Having frequented many of the finest Chav hotspots in the West Midlands i’m sure there can nowhere in the country that comes close to the level of Chavness the West Midlands has to offer.
In the East of the region there is a city so chavy the name was devised fully expecting an impending influx of scum. This can be no other inbred hellhole than Chaventry. In the 2 years I spent in this deprived shit box I never once spotted anyone under the age of 18 without a Burberry cap and NBA basketball vest. The ring-road road signs contain an A-Z of chav towns while constantly directing you around the road to hell. Leaving this place is near impossible, a reason why the locals manage to have no idea of any life outside the dump. The highest concentration of chav’s in the known universe can be found in the Skydome area, a venue so densly populated with white cider drinking louts and lambrini drinking chavette’s it should be an NHS walk-in unit. But the existence of the only saving grace in this cesspit – The National Motor Museum – the only collection of cars within 20miles that isn’t purely Citroen Saxo’s and Corsa’s saves this from being no.1 on the West Midlands chav list.
A town fast rising up the on the chavdar is Stourbridge. Once the envy of Dudley, Halesowen and Black Country residents this place is now the weekend haunt of anyone with £1.60 for the bus fare but not the £3 trainfare into Birmingham. Exclusive venues like the Lloyds No1, Que Pasa and the jewel in the crown Chicago’s will be more than willing to take extortionate amounts of money off you in exchange for lager or plutonium coloured alcopop’s. But beware, anyone not drinking Stella will be immediately glassed by some footballer’s jumper wearing try-hard and then kicked around the floor via his Rockport’s for being ‘a gayer’. Even Paris Hilton couldn’t enjoy a night here.
Broad Street, Birmingham is THE place for chavs to visit for a night out. A small nuclear device on a Saturday night encompassing Lloyd’s N01 (officially the chavest bar in the city) Walkabout (kid chav heaven) Reflex (single mom central) and The Riza, is the only hope for this one great area. Bringing the creme-de-la-creme of chavs together from as far afield as Northfield, Longbridge, Yardley Wood, Erdington and Stechford (all worthy of an individual paragraph) this is truly the hotspot for the scum of Birmingham. Chav’s on the prowl hanging out car windows as they crawl up the road; chav’s in jumpers and white trainers throwing up copious amounts of Magners at 3am; chav’s fighting with bouncers, police and taxi wardens; chav’s spilling burrito down their Henleys t-shirt; chav’s arguing with their beer fueled mates; chavette’s passed out on the pavement with their lady garden’s on show; chav’s only coming out after getting completely slaughtered at home on QC Sherry; chav’s racially abusing taxi drivers, yes, Broad Street has it all! Come along and see for yourself, or maybe not.
Dudley – The land that time forgot. This place contains the worst 2 tourist attractions in the country, more chav villages than Liverpool (been there too, its woeful) and an out of town shopping centre that broke the mould for cruising levels and fast food venues. The castle – completed in 1530 is one of the more modern buildings in the town and had the unfortunate position of overlooking the entire centre. The Wren’s Nest estate or the Renner, Pensnett, Gornal, Netherton, Brockmoor and Tividale are particular lowlights and should be avoided on foot at all costs. The chav-ratio in these areas is unbelievably high and they can generally be found loitering around the local corner shop or chaving it up on a mini motorbike on the local park. Unfortunately the adult population of Dudley doesn’t help the situation, the Love and Hate knuckled single mothers build up their kids expectations so high by showing them the unachievable delights of Poundland and promising them a day out at the Zoo their only option is a life of fake designer chavwear, Blue WKD and crime. If you do end up in Dudley and want to escape the hum drum life of the chavpit, unlucky, it’s impossible. This is surely the chav capital of the West Midlands, which is in turn the Chav capital of the UK.
Tags: birmingham, broad street, dudley, stourbridge, west midlands
excuse mehh mr. fxkin snob ive lived in snett mi hole lyf nd ii daii turn owt tht bd jus cuz yhuu cur handle chavs hangin in tha places they live nd yhuu fink yhuu cn cum in nd tell us were nd were we curr hang theres a nme 4 yhuu “fxkin pricks!!!”
snob verion.
excuse me sir i have lived in Pensnett my whole life and I haven’t turned out that bad, just because you can’t handle a chavs crowding around in the places they live and you think you can come in and tell us where and where we can’t socialize theres a name for you “f**king pricks!!!”
hehe
Who is this goon ?
The black country is class
Birmingham is MANY MANY mini towns in ONE town, so best to asses its general shitness by district I think, I live here … yep its mainly shit(ish) anyway you can take 1 person from Lower Gornal and get him to speak with someone from Solihull and they wont be able to speak in a common tongue, so Please please slag off Bham with some intelligentsia please …. what else …err there’s fooking loads of jet in visitors these days – especialy from the euro zone , the new Bull ring and shopping centre has been redone fantastically well and now rates as one of the best shopping experiences in Europe – no I am not joking … err so yeah its on the up alright … if you wanna know what an ethnic minority feels like then shop at one stop perry barr at 2pm any Saturday, I dont know how the hell brum works – but it just does ….
