Bedford, what a s**t hole. Having lived here all my life I still struggle to find anything remotely good about the place. The town centre is ridden with chavs and drug dealers, and the area is never short of a murder or two. The place is ridden with strange, backwards people who appear as if they would drag you into a side street and violently murder you if you so much as looked at them the wrong way. If you’re lucky enough to come across somebody who is not a knife-weilding maniac you have achieved something.

A bit of an exaggeration, maybe, but a crime ridden s**t hole nonetheless. And I wasn’t joking about the murders.

Ah, the town centre – OK for shops, but OK is as far as I would go at the best of times. Everywhere you look there are gangs of chavs and weirdos hanging about. The floors are ridden with chewing gum and rubbish and each wall or lamp post you pass gives you a waft of stale piss where one of said chavs or weirdos has decided to give the public toilets a miss. The lifts also smell of stale piss, but unless you want to meet drug dealers and rapists I wouldn’t advise taking the stairs, which also smell very strongly of piss, although in this case it is not usually stale, in fact sometimes you may be lucky enough to pass someone still doing their business up the wall.

Even what are considered the nicer parts of Bedford are usually not a great deal nicer than your average landfill site. Lets take the area down by the river as an example, ahh yes, that dirty, stenching river which probably contains more litter, s**t and dead bodies than water. Surrounded by ‘parks’ which could be better described as empty grass patches in which chavs and drug dealers go about their daily lives, some of which literally go about their daily lives there – I have seen more than a few tramps asleep on the benches with half drunk bottles of alcohol beside them. The wooded areas surrounding these parks are not places you would go unless you are willing to get gang raped by peadophile chavs in the trees, or the public toilets which also seem to give the surrounding area an undesirable stench. 

I once took the (ridiculously stupid) decision to walk a section of Midland Road alone at around 11:30pm. Having missed the last train and not having any credit, in a midst of slightly drunken thoughts I decided to make my way to a friends house in the area. On my way, 2 people asked if I wanted any drugs, 1 person hit on me and 1 person had been stalking me the entire journey and if I hadn’t walked into my friends back gate at that point I would not have been surprised if he had stabbed me in the face or dragged me into his van. I then called my mum using my friends’ phone and as she was picking me up we witnessed a swarm of police cars surrounding a pair of chavs who looked as if they’d been stabbing each other. How wonderful that was. Later that week we discovered that one of them was my friends’ next door neighbour, who had once been in prison for smashing their living room window with a brick and another time his house was drug raided. Needless to say they, no longer live there, although they had been trying to sell the house for over 3 years.

So Midland Road, in general, not the place you want to be at any time, especially alone or late at night. Never again! Not that the rest of Bedford is really any better.

To conclude, I wouldn’t suggest a visit to Bedford any time soon unless you are a drug addict, rapist, murderer, paedophile, alcoholic tramp, or hold more ASBOs than your IQ, in which case you would fit in perfectly.

By: Bobs