Years ago this was a quiet and cosy little town until one day an animal known as the “chav” decided to pullover its stolen caravan and settle down here. Unfortunately this vermin species bred like flies before it could be spayed by a veterinarian. Within months the chavs took over and made a quiet town into a complete s**thole, terrorising innocent pedestrians. The chav can be seen all over the town usually sporting a flat cap (even in the heat of summer) and wearing tracksuits with countless items of “bling” as they call it, from argos. The most notorious chav hangout is the Tesco. Here teen chavs with their pregnant 13 year old girlfriends can be seen harassing innocent shoppers, as even the weediest chavs think that they are professional ufc fighters when in groups. Living in Hailsham is an immense displeasure. The only way the government can clean up this town is by legalising chav hunting.
By: pete

UPDATED from http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/2004/12/hailsham-east-sussex/

This town must be the birhtplace of the Chav!!!

Why??? We have known the “chav” word for ages…decades in fact…..it has always been an insult to be called a chav and many a fight has broken out because of it…….

Hailsham is very near to Eastbourne, but in terms of Chav development…….Hailsham is Light years ahead of anywhere in the area.

A guided tour:_

Chav hangouts:

War Memorial in the centre of town….Any evening of the week you can find the local Chav youth hanging out here. It used to be the place where you could go to get drunk. Very clever the Hailsham Chav’s they just *allegedly* rob the local shop…used to be Spar…right across the road and sit round the memorial getting drunk on the booze they stole. Now most of the Chav tend to stay away from the town center as the police have finally picked up the fact of what they do, so now the Chav cause mayhem everywhere else. Instead you tend to get the younger hood hanging there, and if not at the War Memorial they are straight arcoss the road outside costcutters, trying to force over 18 people to buy them fags and vodka.

Leisure Centre/Community centre, yes, the Hailsham chav’s even have the inclination to hang out by the leisure centre. It’s called the Lagoon this is usually a meeting place for the chavettes. Sunday nights are 5 a side football league nights for the chav dads…..we’ve got it all going on in Hailsham.

Local park or Wreck as in Eastbourne…..the summer meeting place of the local youth. You can find them sitting on the merry go round just smoking or getting drunk. Usual place for a shag as well.

Horsebridge wreck…yet another hangout for them, this is for the chavs who live on the other side of town…the so called posher end!

Council offices….very popular of a daytime…they provide customer services for chavs. A must see on the map of Hailsham.

Health centre…for an idea of the extent to which the chavs have intergrated in this town….just stand outside and watch and listen….you will truly be amazed.

Common Pond…..Common being the operative word…..even the ducks wear fake burberry and bling bling……..if you think that’s bad…check out the swans!

Redrow… Next to the second lake in Hailsham called Lakeside is a large field that the local hood have called Redrow. This is the number one place for a chav hangout as right next to this field is a small woods, where if the chavs want to get away from the police they simly take the back door and exit through this woods.

Quintins Shopping centre/ St mary’s walk.
These deserve a special note of attention…This is chav haven as far as Hailsham is concerned. You get a chav every 30 seconds here. Chav mums, Chav grans, Chave great grans….Chav generations flock here. The Co-op….chav central of a weekend. In fact the Co-op is *allegedly* run by the chavs! Annabelles the restaurant……more like caff (in my opinion). Well if you can see through the haze of smoke..you’ll find all manner of chavs in there…they come to discuss life on the dole and chavgossip over a fag, full english breakfast, fag, and a cup of tea with a fag. The pound shop and the charity shops are really popular as is the world renowned designer store Quality seconds or QS to you and me…..I’m sure you all know it…the chavs certainly do.

Chav pubs….(Allegedly) The Terminus/The George(*allegedly* sadly burnt by its *alleged* chav owner) The Corn exchange/The Grenadier and another one opposite the Bp garage on south rd….can’t remember the name…these are really popular with the chav’s.

Chav takeaways….Lucky Star is *allegedly* your one stop for chav chinese and chicken and chips.
Kemer kebab….locally famous *allegedly* for the older chav mum’s who want to get a bit more than a kebab late at night!!
Ken’s Fish and Chips….yes, you should see the queues on a Friday night…chav’s come form all around to get their fish and chips here.
Now the newly build Simpsons chicken that replaced part of the costcutters store, is heaven for chavs, they are always in and out of that place.

Supermarkets.. Now that a massive tescos store has been build, this attracts the chavs like flies, and now they stand just outside tesco’s of a late evening trying to steal sweets and alcohol and if not steal then again annoy over 18′s to buy them vodka. 
Also a small Icelands has replaced woolworths, once again the chavs are always trying to buy, steal or get over 18′s to get them some form of alcoholic substance, even if its some of the cheap crap that they sell.

Chav Schools

Marshlands (junior school) Education Chav style

Hailsham Community College (ex Battle Rd) 12-18 Chavs

Chav Estates

Town Farm…breeding ground of the Chav
Diplocks….breeding ground of the lesser Chav

THE DUMP……/ PIKEY PARK

This deserves a special mention….this is run by the CHAV MAFIA…you don’t want to mess with them….even their dogs are hard….the Chav Mafia live next door on the Pikey Park…No houses for them…they still prefer the caravan…..Locals know to steer well clear of this area…there’s town chav’s then caravan chav’s..even the town chav’s don’t mess with the caravan ones.

There is an official chav uniform of trackky bottoms and a jumper….adidas is the preferred one. Used to be Nike, but that went out of fashion. The original chav mum uniform of leggings and a jumper with baby in push chair can still be seen on the streets of Hailsahm….sadly this is becoming a rarity nowadays.
Just to let you know……

Hailsham is the Chav cultural centre of the world, because we have had chav’s in this town for 1396….certain family names….(I will not mention on this site )are famous in the town. They are deeply embeded in the town history. They have been here for generations and there are loads of them……Even the police run scared of certain family names……I s**t you not.

Hailsham has to be one of the birthplaces of the chav…..

If you chat to someone and mention there’s a particular area of the Town Centre that you feel very uncomfortable in even in daytime , they will usually chip in that it is the area between M & S and KFC .
Given the obvious issues in other streets nearby, it’s interesting that regardless of age, gender, race or sexuality this particular spot is mentioned above all others.
There’s a menacing feel to it, personally I think much is to do with the cafe table outside a particular shop where Eastern Europeans gather in all weathers & stare with hatred at local passers-by.
I’m not easily spooked having grown up overseas in Muslim countries where I was always the minority. In 15years of that I NEVER felt anything close to what I feel now and have for the last 3years walking on that bit of street.