ChavTowns
Username Remember Me?
Password
Register

Archive for the ‘Dorset’ Category

Hamworthy,Poole ‘oh to be in Hamworthy in autumn when the chippy’s shut…’

Posted on: December 12th, 2005 by admin 4 Comments

Lying the wrong side of the water in Poole Harbour(which takes some doing in itself),lies my dear home suburb,Hamworthy.Even in the chav Utopia of Poole,Hamworthy is noted for a glut of super-chavs; uber-chavs,even-,capable of striking fear into the heart of even the hardiest devotee of TKMax or Wilko’s..
In the same way one best sees the Sahara by camel rather than Land Rover,it’s best to visit by local means;namely the number 91 bus,which every 10 minutes reluctantly leaves it’s own chav bastion of Poole bus-station,enroute to the Eden of chavdom..Turlin Moor estate..In the 15minute safari that is the journey,numerous sitings of jitracks(Hamworthy-speak for chavs) can arise..perhaps at Carter Community School(chav Eton),or Poole Quay(the chav Riviera)…invariably the most activity is to be found at the crossroads of Coles Ave.and Blandford Road..the crossroads of Hades..
Whilst the bus waits for 23-stone(3 stones of which are earrings) honey Sandra to disembark with her 8seater pushchair(all the while screaming “TYLER!!!GET BACK IN THAT SEAT,YER LIDDLE BAARRRSTARRRD!!!!”),we look to the left and observe the Liberal Club,replete with it’s bench of callow youths in white adidas,checked caps,and mopeds seemingly built from Meccano..a glance to the right sees the Co-op.festtoned with a dozen or so sozzled jitracks clutching WKD’s and tripping over their lower jaws..meanwhile another platoon of spotty ne’r do wells are in the process of blocking Sandra’s chip-stop..cue much braying and spilling of ketchup..
Minutes later we arrive at Turlin Moor,and a palpable air of dread(or is it TommyHilfiger?)fills the bus..at this point it all gets hazy,due to being knocked out by a hail of missiles flying into the bus like anti-tank rounds..the fake-Burberry clad yobs aim helped by the speed-bumps every 10yards reducing the bus to a crawl…
So why do i still live here ?..voyeurism?..character-building?..latent masochism?…probably all 3,plus i’m a berk..
NB;Poole Council has lately changed it’s spurious logo”POOLE-IT’S A BEAUTIFUL PLACE” to the vaguer “POOLE-IT’S HAPPENING NOW”..we aren’t told what “IT” is,but it doesn’t sound nice…

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 10.0/10 (2 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)

Poole (Dorset)

Posted on: November 7th, 2005 by admin 3 Comments

Poole- The So called Beautiful Place! (Not)!
Here is an insight to a day and Night in Poole, for those that have cars you are always held up by bling chavs that think its cool to drive like knobs and for those that dont then you have to use the Chavtransporter-(The Bus) which i hate to say is full of them, they sit there and talk about absolute crap and then decide to terrify the elderley! Amongst these Chavs and who are Chavs are the 15yr old single mums who shop all day with taxpayers money instead of being the mature people they are meant to be.
Shops include Wilkinson, breeding ground for Chavs in the not so famous Dolphin Shopping centre and then there is the dingy so called Restaurant Clipper which is a shithole!
Stepping onto the highstreet you Pass chavs that stand there with cans of Stella and spitting everywhere,you pass the Gypsey Women selling Heather and when you politly say no they begin to get violent.
If you park in the carparks always take the lifts as they smell offensively of Urine!!
Passing Mcdonalds,Burger King,Wimpey and KFC you see all of them sitting in there causing extreme Chaos.
It begins to get dark now, Ready for an evening out? or Not so sure? well you could start in Yates on the high street where all the bar staff are Chav tarts and the Manager is a Slime Ball-King Of the Chavs, He welcomes them with open arms! Pretending to be God! well he is god of all Wankers!
Moving on down the dirty high street you are passing 12yr olds dressed like wannabee tottys.
Turning onto the Quay you have a choice of Going into Oyster Quay which is run by a bigheaded Fat Man who is Pimping his Bar Staff and the over priced drinks are just a laugh.
You can then stroll into The Jolly Sailor and mingle with the Rough end of society.
Goodnight!

