Wednesbury – what can only be called a chav infestation
Often acknowledged as one of the most poor and rancid areas in the country, the West Midlands, like all other deprived areas, is a hotbed for that ever expanding breed known as chavs. Nestled in the middle of this county, forsaken by decent society (once part of Staffordshire until they got sick of it and chucked them out) lies the old mining town of Wednesbury (wenzbry if you’re a chav). Few of ever heard it and few would want to. Once a home to the affluent business owners who gained riches from it’s plentiful coal supply, the closure of the mines (it’s primary source of income) made Wednesbury nothing more than an over spill for Birmingham, declared by the government as one of the top five most deprived areas in the country. Made up of several estates, Wednesbury is home to the single teen moms, drug addicts and petty criminals spawned by pathetic, jobless scrots who got off their lazy, fat arses long enough to procreate a brood of mini mes the size of which would make a catholic proud.
The majority of the infestation occurs in the estate of Friar Park, once farm land until a few unruly pikeys decided to settle – therefore creating a hive of chavs (or townies as they were known)which has spread at such an alarming rate, it can only be described as a virus. Controlled by three ruling families (of which EVERY resident of Friar Park belongs to at least one whether directly or by proxy Friar Park is like a bad episode of The Sopranos. With their own code of conduct, Friar Parkers live in their own deluded, chavaliscious bubble rarely venturing out of this safe haven for scutters. In an estate where rule number one is ‘don’t nick off your own – they ain’t got owt’ and carrying Netto bag is ‘a badge of honour’ (That isn’t a lie – it was in an article in the local rag Express and Star – number one for chav gossip), there isn’t much hope for the poor little shits born into it. Whether it’s Wodensborough C.T.C or Manor High, the only qualification the chavlings can expect is an ASBO (or an E grade in woodwork if they’re lucky)
We are daily bombarded by images of poor African families on Oxfam adverts, eager to lift themselves out of poverty yet the chavs of Friar Park are quite happy to stay exactly as they are. Their self proclaimed anthem, set to Prodigy’s ‘Firestarter’ is ‘I’m a Friar Parker, a scruffy Friar Parker’ – I think this speaks for itself. Wednesbury is a place where the uniform is trackies tucked into Winnie the Pooh socks, purchased from West Bromwich indoor market and Argos bought/stolen jewellery, where the average age of chav grandparent hood is 32, where aging chavs congregate at local watering hole The Cabin in their legging and slippers, where every week the post office is packed by rioting chavs, all jostling to try and get to the front of the queue to cash their giros so they can go ‘up Ethel Austins and Peacocks and get little Harmony and Kieran new gear’.
Now to come to Wednesbury’s ‘nightlife’. For the under age chavs, the fall of evening means heading to the park to get tanked up on whatever the elected chav has managed to steal from the local offie (usually paint stripper vodka or some form of cider). Then, if it’s a special night, it means a trip to Wetherspoon’s where the average age of customers is 14. Full to the brim of teens wearing their best Bladidas (fake adidas), all crowding the bar demanding ‘blue wickeds’ and cider and black, Wetherspoons has become the new hang out for the exiled Patrick goers who were cast out into the cold after the closure of Wednesbury’s one and only nightclub (although I use that word loosely). And of course it wouldn’t be a proper night out without a leisurely joyride round the estate in a stolen Nova, 50 Cent blasting out of the speakers.
Choose life. Choose your giro. Choose having 6 kids by the age of 20. Choose Tv’s, stereos, Dvd players (all carefully robbed from Curry’s). Choose poor health, smoking 40 a day from the age of 10, drinking shite cider and black. Choose a council flat. Choose Sport‘s World. Choose fake sovereigns that turn your finger green. Choose wagging school to go to get pissed down the ‘dockey’ . Choose losing your virginity age 12 on the field at the back of the canal. Choose beating the shit out kids from Menzies High School and getting bundled in the back of police riot vans. Choose wedding receptions held at the Legion. Choose appearing on Jeremy Kyle for a paternity test and saying ‘At the end of the day, right’ 20 times a minute. Choose Friar Park.
The people on here slagging this off are clealy part of the Chav infestation the articles talking about!
Yes, wednesbury USED to be a nice town, USED to house hard working, salt of the earth people. Problem is it changed! The chavs moved in, they bred like rabbits and the housing estates were suddenly full to the brim with benefit scroungers (before anyone tries to say otherwise, yes I lived there for 18 years, went to the local schools etc and got the hell out of there as fast as I could) .
Those on here banging on about being from wednesbury and not being a Chav, the articles not saying everyone’s a Chav! Just the majority are (don’t deny it, it’s the truth!). It’s a bit of fun – lighten up!
Didnt see any chav’s are you blind?!?!?!! town centre and the bus station is full of them, just unfortunate for the old dears who live there. Wednesbury WAS part of the industrial revolution the word there is WAS, still looks like it needs demolishing and a cull to commence.
Friar park is a dump, its one of the only areas where the council put the CCTV in to monitor weather it was safe to send to binmen round without the truck being stolen. i spent 4 years driving the buses across friar park, and my god i was so happy to leave the f**king shithole, although i did learn a new language and that was “yam yam”
One final thing they called me swifty because if you drove at less than 200mph your windows would be bricked, the bus petrol bombed or if you stopped at a bus stop too long they would be out trying to steal the wheels or you faced the possibility of being raped, mugged or murdered.
Wednesbury had the possibility of being a nice little town, shame the idiots ruined it for the hard working ones
Your a f**king idiot if u visited the place it is a nice town not at the top of the pile and if ya took head out of ya add but no chavs going yes blud ya ok bro like walsall and west brom. i like the way people use alias not real name fuckin brave isnt it.
Tony, it is indeed at the top of the pile, top of the pile of shite places in the West Midlands, you just fail to see it because you are stupid, there is nothing wrong with being stupid, all your friends are too, so you see you are not alone, now run along with your little friends and your bottle of cider and you can think about the next 14 year old you are going to impregnate.
By the way, does the f after tony stand for fuckwit?
My real name is in fact Sideshow bob, youre welcome.
WHAT A STUCK UP MUST BE MIDDLE CLASS PLONKER READ YOUR HISTORY BOOKS AND YOU WILL FIND THAT WEDNESBURY WAS PART OF THE INDUSTRIAL POWER THAT HELPED PUT THE GREAT IN BRITAIN IT ALSO HAS A N HISTORY GOING AS FAR BACK AS THE VIKINGS WEDNESBURY FC TWICE REACHED THE SEMI FINALS OF THE FA CUP AND AS FAR AS BEING CHAVLAND WEDNESBURY PEOPLE ARE SOME OF THE MOST HONEST IN ENGLAND TRY VISITING SOMETIME
You idiot! Wednesbury is not that bad at all. I can honestly say after 16 years of living in Wednesbury, I have never encountered any of these people who wear ‘ trackies tucked into socks’ Stop whinging and move the hell out of wednesbury if you don’t like it! Not every one in wednesbury is a hooligan, most of them don’t even come form wednesbury but from places like Bradley, Moxley or Tipton- now those are places i’d avoid at all cost. I have never claimed giro, I have had a job since 17 and have attended 2 colleges and just been offered a place at University in wait for it…………..London! not bad for a Wednesbury dole dosser eh? The pig & trumpet is a scutty, dirty little drug den which I wouldn’t be seen dead in……………..specially with all these raids they keep getting, just goes to show that the ownertrs of the pig are useless and deserve losing their licence after serving clearly under age kids. Go sort you’re own life out and stop posting pathetic stories on the web!
LOL, best and most accurate article I have read in a long time, hilarious stuff.