Chavtowns – Britain's worst places to live!

Much to my complete dismay I had the gross misfortune to spend two years of my life in this miserable shit-hole! Soon after I moved in to this town I bumped in to an aquaintance who informed me that it is known to locals as New Chav Hell. Going to the local Co op in the evening was like running the gauntlet past chavvy little urchins, who not only looked in dire need of a good wash, but also had the cheek to try and tap you for money, booze and fags.

In the Summer things just got worse as the sun brought them out to sit on the grass opposite the shops on the High Street, drinking their tramp juice (Special Brew during the day!!!) always with their big dogs. Nevermind being able to afford to look after their devil chav-spawn kids, as long as you can feed yer rottweilers! And yes, as you can imagine the streets are a veritable minefield of dog shite as these feeble minded fuckwits saunter around with their stinking, drooling hounds. An otherwise pleasant walk along the canal becomes frought with peril as you try to dodge the shit and worry about getting stabbed or raped.

Anyway I was unlucky enough to be stuck on one of the chavviest streets full of women who seemed to have nothing better to do than endlessly fire sprogs out of their dubious nether regions. Luckily my son and I no longer have to be scared of being mugged on the way to the shop, cause there are no shops where we have moved to and so no horrid stinking chav scum.

Buckingham is a small market town about 15 miles from that renowned concrete anthill, Milton Keynes. To the untrained eye, it seems like a rather lovely place to live – old buildings devoid of 1960s brutalism, two supermarkets, lots of little indie shops etc. But the only thing that’s good about it…is not living there.

Despite the posh name and appearance, Buckingham is an absolute hole. Unless you are a chav, there is piss all to do here. Everybody seems to be related to or fucking each other, and has more preteen mums than the average Bradford estate. There is zero nightlife, so the only place to go is Milton Keynes (Oceana) and obviously EVERYONE goes there.  Dare to walk through the town centre at any time of the day, and you will be greeted by WKD-swigging, Sovereign-smoking, 14-year-old residents of the council estates Westfields and Western Avenue, as well as the other no-go areas such as Anderton Road and Bourton Road. If your attire lacks any sporting attributes you will have “facking goff” hurled at you because obviously, anyone who ain’t a chav must be a goff. And Buckingham doesn’t like them, hence why most can be found in MK.

Bus services are an absolute joke, with a crummy metal hut posing as the “bus station” where one bus per hour stops if you’re lucky. Cornwalls Meadow car park is THE place to be on Saturday nights, where modified car owners hold their little cruises. Chandos Park is the most common shagging ground for the town’s residents, as well as the annual Charter Fair, where, despite the rides, is just another place for the WKD-swiggers to convene. Beatings, abuse, armed robberies all regularly take place in this regally-monikered hell hole. People here DO NOT WEAR TWEED. They style themselves after Jack Tweed, more like!

This dismal little excuse for a town is best avoided unless you desire to surround yourself with wannabe-cockney Shameless extras.

Hi, I live in Chesham, & I think that everything I read in the previous article about ‘this fine town’ is complete & utter………. truth.

I work in a shop in the town centre. I also, have the misfortune of living by the clock tower. (not by choice I must add) & towards the end of the day, when customers are few, I find myself staring aimlessly out of the window at what can only be described as a plethora of in-bread, moronic neanderthals, the likes of which are a flashback to medieval days. when questioned by the police about some rumpus in the town centre, all one can hear is some slaggy female of the species saying “Fuck off, I aint dunn nuffink” Of course it never occurred to the fat slagg that throwing beer glasses down the high street at 3am is not considered to be a good way to behave. As for a police presence in the town at night, well, there hasn’t been one since the Global closed down. apparently all the trouble stopped once that drug infested dump closed. (not). The only time one sees the police is if someone calls them. Though I must say that they do arrive very promptly. A countless number of teenage mothers wander aimlessly past my window, fags hanging from mouths, somtimes followed by the offspring’s father, (if that is, they know who the father is) staffordshire terrior at hand. (staffy = penis extention). I sometimes think that the poor dog should be wearing one of those T shirts that say “I’m with this idiot”. Indeed, although the dog may shit on the pavement, it still has more social graces than the twat on the other end of the lead. after all, a dog doesn’t know that it’s wrong to shag it’s sister. then again, neither do chav’s I guess.

This is my response to a post on here about High Wycombe being a Chav town.

Firstly I am a current and long standing resident in Micklefield High Wycombe.  This part of Wycombe was mentioned in the post as well as Downley and Castlefield.

Starting with Micklefield, I disagree with you on it being a predominantly quote “Black” area thats ruled by gangs.  Quite the contrary actually.  It is a multi racial area whose population consists of about equal numbers of Pakistani, English and Black Carribeans. There also may be some Scottish and Indian residents.

Secondly I dont agree with you that the area is ruled by gangs. Like any other residency in a suburban town, it has suffered some vandilsm and robbery, but these crimes are mainly being commited by jouvinilles.

In the last 5 years, the area has had recent redevelopment and about 200 modern and attractive appartments have been built.  This has attracted young professionals and first time buyers.

Onto Downly, you quoted the area being ruled by gangs.  Again like Micklefield the majority of crime in the area is caused by a small number of jouvinilles, and consists of vandelism, but the area is not quote ” ruled by gangs.”

The third area raised was Castlefield.  I agree with the previous post that this area used to have a high crime rate, and this mainly consisted of burglary.  But in the past 5 years, mainly due to increased policing, the crime rate for the area has considerably fallen.  And there is a large number of Pakistani residents in comparrison to other parts of High Wycombe, but the overall population of Castlefield still has a large number of English and Carribean living there.

Another opinion raised was that High Wycombe and the area of Slough has an ongoing quote “turf war.”  I am afraid the previous poster has been listening to too many hip hop songs.  A large proportion of High Wycombe’s population commute to and through Slough, with little tension between the neighbouring towns.  The turf war mentioned may be in reference to jouvinilles, who mainly are bunking off school and have nothing better to do.  But I can assure you there is certanly no reason to worry about travelling to and fro from High Wycombe to Slough for the majority of the residents in these neighbouring towns.

Lastly, I would like to raise the fact that High Wycombe as a whole is developing as we speak.  This is partly due to the attraction to the area because of its location.  A large number of commuters to London are moving to High Wycombe as its only 45 minutes away to the city.  New residential areas are being developed, as the one I mentiond earlier in Micklefield, and also a few business retail parks have also been developed.  As well as this the new shopping centre int the town centre has brought a lot of business and financiall stability to the area.

So my overall assesment to the High Wycombe area is that it is definately the place for you if you work in or near London, and also if you want the stabillity of living in town which has a good source of jobs.  I agree some crime does take place, but no more than any other suburban town, and which consists mainly of petit crime and vandelism from jouvinilles.

I do hope if you do read this, that you take my opinion as trustworthy and unbiased.  I have good experience of the area as I have lived here most of my life.

Yours truelly,

REV KEV, Micklefield resident.