Well what can I say and where the hell do I start. Please bare in mind I have spent time in Middleton, Stockport and Brinnington universally recognised as being poorly kept public toilets.
ROCHDALE, once described by Monty Python as a quaint Northern village, I am sure you already recognise this as a misnomer of the greatest degree.
To gain an understanding of this excremental town it may be an idea to start with the town centre. In a high street of roughly 50 shops there are 10 charity shops, these are divided into high and low class shops and people are looked down upon for shopping in say age concern instead of YMCA. To add variety to your shopping experience The charity shops are interspersed with numerous pound shops who actually have regular sales to tempt in the discerning shopper. However when the local denizens wish to be flash and show off to the other scroat’s, they go to Santa’s grotto “bright house” no intention of paying and desperate for debt the wily customers see a chance of watching films on a home entertainment system for a couple of months, before revelling in the chance to outwit the repo man.
The town does not have a dedicated book shop, however if you wish to take pot luck there is small charity shop that exclusively sells nothing but books (a sure treat for residents that can read).
You see no mixing of different races in this place, this may be a hangover from the Second World War from whence it was said that Hitler wished to live in its town hall. So is clear the racist inhabitants wish to continue the good work.
The inhabitants of this poor blighted town are easily identifiable with hands down tracksuit bottom’s and legs of which are tucked into socks worn under god awful trainers, it matters not that the trainers are fluorescent, torn, dirty and massive as long as a logo is visible. These trainers are usually the crap that a shop puts in the sales, going cheap or just what the shoplifters could get their hands on.
Now the lady denizens also come into their own with Salford face lifts, tramp stamps visible just above the sweaty muffin tops. It may well be law that the female of the species has to be attached to a trolley and a grubby child. These people have not quite attained the status of chav, but are more than happy with their current title of scroat’s.
Rochdale has a colourful transient population seeking benefits, hand outs plentiful substances to abuse and easily available housing. These colourful characters come in an interesting variety of criminal leanings and mental health problems, but that is ok as Rochdale is a long standing liberal borough.
Rochdale is ringed by a variety of housing estates such as, Freehold, Falinge, Kirkholt and many other colourful locations which were the inspiration for films such as Escape from New York and Evil Dead. Indeed one of the housing units is known affectionately as the land of no lampshades, due to the amount of benefit artists and purveyors of fine powders that live in this architectural wonder.
Too sum up, if you are looking for scroat’s who are mouth breathers that drag knuckles on the ground and who own bright trainers bought with benefits and colour blindness. Rochdale is the place for you.
By: Darren Averill
Tags: Lancashire, rochdale
I have lived here all my life and have to agree its the biggest dump known to mankind. There are a few if us who don’t conform to Chav ways but unfortunately they’re taking over. You can’t even go anywhere without seeing them. There are no longer any good areas as a previous poster suggested. Rochdale is over run and is quite scary. My only goal in life is to get out of here as fast as possible before my children become contaminated by this disease.
every place you go there is a ruff end and a posh end and roch is the same at the end of the day and if you dont like it then dont come back you wont be missed or even noticed ….. and this is prob why you started on roch cos the girls here didnt look at ya twice the one’s that did were prob the roch prossess lol, but that anit my fault …. but u cant slate us all cos uve had i bad run in with some of em from here …. and the asians well i cant speak for them and dont want to …….. peace…! xxx
rochdale is an awful place stayed ther briefly..full of scrawny chavs and asian gangs stalking teenage girls….tbh the kids in rochdale all seemed to be scared going out after around 10 because of the gangs of asian youths in the area
i looked up Donna Chatburn … Dang !!! shes fit i would do her !!
i love this town FML !! woop woop
donna chatburns fit LOL i looked her up on facebook i would !!!
