Aah West Bromwich. Once a decent little town located between Birmingham and the gargantually chavvy Wednesbury, West Bromwich was a haven for the once hard grafting working classes to spend Saturdays with their brood visiting the now defunct Kings 123 Cinema and the large town market. However, fast forward a few decades on to the nineties and noughties, and West Bromwich is, for lack of a better word, a shithole.
Saturdays, and indeed weekdays, are now used by the local chavettes, known as ‘Sandwell Babes’ to go “daaaaan the market wiv lil Chelsie-Brookes and Riley-James to get them sum gear from sportzbox”, visit the fine selection of shops such as Heron or Farmfoods to stock up on ”them gorjus curries for a pound” full of elderly chavs who fight for baskets, and stop off at McDonalds to buy a well-deserved, calorie laden, bargain meal and cop a shag in the toilets with local chav boys who will leave their mark in the shape of a big fat hickey or 6 on chavettes generous sized neck.
A Sandwell Babe earns her title by fulfilling the following brief: a] she resides in a chav town in Sandwell, most probably West Bromwich or Wednesbury b] her rolls of fat can actually be used to hide stolen items food from Netto (I have known Babes who actually do this) c] has an obligatory lower back tattoo on her muffin top region d] a breast tattoo fully on display, a known mating tactic similar to that used by female peacocks when trying to gain a partner e] a chav-in-crime male partner, who is usually much slimmer than his chavette counterpart and not the father of any of her 4 multi-coloured children f] chain smoking, booze guzzling at 9am when the markets open as she needs the energy for her long trek down to the citizens advice bureau where fellow chavs flock to ask for help on how to fill in a benefit form g] wears an insurmountable portion of Argos bling, in an array of colours (brassy 9ct gold or sterlin’ silver) dripping from their poorly manicured, zebra-print airbrushed 3 inch nails h] blonde highlights; a chavette will save 3 weeks dole money to make sure the brassy blonde doesn’t fade, as male chavs aspire to pull a “fit blonde wiv big tits init”. And we can’t leave our chavettes without a herpes-spreading, white cider drinking, shagging partner now can we?! Sandwell Lads are no better; youths tend to be 4 stone underweight, marijuana smoking, addicted to booze by an average age of 11, and hang around the doorways of key shops where they are most likely to pull the aforementioned babes (i.e. wilkos, greggs, mcdonalds, poundland). Attire consists of obligatory designer rip-off cap, trackies tucked into beaming white socks, henleys t-shirt with a popped collar, and a sovereign ring on 5 fingers. He will usually be in fully fledged argument with chavette with her giving him a good kicking for shagging her best friend in The Goose the night before and him giving her a backhand with the sovereign rings left on-ouch. However, chavette will never let go of chav- who else will give her babies to fund that child benefit account and be some kind of trophy to fellow fat chavettes that she still has ‘it’ ?
The towns recent influx of East Europeans has left them somewhat alienated and contributed to WB’s downward spiral as an uninvestable chav hellhole. West Browmich Chavs and Chavettes seem to gain a BNP-orientated political stance when immigration hits home, declaring foreigners to “fook off ‘ome” and “back to your own fookin country fookin spongers”. Ironically, the East European women have gained jobs as strippers and the males factory work, which means they are actually contributing to society in contrast to the sponging native chavs.
No-go areas include Carters Green, a run down, neglected area where YMCA-residing chavs will mug anyone who seems rich (i.e. carries a Tesco shopping bag) and black men will hurl inverted racist abuse at whites and asians. In short, West Bromwich is as chavvy as they come, so next time you hop on the West Midlands metro service, think twice before getting off at ‘West Bromwich Central’ and instead aspire to reach the greener pastures of Snow Hill where the ratio of chavs/middle class is 3:7 rather than 10:0.
You don’t see that many UFO reports in West Bromwich.. even the alien’s avoid it like the plague. If I were to shoot myself, I’d need a reason. I’d find a reason walking amongst these miserable b3stards.
