When the local sex offenders aren’t assaulting you or offering to show you their genitalia – you’re treated to being followed home by groups of chavs who provide a constant stream of verbal and physical abuse, that or a mugging.

The pub is situated in the heart of the ‘local centre’, this means anyone innocently walking past the beer garden on a hot summers day is subjected to a torrent of drunken insults and offers of fights by chavs on their 8th pint of Stella Artois or bottle of blue wkd. There are also a surprizing number of people sporting shell suits and mullets who drink there, yeah.

The Co-op features prison-style barbed fencing around the roof following a break in and always has its shutters down as otherwise the local chavs brick the windows. During the evening the shop is inundated with druggies buying 10 cigarettes and Rizlas.

Anything made of wood is burnt to the ground and anything not nailed to the ground is theived. Hence the many derelict play parks in the area where the drug users out number kids playing.

I used to think people who drive to their local shops were just plain lazy, now I realise it’s to avoid as much of the chav scum tralling the streets desperately looking for something to hump steal or fight as possible.

By: dk

Much to my complete dismay I had the gross misfortune to spend two years of my life in this miserable shit-hole! Soon after I moved in to this town I bumped in to an aquaintance who informed me that it is known to locals as New Chav Hell. Going to the local Co op in the evening was like running the gauntlet past chavvy little urchins, who not only looked in dire need of a good wash, but also had the cheek to try and tap you for money, booze and fags.

In the Summer things just got worse as the sun brought them out to sit on the grass opposite the shops on the High Street, drinking their tramp juice (Special Brew during the day!!!) always with their big dogs. Nevermind being able to afford to look after their devil chav-spawn kids, as long as you can feed yer rottweilers! And yes, as you can imagine the streets are a veritable minefield of dog shite as these feeble minded fuckwits saunter around with their stinking, drooling hounds. An otherwise pleasant walk along the canal becomes frought with peril as you try to dodge the shit and worry about getting stabbed or raped.

Anyway I was unlucky enough to be stuck on one of the chavviest streets full of women who seemed to have nothing better to do than endlessly fire sprogs out of their dubious nether regions. Luckily my son and I no longer have to be scared of being mugged on the way to the shop, cause there are no shops where we have moved to and so no horrid stinking chav scum.

Buckingham is a small market town about 15 miles from that renowned concrete anthill, Milton Keynes. To the untrained eye, it seems like a rather lovely place to live – old buildings devoid of 1960s brutalism, two supermarkets, lots of little indie shops etc. But the only thing that’s good about it…is not living there.

Despite the posh name and appearance, Buckingham is an absolute hole. Unless you are a chav, there is piss all to do here. Everybody seems to be related to or f**king each other, and has more preteen mums than the average Bradford estate. There is zero nightlife, so the only place to go is Milton Keynes (Oceana) and obviously EVERYONE goes there.  Dare to walk through the town centre at any time of the day, and you will be greeted by WKD-swigging, Sovereign-smoking, 14-year-old residents of the council estates Westfields and Western Avenue, as well as the other no-go areas such as Anderton Road and Bourton Road. If your attire lacks any sporting attributes you will have “facking goff” hurled at you because obviously, anyone who ain’t a chav must be a goff. And Buckingham doesn’t like them, hence why most can be found in MK.

Bus services are an absolute joke, with a crummy metal hut posing as the “bus station” where one bus per hour stops if you’re lucky. Cornwalls Meadow car park is THE place to be on Saturday nights, where modified car owners hold their little cruises. Chandos Park is the most common shagging ground for the town’s residents, as well as the annual Charter Fair, where, despite the rides, is just another place for the WKD-swiggers to convene. Beatings, abuse, armed robberies all regularly take place in this regally-monikered hell hole. People here DO NOT WEAR TWEED. They style themselves after Jack Tweed, more like!

This dismal little excuse for a town is best avoided unless you desire to surround yourself with wannabe-cockney Shameless extras.

Hi, I live in Chesham, & I think that everything I read in the previous article about ‘this fine town’ is complete & utter………. truth.

I work in a shop in the town centre. I also, have the misfortune of living by the clock tower. (not by choice I must add) & towards the end of the day, when customers are few, I find myself staring aimlessly out of the window at what can only be described as a plethora of in-bread, moronic neanderthals, the likes of which are a flashback to medieval days. when questioned by the police about some rumpus in the town centre, all one can hear is some slaggy female of the species saying “f**k off, I aint dunn nuffink” Of course it never occurred to the fat slagg that throwing beer glasses down the high street at 3am is not considered to be a good way to behave. As for a police presence in the town at night, well, there hasn’t been one since the Global closed down. apparently all the trouble stopped once that drug infested dump closed. (not). The only time one sees the police is if someone calls them. Though I must say that they do arrive very promptly. A countless number of teenage mothers wander aimlessly past my window, fags hanging from mouths, somtimes followed by the offspring’s father, (if that is, they know who the father is) staffordshire terrior at hand. (staffy = penis extention). I sometimes think that the poor dog should be wearing one of those T shirts that say “I’m with this idiot”. Indeed, although the dog may shit on the pavement, it still has more social graces than the twat on the other end of the lead. after all, a dog doesn’t know that it’s wrong to shag it’s sister. then again, neither do chav’s I guess.

