Now I’ve been in Barrow several times, it’s a place where the local youth don’t know what’s what and starts to pick fights just to occupy themselves, crazy ladies with three dogs start talking to you about their walnut cabinett and the police are just as fat and hairless like the police in switzerland that eat fondue on top of the mountains and cut salami with swiss army knifes.

Now don’t get me wrong I really enjoyed my stay in barrow but theres just too much hate in that city, do you feel me? You do.

I couldn’t stagger into tescos without some little fat ginger kid insulting me, now I’m grown up but beating ginger kids like fat pinatas waiting for the sweets to pop out is music to my ears (especially if their ginger)

Well it’s not their fault their mums probably raised them in some run down house or not at all. In fact their mums are probably in Jeremy Kyles studio right now having some DNA test done just because they’ve f**ked about every chav in bloody Barrow and don’t know who the father of their hideous kids are.i

But all in all I really liked Barrow and its a trip worth making, the seagulls, the dock museum, the pubs, the people etc.

I’d suggest you’d double check that rear-view mirror and head up there because you won’t find a place like it.

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TheWarriorChief

Please come to Millom Cumbria, insular and inbred like something out of the bayou in the Everglades Florida, that was in the film Deliverence with John Voight! The Chavs mainly hang amout the Bridge Cafe.

After a pointless trip to nearby Barrow in furness to qualify for their Educational Maintainance Allowance at Furness College the chavs take drugs to justify their pointles existence.

The outside world does not exist to this inward looking and very small minded community pettiness rules. The Whitetrash work at the local Haverigg prison were nepotism rules! or you can take a risk and work at Sellafield renamed from Windscale supposedly to make it sound more attractive.

Big money is payed to small minded people who think they are something, so they can live on so called decent estates. Vast armies of unemployed people either justify their existence by spending the day in “The Workies” a working mens club now a private club.

The Jobcentre plus is near useless with no vacancies whatsoever in Millom. You can have a job at the prison providing you have a member of your family already working there well at least I think it is nepotistic!

The Chavs will have difficulty finding something to do in this shithole!

Barrow In Furness aka “The Shithole”,what a dump and possibly the most chav populated town I have ever seen.Take a walk through the main street “Dalton Road” and see how many “LONSDALE” clad teenage chavs you can see in the 2 minutes it takes to walk through the shopping area.The sale of Staffordshire bull terriers has rocketed as its essential to have LONSDALE Traccy,Fake massive gold chain and a staffy on a lead by your side.
Barrow has one of the highest murder rates in the country and its easy to see why.Take a stroll through one of the doss area estates and watch the heads turn and curtains twitch.
The average day consists of getting up at 11 am,have a litre of White Lightening then take the dog up town to see if the mecca sports shop “SPORTSWORLD” has any new Lonsdale gear for under a fiver.After sitting in MC Donalds for 3 hours its time to go home cos the teenage girlfriend will be due home from school and then shes got to go for her pregnancy scan to see if its twins or not.
At night time boy racers zoom up and down the street with the fake Burberry caps and Camel fags hanging out their gobs,the town is filthy and its a regular occurance to see several dogs shitting on the pavement where nobody bothers to bat an eye lid.The local paper even have a coloumn called “chav watch” which describes when and where chavs were spotted.
If you want to see what happens when your cousin shags your sister then head to Barrow,a real shithole full of JJB,ARGOS,SPORTSWORLD AND MACCIES shops that are full of spotty,piss stained chavs with their dogs.
If there was ever a war then head to Barrow cos nobody and I mean noboby will bother bombing this shithole.

Penrith what a lovely place until you actualy get there. Like Carlisle, Penriths bigger brother, Penrith has its own historical features like it s castle and well thats it. Penrith would be a nice place were it not for all the chav scum that infest the place.

Penrith has its own chav factory known locally as UCC(ulswater Community Collage). It produces some of the finest chavs you have never wanted to set eyes on. They turn small children into jibbering ‘real’ burberry clad morons. They have done this with considerable ease as they follow the year 11 role models. These role models smoke drink and get ‘pissed’ with any slight nonconformism to chav behaviour.

The chavs of penrith have little to do so they turn to there favourite pass time which is causing trouble. The prime targets for this type of behaviour is castletown and penrith centre with over 10 pubs which they constantly try to get into. The second favourite haunt is McDonalds where they shout at everyone who cums in. They are usally obscene jestures or if you go in wearimng jeans you get called a ‘greb’ ‘greasy f**ker’ and other rude and totally un offensive things.

Saturday is a chavs favoutite day because the market is on. This is the prime time for ‘taxin’ or ‘chavin’ the latest fake burberry or fags n lighters off market stalls. After there happy purchases the little chavs hang around town causing toruble. they then head off the Waverly for some ‘hardcore tunes’ and to get pissed. you will usally find them bein sick on there way back home to there un lovin familys who havnt missed them.
A litle advice if you go to Penrith and dont like chavs where trainers so you can run away from them fast before they massacre you. good luck.

Ahh, Carlisle. The sights, the smells, the wonderful fast food outlets. And if you’re very lucky, on your visit to this historical town, you might NOT see the resident species. Chavs.
They’re everywhere. Street corners, Mcdonalds, The Lanes seating area. Even Woolworths is infested.
experience the thrill of walking into town and having such colourful local greetings as “goffy” “dirty Greb” and of course the timeless “filthy greeeeeb man” thrown your way as you pass. Smile to hear the 13 year old mothers walking past Wilkinsons and yelling “Dwayne! Stop kickin’ that man in, innit!” to the three year old cherub in question.
Marvel at the endless rows of shoe shops and sportswear stores, with the tasteful harmonies of “My humps” and “Call on MEEEEe” blasting endlessly from their welcoming doorways.
Gasp in delight as you pass what is locally known as “chav corner” the favoured childrens play area for all of the local chavs to hide and drink their “peeve” (illegal alcohol). This particular place is artfully decorated with cigerette butts, empty bottles and used needles. Why not take your children to play there!
And just before you leave, you have to take a trip to “weed central” the ‘skateboarding park’ which has been taken over by the biggest gang of chavs in historical records. This is now the perfect place to get stoned off your head before heading out to Botchergate, or as we know it, “black eye row”. 2am on a saturday morning is the prime time to get beaten up as you walk home- be sure not to miss it!
I hope you enjoyed this little tour of Carlisle-

“It’s proper minted- Innit!”