A shadow of it’s former self, West Bromwich is a dirty, often dangerous town that has no soul. Only in old pictures will you find the glory days, including the renowned high street carnival and sanctity of Dartmouth Park. To some extent the park has remained intact, thankfully. But the area is an industrial area, and poor..it therefore goes without saying that West Bromwich has next to nothing going for it. To cater for this need you have an abundance of fast-food joints, pubs and tacky shops selling junk in advance of yet another store going to the dogs. This is not a university town by any means. This is a poor, urban dwelling that has had almost everything going for it taken away and sold off, or squandered (look at the ‘Public’ project fiasco). The surrounding housing estates and industrial land is even less appealing, unless you like living near chavs, or love the smell of Indian food. The high street of West Bromwhich could be one of the best in England, but it’s been turned into one of the worst. Just about the only redeemable feature is Dartmouth Park. You do not feel any sense of identity in West Brom, of being in Europe. You feel no sense of pride, of worth. You just feel a sense of alienation despite the population density. A lot of people here just don’t give anyone the time of day, and are rude, arrogant and scruffy in their delusional superiority complex they wear like a glove. Perhaps this is down to the town’s past (boundary changes), cultural changes and position. It’s location offers a transport hub for all manner of vermin, including those who use the bus network from Birmingham to Dudley and Wolverhampton. Some people moan about the number of Poles choosing to live here, but in hindsight, I actually feel sorry for them. This is one town that like many others, continues to be eaten away and swallowed whole until we are all just one big urban hell-hole that resembles the mega-city in Bladerunner. No green, no light..not hope. Just a place you cannot wait to escape. Welcome to West Bromwich ladies and gentlemen (and locals). Enjoy your limited stay.
An excelent sumarisation of west bromwich. Esp the bit about fat birds with slag tag necklaces.
As someone who has had the distinct pleasure or living in both Wednesbury and West Bromwich, I have but one thing to say, probably much to the dismay of Aimee, I agree with HannahBanana86 in saying that West Bromwich, and its outlaying towns are shitholes. Unfortunately, I can’t escape from the fact that I was born here, and have to carry that shame with me until the day that I die.
Aimee, I see that you have resorted to the standard tactic of retaliating in the fashion that I have come to expect of people of this town, and come out with the verbal equivalent of “how dare you tar us all with the same brush?” – whilst I can’t do that, as there are some people who do actually try to contribute something to that called the Human Race, I can’t say in good conscience that the majority of people are like that, and in fact, those decent people are somewhat a minority. Whilst not everyone is “scum”, I am afraid to say that there are a very big majority, that I am not ashamed to say, are indeed scum, and deserved to be called scum.
I assume from your quote, “I have spent 21 years of my life in the place you so happen to be calling a what was it? “shit hole” I agree West Bromwich has a lot to be desired but this is my home!!”, that you’re quite young. I am also going on the assumption that you may have not lived anywhere else, and are only viewing the situation from a singular point of view. You will come to find out that some times, the grass is actually greener on the other side of the fence.
Also, someone else here called Hannah, a “snob” – well, I have to admit it, I am also a “snob”, and why? Because I believe that is should be the intention of everyone to improve their living standards, instead of wallowing in their own filth like the rest of the pigs around here do.
I’ve believed that Adolf Hitler had the right ideas; he just targeted the wrong people.
The one thing that I have come to expect from the people of this area, is they cannot see the forest for the trees, and can’t admit to themselves that there is a REAL PROBLEM!
Now, you will probably argue the point, “Well, if you don’t like it here, why don’t you leave?” to which I would argue, “Yes, that would be a good point, but the reason why I live here, is because I can’t afford to live anywhere decent! That’s why the people that live here, do live here. Because they can’t afford to live anywhere else!” Seriously…do you expect anyone to live here BY CHOICE?
Hello Oh Judgemental One!!
I have spent 21 years of my life in the place you so happen to be calling a what was it? “shit hole” I agree West Bromwich has alot to be desired but this is my home!! My parents grew up in this “shit hole” both have DEGREES a position that warrents over 50k. They own home situated in the LOVELY Hill Top of said “SHIT HOLE” a car each no ASBOS or police records, Our home cars or any other property of any value has never been stolen or broken into. I left school with every grade C and above (HOW ABOUT THIS I WAS EDUCATED IN THE OTHER “SHIT HOLE” WEDNESBURY)
I and any other person I have associated myself or grown up with would never have been seen wearing the describtion of clothing you stated, swearing at an adult, stealing from Eyh Hem…Pound Land or Greggs!!!
West Bromwich isnt the nicest of places, Im sure Dubai is much more exiting but this is our home!!
How dare you slander us as SCUM on your site.
Every area has its good and bad parts BUT I ASSURE YOU WE ARE NOT SCUM. I found your comments very padantic and pathetic to say the least. I would assume a man of your calibre has never delved into asking people about there town. I see you standing and only taking note of the some what misfortunate teens in our area!
My last comment and I do ‘ope you take note Cocker!!!!
If ya wore lukin 4 tha bad ya’d see tha gud in us ay it!!
I lived in Carters Green. It is worse than this. We practically had to give our house away so we could move.
The only funny thing was the mention of Heron supermarket.
You just come across as another unfunny snob who can’t spell.
Sorry I’m not a zoologist.
“female peacock”, thats really stupid coming from someone trying to slate other people!! In case you don’t get it, peacocks by definition is male. Moreover males attract females with visual displays, not vice versa.