This is my response to a post on here about High Wycombe being a Chav town.

Firstly I am a current and long standing resident in Micklefield High Wycombe.  This part of Wycombe was mentioned in the post as well as Downley and Castlefield.

Starting with Micklefield, I disagree with you on it being a predominantly quote “Black” area thats ruled by gangs.  Quite the contrary actually.  It is a multi racial area whose population consists of about equal numbers of Pakistani, English and Black Carribeans. There also may be some Scottish and Indian residents.

Secondly I dont agree with you that the area is ruled by gangs. Like any other residency in a suburban town, it has suffered some vandilsm and robbery, but these crimes are mainly being commited by jouvinilles.

In the last 5 years, the area has had recent redevelopment and about 200 modern and attractive appartments have been built.  This has attracted young professionals and first time buyers.

Onto Downly, you quoted the area being ruled by gangs.  Again like Micklefield the majority of crime in the area is caused by a small number of jouvinilles, and consists of vandelism, but the area is not quote ” ruled by gangs.”

The third area raised was Castlefield.  I agree with the previous post that this area used to have a high crime rate, and this mainly consisted of burglary.  But in the past 5 years, mainly due to increased policing, the crime rate for the area has considerably fallen.  And there is a large number of Pakistani residents in comparrison to other parts of High Wycombe, but the overall population of Castlefield still has a large number of English and Carribean living there.

Another opinion raised was that High Wycombe and the area of Slough has an ongoing quote “turf war.”  I am afraid the previous poster has been listening to too many hip hop songs.  A large proportion of High Wycombe’s population commute to and through Slough, with little tension between the neighbouring towns.  The turf war mentioned may be in reference to jouvinilles, who mainly are bunking off school and have nothing better to do.  But I can assure you there is certanly no reason to worry about travelling to and fro from High Wycombe to Slough for the majority of the residents in these neighbouring towns.

Lastly, I would like to raise the fact that High Wycombe as a whole is developing as we speak.  This is partly due to the attraction to the area because of its location.  A large number of commuters to London are moving to High Wycombe as its only 45 minutes away to the city.  New residential areas are being developed, as the one I mentiond earlier in Micklefield, and also a few business retail parks have also been developed.  As well as this the new shopping centre int the town centre has brought a lot of business and financiall stability to the area.

So my overall assesment to the High Wycombe area is that it is definately the place for you if you work in or near London, and also if you want the stabillity of living in town which has a good source of jobs.  I agree some crime does take place, but no more than any other suburban town, and which consists mainly of petit crime and vandelism from jouvinilles.

I do hope if you do read this, that you take my opinion as trustworthy and unbiased.  I have good experience of the area as I have lived here most of my life.

Yours truelly,

REV KEV, Micklefield resident.

oh well,i’am trying to waste so much of my valuable time on the prehistoric pond life excrement that loiters in aylesbury.
whilst born and raised in the southcourt area,the observations on previous post are very much 99% correct.
the biggest empolyers in the town are the chavs and chavettes.whilst getting up for a days work of robbing,drug dealing and intimidation.
living on diets of wifebeater,skunk,and smack.all paid for by the working public.it is local folk ledgend that all orders over 30 quid in smack or skunk will be beliverd free of charge by some inept (travel company).
how we all should be glad to there employees,as they get us to do the graft,for them to reap the benifits.
but southcourt,is not the only area….walton court,elmhurst,etc.
as the summer months approach,what a delight.how i miss the lightness of the dark.burning rubbish bins,cars,and the occassional asian shopkeeper stating that it was a racist attack.

There are, like most places, two sides to this area of the Chilterns. The difference being, however, that they are actually physically separated by an almost steryotypical structure. The motorway bridge.

Though being a collection of villages rather than a town, Lane End and its surrounding Areas show just the sort of contrast and filthy overspill that seems rife in this country today.

My place of residence, just outside of Lane End is a lovely, quiet and thoroughly peaceful place, boasting two commons and some fine scenery. However, come with me on a walk through one of these commons and witness for yourself the reason why I have seen it fit to post an article here.

Wandering past the Chequers pub, where you will no doubt see a gang of obese, acne-ridden teenage mothers blowing smoke in their offsprings faces, you will see in front of you a bridge. It extends over a flaming river of hot lava, guarded by harpies with hair-cuts that look like a blonde badger has taken it upon itself to stand on its hind legs, grow thumbs and dress itself in sports clothing. To cross this bridge into Lane End is a daunting process, usually passing a cut-price hooded grim reaper on a shit bike and recieveing copious amounts of abuse from said party. after making it over to the other side, see the yellowing grass, graffiti’d road signs and the rusted hulk of the electricity box peeking its ugly head from behind some brick-wheeled cars. turn left now and come closer to the gates of hell. “congregation corner” is up next, opposite the quite frankly appalling “cans” off license, where you can bear witness to such jolly advertisement campaigns as “Wine, 3 bottles £5″ and “VODKA, £2.50″. This is where most muggings occur, as well as the occasional light-hearted setting someone on fire. I shit you not. An endless stream of cars come out of the estate to park in the lay-by to drop their staggering cargo into the offie for a refill. As many as fifty chavs can gather on the corner outside the estate, smashing car windows and doing “doughnuts” on their hairdryers, bawling any number of badly structured insults at anyone who isn’t standing right next to them, right at that moment.