i love rocki dale !! its gr8
I’d love to defend my town here (Though I did find the article funny) and point out that I’ve met a full range of intelligent and creative people, The college I go to is in the top 5% of all A level institutions in the country and most people there are from Rochdale. However I can also say I have indeed met many lower-than-Chav life-forms that seem to inhabit the area. I live in Kirkolt (the part thats full of old ladies, I guess this makes me lucky right? – Even though just like everyone else in Kirkolt, I was born with the plastic-spoon in my mouth) so when I go out for a walk I tend to walk into such… interesting ‘scum’, aswell as having to attend an education near them. So I can see where you come from when writing such things about Rochdale. On the other hand, “You see no mixing of different races in this place” is inaccurate. My Primary school, High school and college were all completely mixed and got on perfectly with each other.
Just as a foot-note: Please Rochdalians, stop acting like such low minded creatures in the comment section. I’ve face-palmed at comments so often that my face is red. You’re only letting us all down here with your lack of formal English skills.
and before I get 1000 replies calling me stuck-up: No, I’m defending my town by showing that my IQ is more than my Shoe-size because you guys didn’t do a very good job of it. In the wise words of everyone on the internet; “Come at me Bro”
Cant argue this is the god honest truth
Yeah Rochdale fantastic,yeah lived here all me life like yanno?well no you dont no becouse you dont no me do you?Or perhaps you do I dont no.Anyway Gary baldys the name Rochdale me game,oh ha ha ha ha ha har,oh that rymed didnt it?Gary baldys the name…ha ha ha ha Rochdales me game,HOO Haha ha harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh.Oh I love Rochdale everyones so friendly and funny,thats becouse Rochdale folk are happy folk,feeling lonely?come and give my wife a poke……….HAH HA HA harrhhh ho ho ho…give me wife a poke…Rochdale folk and everything ha ha ha hooohhhhhh that rymed as well didnt it?Oh by golly by golly bums and xmas holly,ha haaarrrhhh oh oh oh that rymed to didnt it?HAH HA HARRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHh,oh I love Rochdale…………………………and Swindon,thow Ive never been there,that dont make much differance to me as Ive never been to Rochdale either,but I like it.
Lol WTH have you taken summet lol xxx
Hi tell you what it is im a f***kin chav and ya fink ya big but you anit u just dont like it cos ur so…… UGLY you cudnt pull a rochdale bird and u have that old saggy doggy bouncin on top of ya thats if she had the bottle to sleep with ya. iv just spent bout £500 on a buggy for ma baba, i walk round in nikess straight from the shop (not off sales) between £100-£140, ma kids are clean well dressed ect if you dont belive me then look me up on fb you tramp. I dont even have a tramp stamp you muppet so not all ov us do. Oh yeh i can spell But like short txt and slang betta come to rochdale and watch me bitch slap ya all ova roch mate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahaha u jokers u cum 2 rochdale and see wot u wanna c prob livin in sum stuck up estate born wiv a silver spoon havnt got a fukin clue wot gos on between the diffrant races wen weve got asain men rapein englesh girls aged 14 gettin um addicted to smack and crack wot wud u do if it was ur daughter who got gang raped by 5 taxi drivers would u still mix wiv um and y do u care if we walk round in bright trainers and tracksuits wiv socks tucked in at least we dont walk round wiv our noses stck up lookin down on evry1 so if u dont like rochdale then stay the f**k out of our town and the people who live here are betta 2 talk 2 dan a bunch of snobs so get a grip look further than ur big house uv ad pasted down 2 u and just think how hard your life would be if u ad 2 work for evrything you own and u go on bout us getin things on finance and look at ur car witch will take u 10 years to pay off just so u can drive round thinkin your betta than evryone at least wot we have is payed for you mugs
Rochdale ¬_¬
It’s a great place to live, youths running around with pants in their socks, parents on crack, houses falling to pieces, oh yeah.. stinks of shit.
I recommend you do not come here, run nuggah run!
This is all true. Rochdale is an absolute shit hole and I am surrounded by ignorant low life chavs everywhere I look. Not even God can save me!
legen, wait for it…. dary!