JUst off Junction 9 of the M5 is the beautiful town of Tewkesbury. Well least it would be beautiful if The Tewkesbury folk didn’t live there!
I have been down here for 6 years now and after moving from a scummy town in Leicestershire i believed my standards had gone up. Looking round on my first day they had but then i got into a conversation with someone and my standards had actually gone down.
Around 90% of the population of this town sounds like a member of the Wurzels, 95% of them are related and the other 5% are like me and moved here by mistake.
Like i’ve siad Tewkesbury town centre is actually a nice place and if you venture north of the town towards Mitton then the standards get higher. However, if you head in the other direction then you reach Priors Park. A modern day council estate where low life benefit fraudsters and drug dealers live. It’s certainly not a place to go at night unless you were brought up there or you wanted drugs.
Tewkesbury town council decided that because there were more and more priors park folk being bred then they would create another estate called the Wheatpieces or Priors Park mark2. It is a relatively new estate and had to house the younger scum that priors park was creating. The Wheatpieces has a nice little community centre/maternity ward, a spar shop full of cigarettes and white lightning cider however one thing this estate and priors park does lack is a job centre. The council decided not to relocate the job centre which means these low lives actually have to venture into town every week to collect their giros and to sign on. Because of this the town has had to create businesses like Mojos, a replacement of Montells. Apparently you still need wellies to get there and the smell of urine has been pin pointed to there however the smell could also be located in One Stop or Pronto’s pizza place next door.
Considering there is a great history of this town and the buildings dating back to the 1600′s there are an unusual amount of take aways in Tewkesbury to accomodate the folk of Priors Park, the Wheatpieces and other inbred towns folk. I can only presume that Tewkesbury Abbey is the only church in town which accepts marriages between families. The other week i was walking my dog past the abbey and i noticed a wedding party outside. I ask one of them why there wasn’t many guests (presuming they’d be inside), the answer i got however was disturbing……. ” all the guests are here however it’s difficult to invite people when the bride and groom are brother and half sister.
There are however good things to come out of Tewkesbury, namely the M5 northbound and southbound, the A4119 towards Cheltenham (but don’t get me started on that pit of a town!!!) and the River Severn.
The last thing wrong with Tewkesbury is the ska band [spunge]. They are a local band who have been together since the mid 90′s. THey have had 1, possibly 2, top 40 hits and were signed to a record label. The band and their loyal following seem to think they’re invincible and as big as the Beatles. The 4 band members are hitting mid-late 30′s and still won’t give up feeding the town with poor quality music. Their tours remind me of a tour Chesney Hawkes would do if he hadn’t have given up after his one hit wonder. The funny thing about this band is they are not even as popular as [sponge]bob squarepants.
If you’re going to visit Tewkesbury then please don’t speak to anyone as it will taint you’re visit to this splendid town!
Indeed Tewkesbury has it’s scummy parts, but so does every where! I mean look at Gloucester for god sake. And to say scum live in wheatpieces is a bit far fetched! I mean I’m from there and I can safely say I have never set foot in a job centre, mainly because ive had jobs and now I’m a university student!! If you hate tewkesbury so much, take your head out your ass and move somewhere else !!
I moved to Tewkesbury seven months ago having grown up in leafy London suburbia and since have lived in Paris, Leeds, Rome, Milan, and having travelled Europe, America, Asia and Australia, so I have plenty of benchmarks for comparisons. Certainly there are people of all classes in Tewkesbury, but that is normal, unless you live in one of those upmarket areas of very large towns where the undesirables have been swept away, a phenomenon which gives a place a peculiar and artificial air, and ensures that a cup of tea and a cake costs the same as a main course in a restaurant would elsewhere. Yes, there are drunk people out and about late in the evening, but this is Britain we live in, and it is a national characteristic, same as in all places with any Viking heritage (even been to Stockholm on new year’s eve? Rejkjavik? Same. And the same girls in skimpy dresses hugging their bare arms late at night walking past snowdrifts). The points you make are utterly discriminatory and, frankly, I don’t think you know what you are talking about at all and are merely trying to sound like Jeremy Clarkson, who walks a fine line between insult and humour. The difference is, you forgot the humour. People here are almost universally polite, straightforward, unpretentious, and refreshingly un-chavvy. There is a mix of classes, but I have found none of them to be particularly antisocial in their behaviour. No boy racers, no graffiti, no litter, no loud music, frankly all I have witnessed is people acting towards each other with consideration and decency. Far from constructing a convincing argument about Tewkesbury, all you have done is to combine some half-formed thoughts and a desire to sound clever into a sort of protracted whinge about the inescapable fact that people come in different classes, and some are unemployed. I don’t expect to agree with everything I read, but I do expect it to make at least one point worthy of reading. I suggest you work a little harder on your writing skills and keep your ideas to yourself until you can make them either more interesting or entertaining.
How wrong could you be! Sounds like to me your a Leicestershire 6 fingered Birmingham chav wannabe!
Now get the f**k of my town…
Oh and Cheltenham a pit of a town????? WTF!
I joined the TVR club in Tewkesbury what a bunch of snobs,they took away my TVR badge and told me I couldnt be a member anymore as I had changed my gear nob to one in the shape of a skull,bastards silly childish barstard toffy nosed pricks.I loved that lepel badge,I loved it even more than my Blue Peter badge who the school bully flushed down the toilet.I only joined to get the free badge,but thats not the point.They all showed me their nobs,leather nobs they had.Scum…..made me cry the toffy nosed bullys.
Tewkesbury-
I think the name change of interbreedbury is by far a better name!
I’m so glad, I’m not a relation!
Mate you dont have a clue what your on about as someone who has lived in tewkesbury all my life and now live in cheltenham yer there are chavs but there are chavs everywhere you go like greebos etc.. and ill tell u now i know no married ppl who are brother and sister.. your talking rubbish and are going over the top.. cheltenham home posh ppl with good jobs.. so get over yourself you just think your some what better then everyone else
how the hell can you say Cheltenham is a pit of a town?
easy watch!Cheltenham is a pit of a town,…..see easy when you know how.
becouse theres scum like you in it!