I could continue into the estate at this point but, fearing for my life, I return home, only to find a crate’s worth of empty white star cans on my front lawn, and the same volume of stella cans on the grass verge. to make matters worse, I’ve been f**king burgled. That’s right, from time to time the estate residents like to branch off from their festering, inbred spawning grounds and cause mayhem in otherwise nice areas. The other week a gang of pikeys started squatting in a pub that had been closed down. Shortly after the news that they had moved in, there were of course a speight of robberies. Add this to the fact the local area of outstanding natural beauty has been turned into a make-shift mini dirtbike racing circuit and handy fly-tipping site and you’ve got yourself a corker of a place, don’t you agree?

due to the lack of funds to holiday somewhere exotic like indonesia or comoros, i recently got myself a zone 1-6D travelcard and a few bus/rail tickets to tour the area west of london.

it started off great. slough has the most spendiferous selection of hot chicks. gangs of cute chinese girls, the most awesome-looking filipinas, gorgeous indian girls everywhere, with the non-asian girls equally ravishing.
continuing through scenic towns like henley-on-thames, then heading northwards towards amersham, i thought i was in for a lovely quiet journey through green landscapes and pretty little villages.

then, at the top of the hill just before high wycombe a tall, skinny, druggie-looking chav complete with prototype mannerisms and chavalicious fashion sense entered the bus, greeting the ageing driver with a loud but friendly “safe boss”. he continued to harrass the driver with helpful statements such as “come ON, buddy!”, “get on with it bruv”. i’m not quite sure why this unemployed loafer was in such a hurry, but the driver took no notice of him.

to my surprise the whole place, and it’s a pretty hideous-looking place too, was completely infested with these kevs, whether it be the tall skinny druggie variety or the short, neat, slimy-looking ones with chav attitude to match even the most ridiculous essex lads.
what makes high wycombe a chav capital with a difference is the fact that it has retained some of that good ole thing called “ragga”.
i saw man-o-man walking the streets in a late 80s stylee, as spotted in lewisham 1989, and there were indications of high wycombe moving up the mixed-race ranking list too. the place may not yet be approaching mixed-race capitals like shottingham or croydon, but it’s already there, in SPIRIT.
the white dudes walking around the place reminded me very much of your stereotypical bus-jacking, house-theiving mixed-race skunk dealer found in ladbroke grove during the mid-90s.

so what’s stopping high wycombe from being at the very pinnacle of chavdom? well.. please correct me if i’m wrong, but the high wycombe LADIES still have some way to go before they reach the 13-year-old pram-pushing status of the loud, crazy and totally out-of-control chavettes hanging around the run-down pikey shithole that is Tilbury.

Ahhh, Chesham, My lovely hometown..

If you’ve ever been there you will know what a nice little town it is. Nestled in the countryside, yet only half an hour away from the outskirts of the Capital…
Yes, the town itself is not a bad little town.

However, there is a dark side.. I’[ve lived in Chesham my whole life so far (nearly 19 years) and although I love my town, the people in it are not so respectable.

Take a typical Friday night. Most Chavs/Chavettes will start off in the Red. Playing pool, drinking etc until the time calls for the long walk down the highstreet. The chav blokes in their lonsdale hoodies, cheap jeans and even cheaper aftershave the chav ”laydees” letting it all hang out in a belt of a denim skirt, hair scraped back to reaveal the foundation tide marks beneath the usually gelled strands that hang down their face, a tight lycra top thats low cut and reveals their fat pierced midriffs and of course the tacky black heels that are too big.
Down the the Global they go, to get even more pissed and start fights.

Or you could take a normal Saturday afternoon. Wander around town, look at the shops, grab some lunch, play a game or two of ‘spot the teen chav mother’ which isnt a difficult game as they seem to have a problem with contraception (but, on the flip side, evidently not, as the amount of times I’ve wandered through the park and found used condoms assures me)
I wouldnt go into the park on a Saturday afternoon.

Infact I’m scared to walk my dogs in the evenings up at Lowndes park for fear of being stabbed (I have nearly been stabbed in the park before by our asian friends)
On the up side, atleast gun crime hasnt got here yet…

There are a few famous people that haunt chasham (famous for going in and out of jail, being general slags, fighting or all of the above) Kev Pacey, Gareth Hanchant, The Walker Brothers etc etc etc

Chesham is a shithole, it really is. Chavs and Chavettes starting fights here there and everywhere, 7 year old chavlings smoking and spitting at passers by..
But I s’pose Chesham is my shithole. Its not the town, its the Chavs in it.