Years ago this was a quiet and cosy little town until one day an animal known as the “chav” decided to pullover its stolen caravan and settle down here. Unfortunately this vermin species bred like flies before it could be spayed by a veterinarian. Within months the chavs took over and made a quiet town into a complete s**thole, terrorising innocent pedestrians. The chav can be seen all over the town usually sporting a flat cap (even in the heat of summer) and wearing tracksuits with countless items of “bling” as they call it, from argos. The most notorious chav hangout is the Tesco. Here teen chavs with their pregnant 13 year old girlfriends can be seen harassing innocent shoppers, as even the weediest chavs think that they are professional ufc fighters when in groups. Living in Hailsham is an immense displeasure. The only way the government can clean up this town is by legalising chav hunting.