You’z is all bitchiz !
Whilst Coventry may not be the gem of England it was back at the turn of the 20th century, I can say despite my own misgivings about the city some of you are being extraordinarily harsh and exceedingly unrealistic. I have lived here most of my life bar a short spell living in Manchester, 27years in Coventry in total.
I come from a very poor, one parent two child council house family near Hillfields, I like Chopin, I read numerous books, and I think the Sun Newspaper is more fun to use rather than toilet paper. I have spent the last three years as a manager for a luxury design firm. I have no formal qualifications beyond my GCSE`s I speak good clear English with a wide and varied vocabulary and I am very very far from being alone in this city.
Is Coventry a great city? No.
Is it a good city? No.
But is it an ok city, i.e. Good enough, not too bad, C+, could do better… Well let’s see:
Average crime per capita,
Average council,
Average taxes,
Average services,
Average policing,
Good Hospitals and decent schools.
I would say yes.
And anyone who has not spent or invested a worthy portion of their life in this city has absolutely no basis to judge it with any clarity.
I don’t really see many chavs in stourbridge.
Maybe I’m not looking hard enough. :O
Thank you making me laugh out loud!
I”m suprised you haven’t mentioned Wolverhampton (my home town)
Please carry on writing and making me laugh!
dudley is berry fantastic! hot laydyies with sex eyes take me to their housing, great timings! i love the town!
Lindsey, thanks for the review. Unfortunately I don’t give a f**k about my writing style. Also, its obvious chavs are generally from working classes but maybe your the one who’s narrowminded, if I were to replace the phrase chav with that of ‘working class’ then that would incinuate all people who are looked upon as working class behave in this manner. They don’t as I would put myself and my family in this caregory. Unfortunately you can only see the good in people if its there to be seen and they want you to see it!
I think you generalise far too much and you don’t seem to put any thought into your writing at all.. All you do is mention the first thing that comes into your head and then associate it with these so called “chavs”.
Wish you had something better to do with your time…
You may not have considered that chavs might be another word for working classes.. try replacing that word “chav” with working/lower classes then you might see how narrowminded you are.
I hope you learn how to see the good in people or you will go through your life as a very unhappy individual.
actually there are a lot of rockers in dudley especially on the priory estate we banned chavs of the estate you seeas it makes your home loose value. dont talk abhout my town it may be a bit behind but its still better then chavland so bugger off
Paragraph 4: chavs not chav’s as it is plural . Learn how to spell or is it the result of you spending too much time in a chav comprehensive?
Steve, just because your neighbour is a porsche owner doesnt mean there’s no chavs around. I know some areas of everywhere are nice but this feed is called ‘Chavtowns’ not ‘My area is quite nice actually but a few people occasionally spoil it-towns’. Same goes for you Jamie Mac, incidently bile is a liquid so it’l be a pool not a pile and i can’t comment on those places because i’ve never lived there but have visited and seem quite nice. Michael, nice one on the armed forces front, see above though. Redbydawn you are a complete muppet, how can you slag me off then write several articles on here yourself, liverpool is a shithole, live with it. If you don’t like b/ham uni f**k off up there and lick Ringo Starrs ballsack.
Why does Liverpool even get a mention? f**k off back to your farmers’ market you smug, bourgeois pussyhole.
Yeah thanks Mr. Pointless, Who clinicaly decides to slag off Dudley,
Ive grown up there and never experienced problems.
Just because you have had a hard time there (can see why)
Doesnt mean you have the right to slag the whole off tbh.
Not everybody from dudley is a chav.
I for one am not.
I’m a hard working British Armed Forces soldier,
Does that mean I should be avoided because I am from dudley?
Good to see you failed to mention Warwick, Leamington or Stratford-upon-Avon in the heap of bile above, what with them all being much too attractive and pleasant places to live for you to slag them off.
And for the record, while there may be an upsetting number of chavs in Coventry, it still offers a good night out to anyone willing to give it a shot.
Oh, and if all the chavs in Birmingham are on one street, you should probably just avoid that one, and enjoy what the rest of the city has to offer; an excellent selection of shops during the day, and some great clubs and bars on a night.
Parts of Gornal are actually pretentious Waitrose country. I live in Gornal, and my next door neighbour owns a brand new Porsche. Chav country, really?
wtf !!!!!! actually its full of barbies
dudleyyyyy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep, its all true. Living in Coventry is a rather special experience.
You poor, shrivelled little soul.
Why do you hate people so much?