window before you evn have the chance to write on them.
the bus station is nice aswell, for the fact that it is another way to get out of rawtenstall.
and also whitaker park, the heart of rawtenstall, wich is also another area were street lamps are non exhistant, is a nice place to step on a needle, or if you want a nice place to get mugged late at night, ne sure to walk threw, not to far threw tho because you will end up in oakley, you will realise your there when you see infestations of druggies “an sh*t”…
Police in rawtenstall also, get alot of credit, for , well…. nothing
the police station is boarded up along with the center and all surrounding shops
and no… the police will not be present when you get mugged, but will be if you stand in any park or outside any shop, that is if you are wearing a tracksuite and tuck your “trackiez in” like the majoritey of most other 15 year olds in rossendale.
rossendale is ” a bubble m8″
ye… one true thing said about rossendale…. that bubble needs popping having said….
huuuuu You have plenty to say slagging Rossendale and the people who live here. I agree with you about the state of the valley but there are plenty of nice people in Rossendale. I think maybe a lot of our problems come from mainly young, un-educated people like yourself (obvious as your spelling is appalling) who can’t or won’t get a job and expect to have the finer things in life given to them for free. If they are not given what they think they deserve they just take it off someone else.
gotta say, your way to serious! and just because there are a few spelling mistakes doesnt mean that they are un-educated, and also, i noticed how you missed out punctuation, so we cant all be perfect can we? and to be honest, what huuuu said wasnt actualy slagging off the people of rossendale, just the vermin who make the place look bad…
You are a keyboard warrior and also an internet gremlin… smart ass and also many other things, i mean you obviously think that your clever, and just because some one misses out or miss types one or two words, you think that there un-educated… and what makes you think that this huu person is young might i ask? there is nothing telling you that huuuu is any younger than you is there…? but being a smart ass, and obviously a middle aged internet gremlin, you think that every one who miss types or spells incorectly is young…? typical….. and the comment below about stereo types, there is one comment directly above my comment that is stereotyping someone to be something there actualy the opposite of… enjoy the last 30 maybe 40 years off your life living up to your dreams of thinking your above every one….
i am outraged to read this about my hometown !!!! i would like to point out that it is only a small majority of ‘CHAVS’ who do such things as drinking on the streets !!! people only get to here bout the small majority of this because it is all the media talks about !! stereotypes are discrasful in my opinoin !!! i think they are just like racisum !!! i am only 13 but know that it is definatly a SMALL !!! percentage of teens 12+ that rr antisocial !!!
As a misfortunate inhabitant of Rossendale i can sadly only confirm all of this! “Qube” club in Rawtenstall is now a hub for Chavs who grew up and scab benefits instead of being at school. The younger chavs tend to stick to the streets for their drinking escapades, 2 litre bottle of “White Ace” brand cider is a lot cheaper than buying drinks at Queens.
God help us all.
haha top guy