Its been a few years since I left Carrick but I still travel back to see family and friends and f**k has that place went down hill ! Commercially it is a ghost town where upon entering you should put on The Specials record of the same name.  The town center is a shit hole where all there is are cheap clothes shops and make up shops where Chavettes  can buy some agent orange make up and cake it over their f**king ugly faces to make them into tango women.   14-18yr old Chavettes push hordes of kids in buggys that they have paid for with their child benifit ( me and your taxes ), sovereign rings sparkling with giant hoop ear rings which have been bought from Argos finest jewllers Elizabeth Duke, this along with a council face lift pony tail it just dont get any better in life……  Please dont forget the essential track suit bottoms with fat arse and gut hanging out the front with a hoody top and a feg hanging out of their mouths.  There these loyal Chavettes will make their way to such distinguished places as Wetherspoons were you can get sloshed for a tenner.  Up the street trying to double their dole money is  Carricks finest Chavs in the bookies, pen behind the ear, white trainers, trackie bottoms and a skin tight T-Shirt when its f**king snowing or raining outside, what cunts!!

Down in the car park you have your slightly more up market Chav driving a 10year old Nova, Clio or some other shit heap that they have some how managed to obtain a loan for.  With go faster stripes, a f**king giant exhaust on it making it sound like a f**king Formula 1 car and suspension lowered to a inch of the ground these really are stupid little cunts zooming round the car park like f**king Lewis Hamilton.  The normal citizens of this once proud town have to put up with this shit.

Carrick basically is now an over spill of web slingers ( Chav, spides ) from Belfast and Newtownabbey and is getting worse.  Try and walk home from a pub on a Saturday night taking a short cut through Shaftsberry Gardens and its like going on a f**king unknown mission in Afganistan as there are web slingers in every bush with their chavettes drinking cider and vodka and waiting for some un suspecting punter to toodle past half pissed before he is jumped on.  As usual these little cunts are like Hyenas and only attack in groups NEVER one on one unless its against a OAP or a 8 yr old.

I could go on and give you more stories of this old town but it too depressing, still I suppose it still home !!!

Upon entering the town of lurgan 2 things are noticable, the smell and the ammount of chavy wankers. They actually think they have gangs. one such "gang" is the albert street crew or as they call themselves "Da Alberto street crew yero laud!" whatever the f**k yero or laud means. Lurgan chavs are about the same as all of the other scumbags only with 1 major difference. they dont know what the word chav even means. One common past time is going to some older chavs house and sniffing cocain from an old coffee table that will no doubt be used as a bed for someone by the end of the night. another common past time is waiting around in allyways for one of the local dealers or someone with connections to dealers to show up or waiting on someone to go into the offlicence to get them a bottle of buckfast which will probibly get them drunk when they finish 1/2 of it. or atleast theyll act drunk to sound cool. The scummy cock suckers tend to sound like ducks aswell. this is most likely from spending their childhood smoking weed.