Bath is a small city in Somerset that tourists from all over the world visit to see the Roman Baths and Georgian Architecture. They are lucky because they only visit for a day – some people have to live here which I did for 7 years. It is full of some of the most unfriendly people in England, (and that doesn’t even include the chavs!) The chavs live in areas such as Twerton and Whiteway where riding stolen mopeds and motorbikes is popular. Another favourite pastime is beating strangers up with baseball bats or iron bars. They like to congregate in Kingsmead Square where they have fights with chavs from towns like Trowbridge and Chippenham. The older chavs go to the Lamb and Lion where cheap booze and even cheaper 16 year old chavettes are on offer. They have the worst Somerset accent which is chavved to the max and say things like “where’s that to?” and “10 lamburt butla me luvva!”. For an after hours fight they go to XL’s nightclub (formely Cadillacs). The shopping centre is being redeveloped but there is still a Sports World and more mobile phone shops than in Japan. There’s a McDonalds which always seems to have it’s windows smashed in. A guy was attacked outside here a few years ago by a gang of chavs who he accidentally made eye contact with. They also used a stun gun on him. Not all chavs in Bath can afford these and can’t even afford pizza. This explains why a man was attacked in the Homebase car park and had his jaw broken. The 2 chavs stole his takeaway pizza! Bath also has dozens of homeless street drinkers and druggies and the most aggressive beggars in the Western world – “spare 12p for tha night shelter mate?”. Also, more people in Bath support Man Utd, Chelsea and Arsenal than anywhere else in the world – which is why Bath City FC are still non-league!
Bath – lovely for a day trip, but don’t miss the last train out of town!
chav’s the retards have infested everycorener of bristol now! you can’t even go for an old fashioned big mac with out hundreds of the fake burberry clad morons making the place look like a shit hole. they think they are above the law we need concentration camps for chavs have done with them they aint nothign special just a jumped up bunch of nobodys but when it’s in your face and on your doorstep something needs to be done! they have even started employing chavs this is how low england has sunk who would employ a chav to deliver things seriouselly they’ve probably stole most of the stock and sold it for fags or fake burberry from the markett god damn you f**king morons and your fake burberry.
chavs are like decaying peices of cheese nobody wants them nobody loves them but the smells always there.
chav haters of yate
Continue reading “the downfall of my town – yate” »
I had occasion to visit my daughter in Bristol a week ago & was instantly aware of something not quite right about the place. No Chavs! In my entire four day visit I saw not one baseball cap worn with the peak above the standard 90 degrees to the forehead. Tracksuit bottoms were worn outside of socks & even the local J.D Wetherspoons contained only regular folk enjoying a quiet drink.
On visiting some other local licensed premises, not one person enquired as to “What I was f**king looking at?” even though my accent betrayed me as a thicko Northerner.
We visited the Cribb’s Causeway shopping centre & again the place was Chavless. In my home town of Hull, security staff would be employed full time squeegeeing Burberry slime off the mall’s walkways & engaging in a spot of Scally slapping as they ejected the vermin.
My question. What is Bristol’s secret? Does the local counsel employ full time Chav exterminators or is there something more evil lurking unseen by daytime folk which has eradicated this blight of less fortunate cities?
If anyone knows, prey tell, & I will pass the information onto the city council of Hull
Chav Nirvana – Where everybody will be your “Luuuuvvvverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”
Staple Hill/Kingswood. OK so imagine that you are the product of inbreeding. Not only this but as a child you were repeatedly dropped on your head from the 40th floor of the local council flats. Also picture coming down off a 78 hour drug fuelled binge, 20 litres of White Lightening for breakfast and then factor in that you suffer from severe learning difficulties. If you add all of these basic components together you can generally get a pretty good idea of the average Staple Hill/ Kingswood Chav/vette.
If any of you have the misfortune to come through Bristol, I would strongly advise you not to stop in this cesspool of iniquity. However, if your curiosity gets the better of you I would recommend visiting the following places.
The Staple Hill Oak: Here the great and the good of the Staple Hill Chav glitterati can be viewed in there natural habitat. From 11am onwards the place is packed to the rafters with Chav/vettes.
Chasers (kingswood): Here the Chav/vettes can be seen conducting their bizarre mating rituals. This normally includes downing around 15 pints of Stella, making your way to the dance floor and then rubbing your genitals against anything that moves. Chasers is a prime meat market and if you also have any Chav hating issues is a great place to be on a Friday/Saturday night as fights are always guaranteed.
All in all Bristol and its surrounding areas are a wonderful place to observe the recent phenomenon of the Chav. They can be seen on virtually every street of this once great city, omnipresent springs to mind. Bristol may not be the Chav capital of the UK but it is certainly up there. It is a must for all committed observers of the Chav.
Continue reading “Bristol, Staple Hill/Kingswood” »