Coleraine must stand proud in Chavdom, having as it does at least 4 breeding grounds for these monosyllabic, knuckle dragging, slack-jawed, mouth breathing scumbags. Let me take you on a tour of our delightful paradise and let you decide for yourselves.
First we have the Hollywood of chavs, Ballysally. This hellhole, with views of the cemetery (or if they are lucky the ring road) is a prime example of socialism in action with at least three generations of dole-grabbing dirtbags living together, and is the home of choice for 15 year old single mums to live with their 5 kids. Not too much car crime, as they can’t work out how to operate a brick, and the nearest offy is at least 20 minutes away, but they can always rely on taxis to get them a carry-out to their door. The one fortress-like shop is a magnet for all-day drinking and night time burglary, where they cab steal useful items like nappies and frozen pizza.
Nearby is Harpurs Hill, which sounds lovely bur is in fact the second worse place to be at anytime of day or night. A colourful riot of drinking, wife beating, whores, and knee-cappings, Harpurs Hill is the Rio of the north.
Across the River Bann, itself filled with raw sewage for the delightful aroma to match the area is The Heights, home to the sub-class of chav, the Pikey. This area is full of young chavs whose main pastime seems to be ingesting drugs and fighting with the police. Gaze upon Wetherspoons, and three off-licenses in about 20 yards of each other and you will see why no normal person ventures over the bridge alone, as the odds of being assaulted are certain.
Finally there is Windyhall, on the outskirts of town. Chavs here grow up in isolation, and are heavily inbred as a result. You have no idea how ugly they are, or how many ‘gold’ sovereign rings are worn. Their idea of fun is to stand underneath the railway bridge and throw things (abuse, stones, bricks, fireworks etc) at passing vehicles.
All of these scum like spend their days shoplifting in town (the real reason Woolworths is in the toilet), mugging old people, drinking and fornicating in public and generally terrorizing anyone who is ‘different’ ie has a job, good clothes, all their own teeth etc. At weekends they migrate on-masse to the equally shit Portrush, where the hangout of choice is Club Soi, home of shit hardcore and cheap booze. At closing time, the preferred activities include stabbing each other, smashing things up and again, fighting the police.
As you can see Coleraine has it all (except Iceland, thank god, imagine how bad it would be then!)
“not altogether surprising that you posted this anonymously mate, as you would get your fuck kicked in if we knew who this was you prick”
Feckin typical. I noticed that you posted anonymously as well…
This guy has it spot on with his description. It’s only recently (within the few years) that things have gottten quite as bad as they now are. There are some decent people in each of these areas but that fact is obscured by the idiots in each place. I’ve been friends with some of these “chavs” and alot of them are quite stereotyped against, but each of them generally fell in with a ” bad crowd” at some point. There aren’t any real exaggerations in this article. There was apparently alot of trouble in portrush today, although the media hasn;t mentioned it yet so I can’t be sure.
As for the coleraine – portrush link, alot of the same people can be found dossing about portrush at the weekend whether at kellys or just around the general area where barrys is. It’s genuinely become an unsafe place simply because of these idiots.
Personal example, I was in Andersons Park with my girlfriend, both of us minding our own business and enjoying a summers day. Not long after we got there, a group of approximately 20-30 guys come along (ages between 15 and 25, about 50% of this group being made up of pupils from coleraine college and coleraine inst), they sit in the same area and crack open a few drinks. Fair enough, it’s not legal but theres no harm done at this point.
Then, without provocation a number of the people in the middle of the crowd start shouting abuse and throwing rocks at us. Not just a few little stones, but the kind of thing that could easily land you in hospital. When told to stop, several of the older people in the group stand up and start threatening this, that and the other.
Now perhaps if I was on my own, this would be bad enough but wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. The fact that I was with my girlfriend, both of us in our teens and these people are acting like this. The idea that if I got into a fight (and against 30 guys, many older than me I don’t think I’d fair too well) and my girlfriend still being there. The idea that I couldn’t actually believe that these 30 people wouldn’t harm her too, despite the fact she’d be no real threat to them. This is the kind of fear that people are brought into because of a group of cowardly assholes with no real moral values.