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

Bournemouth, Dorset

Posted on: November 7th, 2005 by admin 31 Comments

well basically its not your typical council tower blocks kinda place. when everyone thinks of Bournemouth they think Sunny Sunny Bournemouth, its more like crappy crappy Bournemouth. When you’ve lived there for 16yrs of your life the pleasentness would of worn off years ago.
You get to know about the rough areas such as Kinson, Winton, West Howe, East Howe, Ensbury Park, Charminster, Throot, Boscombe, Southbourne, Beaufort and who can forget the town centre. So basically is the whole area….
I think recently Bournemouth was voted a great place to live on a big pole…What the hell happened there then? if the chavs aren’t at the local shops they’ll be on the corners, if they’re not on the corners they’ll be at the parks, if not there then you better fu***ng run home cuz they’ll be following you.
Yeah its true the housing areas are better and we don’t have tower blocks but that doesn’t mean life gets better than in Birmingham or any other crap whole of England… not saying that the sun doesn’t shine out of Birminghams arse but its not that bloody great. I used to be one of ‘em when i was a lil’ shit and i live in a nicer area than some of the proud Bournemouth area. and these films coming out just ain’t helping like Green Street and Football Factory. All its f**king doing people is physcing up these assholels.
I know all the crew on my road and we all used to skate together and do random shit. Now all i see ‘em doing is just fuc***g around on the corner with crappy cars and lawnmower mopeds. don’t they understand they SOUND CRAP, LOOK CRAP, ARE CRAP.
So now onto the street life, well by day as you would expect you don’t see much happening but it is i can assure you, whenever they look at you when you walk past trying to look hard or being territorial over there sh** whole area of a playground you should just be happy they aren’t drunk or high because they wouldn’t just stand there….they’d run and kick fu** out of you. In Bournemouth we also have the beautiful ‘Bournemouth Gardens’ where by day people sunbathe and foreign students play football on…at night its more like people are lying on the ground drunk off there faces, or they need to go to hospital from heroine overdose or they need medical attention from being beaten the shit out of. also those foreign students who were playing football are normally the ones being chased, harrassed, or being beaten the shit out of. Its also a fact that Bournemouth is right up there with the drug ratings in the country and of course the chavs have a nice influence on that sh**. They’re right in there, they like to get drunk and high or sniff some glue or powder before they come out so they then have the flexibility of hitting someone on the bus, street, club, gardens or all of ‘em if they’re lucky!
Then we come to arsehole of the arsehole….(Boscmbe, Bournemouth) now i am normally just going through there on the well known Yellow Buses going to Bournemouth for a night out with the lads but everyone knows about Boscombe and there gangs, crews, drugs, prostitutes, bums, etc. Boscombe has it all…. anything sh*t you can imagine, it’ll be there. I’ve heard of guns being fired, people being stabbed, friends getting jumped.
The chav culture is very much alive here as much as the estate agents and T.V. tell us how perfect it is, how the Conservative Party likes to have conferences here, we’re having a surf reef built, we have big artists coming to the B.I.C. (Bournemouth International Centre) to play gigs and may i just say AMUSEMENT PARKS we have the biggest right down at the bottom of Bournemouth Gardens at the Beach…. theres a whole damn building made for it and i suspect the councillors of Bournemouth are chav orientated aswell and deal with all the drugs aswell. We have spent over 6 years to get this surf reef…whats happened to that, apparently we’ve got that now but i reakon we’re paying for this stuckup fat pricks to be smoking everything they can for 4 years then there’s the IMAX cinema complex (a massive stupid building they decided to build on the seafront) which no-one wanted, the whole of Bournemouth basically said they didn’t want it yet the drugged up fat bas***rds went ahead and built it anyways.
Now, to the next chapter of my story the world famous East / West Howe / Winton chapter. we don’t hear much of East Howe anymore but we all know its probably because they’re building an underground army of chavs combined with squirrels but back to West Howe…

West Howe Crew…..the problems

1. there are millions of the lil’ fuc**rs
2. they’re split up into different groups
3. there are fu** loads of groups
4. they’ve like, strategically split up into all the different schools around Bournemouth..no escape
5. they no no boundarys
6. they’re well equipt
7. this goes on so i’ll stop here

basically they’re everywhere…..

okay so im gonna quit my moaning i couldn’t care less about them no more and to be honest i have quite a few friends who are chavs, i’ve been brought u with the culture (im not in it) but people need to know that Bournemouth ain’t the Heaven of this Earth, its the hidden, properganda altered lil crap of the South West of England….its not as sunny as people say it is….oh yeah btw

ENGLAND IS LIKE SUNNY 10% OF THE YEAR SO NO WHERE IS SUNNY

later mate

__________________________________________

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 7.0/10 (9 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)

Marnhull (Dorset)

Posted on: August 19th, 2005 by 6 Comments

If you want me to sum up Marnhull in two words all i will tell you is its a shit hole. Marnhull is a very small place with a small population of people but at night you hear the roaring of cars and loud laughs of chavs heading down the park. All the chav scum stand there in there social groups. No skaters goths or anyone in fact would dare think of heading down there at night, the kids park is over taken by drug users/sellers and the skate park is filled up the with the younger chavs drinking and acting hard around the older chavs. The skaters are forced of there own territory (skate park) and punk and goths fear to go out for there own safety…well that and thats the only place where they can get away from them. i really dont if its because they think there “wellard” or that its “well cool” either way they just look like complete and utter arseholes, and i think you will agree with me when i say they should all imagrated to a small bare scorching desert island with nothing but tomato puree and a toothbrush surronded buy 40 miles of shark infested ocean! Its what they deserve nothing but good old fasioned LABOUR! Then the world would be a better place where skate punk and goth ruled the wourld and parents could live without fear of ther childrens safety. THANKYOU FOR READING THIS.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast)
VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

Shaftesbury (dorset)

Posted on: August 19th, 2005 by admin 1 Comment

A question often asked is what are chavs? Visit shaftesbury and you WILL find out! You need to follow the fag ash and the loud crys of “shut it u minga” this should lead to tesco where they creep around outside untill 1:00am swearing and telling people that “they didnt do nothin or nothin”. The police often move these creatures of the night but like a homing pigeon they always return where as they should of broken there wings before they get chance to return. You know where chavs are when you see people running in the opposite direction as soon as you smell there perfume make a run otherwise they will tie you up with fake burburry matirial and strap you to a chair. I recomend staying well away from these…things, you wouldnt want to catch a disease its not good in the end your fingers fall off…uhh. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND TOOK MY ADVICE ABOUT THIS ARTICLE!!! thankyou

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)