This has to be one of the worst places to be.

People familiar with Bognor will know about the nightclub on the pier called Sheiks. Well they have now changed this to Visions but no-one took any notice!
Firstly it is the only club in the UK where the toilets are outside accross what can only be described as some sort of veranda… and the toilets themselves just large versions of portaloo’s!

As if this wasn’t bad enough you will undoubtedly bump into numerous cap wearing, elizabeth duke bling, burberry sporting, shaven headed pond life…. not to mention the odd Polish clan.
They will promptly ask you “please kind sir do you have a lighter by chance, or perhaps a spare cigarette about your person” if your answer is negative in any way you will receive a reply which sounds as appealing as scratching one’s nails down a chalkboard.

In short, everyone looks slightly inbred and if you were to touch them i imagine they are sticky and smell of lynx africa….

Sheiks in Bognor Regis…. Not the 8th wonder of the world.

Read this rubbish penned on this ‘word on the street’ about Chichester. It’s an estate agents’ site and they won’t print my truthful account of life in Chichester… not surprising, since it is at variance with the image they like to project.

[quote]… Safe, with easy connections to London. South Downs and Goodwood 2 miles away, sea 4 miles. Heaven – who needs more!
Miss A Anderson [/quote]

Safe is it, Miss Anderson? I was beaten up on several occasions by yobs who knew me and were jealous of me. I also could not sleep at night for fear of having my property vandalised by ex public school dimbos. The police would do NOTHING, because one of their dads was a local bigwig.

Easy connections? Rubbish, unless you want to go to Portsmouth. It’s cut right off from everything and is backward as a result.

More rubbish, penned probably by an estate agent. I ‘tried’ it for years, too long, because i thought things could only get better, but they got worse, much worse. The place is full of ex public school thickos, whose arrogance is unbounded. Add to that the feudal Tory attitudes there, and you have a thoroughly awful concoction. Friendly? That’s a sick joke.

Crawley in West Sussex is a total and utter toilet, from the ghetto`s of bewbush and broadfield to the chav magnet of the leasure park. If you are white, own a house and have a job you are certainly in the minority. Walk around the town centre and take a look at the abundance of little slags with their double buggies, elizabeth duke pykey gold,fake designer clothes and the obligatory wanna be gangster boyfriend with his chaved up nova/corsa/pug 106.I really cant think of a more depressing place, it truely is that bad.

Well, What can i say?? Well Loads actually and its all sh*t!  Lets start with the vile campsite! Burberry Central!!! You cant go anywhere on the camp without bumping into a fat, shaven headed prat, who is wearing all the jewelery from the latest addition of the argos catalogue, taking their annual hols from Nelson Mandela house, Peckham. They will tell anyone who will listen that they earn a fortune and that they own a caravan there!!! (why on earth would you want to do that??) and after thay have flashed their 15 rings on each finger at you, they speed away in their J reg Pajero!! The Women are just as bad, and brawl and shout in their awful south london accent whilst trying to find a spare piece of skin, (there is a lot of it!)  to have their newest tattoo, usually of a rose with their 18 kids names on it or some mysterious chinese writing that really means ‘i am a tw*t’….. Anyway, thats enough of the nicer element, let talk about the village!

The village is viler than vile itself!!  The pubs are full of locals, with their ridiculous 70s moustaches, Pot bellies, and wearing the latest ‘clothing co’ collection, (and thats just the women), Actually, when i say full, i mean about 4 or 5 in the crown, snarling at whoever dares enter. and thats disco night!!
The people that live there are soooooo sad and unhappy its untrue. They have all moved down from some london suburb to escape some love triangle.. or the police….. or even both!  They bitch and interfere in everybodys lives because theirs are so uninteresting and dull.  The majority of the locals are all shagging each other, and are a set of hypocrites.
Selsey needs to be claimed by the sea, to put them all out of their misery!!