Some of them claim to be “hard”. Funny thing is I’ve never once been confronted by a solitary chav, and very rarely by one in a group of any less than four (when I’m alone) or 8 if I’m with another male friend.
Interesting thing is the minors are getting to be as much of a problem as some of the older ones, and they cry to the cops if they get in over their heads. Which results in immediate criminal record for what is otherwise self defense.
If you see yourself as a chav, and you are fairly decent to get along with, or at least not a complete cunt, then myself and just about everyone else will have no problems with you. However, if you’re the sort of person who’ll sink as low as bringing harm to an innocent and otherwise defenseless, outnumbered couple then you my friend will end up getting “your fuck kicked in”.
I can speak for many in Coleraine and far beyond when I say that we’ve had enough of this shit.
dont know why people are complaining lol there isnt one part that aint true lol
Steady on, dears…my ma originates from Coleraine (Society Street), and moved to London as a nurse, where she married Da – from Jamaica, no less – in 1957. Went over there when granny died in 2007. Didn’t see any ‘chavs’ – nor anyone else with chips on their shoulders; maybe they were all indoors watching their – er…local team (Liverpool/Manchester United) on their Panasonic 40″ tellys from Argos – who’s to say?
As Shan Ha moans; what on earth has Portrush got to do with it, for when we spent a couple of days there, before returning to the mainland, it seemed more livelier than quiet Coleraine. Heard not too long ago a Polish store in Ballymoney was trashed by funguys who read too much right-wing populist tabloids, and/or listens to jealous and lazy morons who snarl at more organised and determined ‘Johnny Foreigners’…and it’s not only ‘chavs’ who take on that kind of stylee.
Liked the town – but read up on history as soon as I returned, and learnt our azz-kicking racist ‘party’ the NF was admired…and (bedamned) supported by lads & lasses of Coleraine during the late seventies/eighties. What on earth was that about?
hahaha what a load of shit where do you live stuck up cunt? Your a while decent person yourself for posting this must have nothing better to do with your time. p.s dont call chavs uneducated when you have quite a few mistakes in that piece of writing
a coleraine ain’t chavy one bit head over to ballymoney and you’ll see wot chavs are and garvagh just as bad lol
Exactly why i hate my hometown, people here have no shame!! The chavs are silly uneducated people, i feel sorry for them, they have no insight into life outside of their box!
Why is Portrush been brought into this? I do believe the title is Coleraine-chav central not Portrush Pikeyland! Anyway as a Portrush local I shall add that only chav activity is in Dhu Varren/Glenmanus….an outskirt edge of portrush. and all the people that go to tracks/club soi and even kellys night club whatever you name it are mainly from outside of portrush and as a result you cant call portrush chavy!
I love Portrush
Trolling is clearly still alive then Mr Anonymous. I would also like to point out that the author of this piece is illiterate. Furthermore, his mum believes it necessary for him to wear boxing gloves to bed.
In reply to Edward, the people you claim to have spoken to in Ballycastle were probably related in some way ( crossed eyes and hairy palms usually give that one away), and therefore would not be appropriate advisors on such matters. Moreover, spending your time in the inbreeding capital off NI (derry), or the shitheap of the north (Belfast ), will further endear you to the people of coleraine, you being a twat we could do without.
I was going to visit the Antrim coast last year. I asked some people in Ballycastle if it would be worth it to spend a couple days in Portrush. The one fellow’s eyes were fairly bulging from his head as he asked, “Are you looking to end your holiday with a fractured skull?” I decided I’d be better off passing my time in Derry and Belfast.
LOL
jokes!
Im actually from harpurs hill and found this really really funny ahaha. good job
not altogether surprising that you posted this anonymously mate, as you would get your fuck kicked in if we knew who this was you prick