Chavtowns – Britain's worst places to live!

Carr vale is a small village in the bourgh or Bolsover. This is one of 2 main places where chavs come from in Bolsover, the other being the ‘whimps’. It is said by many residents that the house are sliding down the hill, this is backed up by the fact that many residents are unable to get house insurance because of this, and the fact that they have no money. At the bottom of carr vale is ‘new bolsover’ or the model village, this is were the 10 year old chavs spend there days, saying such quotes as ‘fackin cam on den!’ when there 10 miles away from you. They tend to walk around with there tracky bottoms around there ankles and with there hands down the front of there trousers.

Worksop, it’s a real charmer of a Chav Town.  The youth of this town of this place almost make one contemplate suicide as a means of avoiding contact with this East Midlands variety of low-life.  Car theft, shop-lifting, endemic violence, fear of working for a living are the attributes of this god forsaken place.  How on earth I managed to end up here I’m still trying to fathom.  The chavs here will eventually into walrus shaped creatures sitting on mobility scooters queing for their state benefit handouts, smoking, consuming as much lard as their bodies can stand and generally being a pointless grease spot on the face of mankind.  Oh come ye bombs and rain down on Woeksop.

Spondon has long been the fortress of Derby to the chav mongrols, but is slowly being taken over by the chav scurge. Spondon is an odd place, as half of the suburb is a stinking shit hole of a council estate – with such delights as plastic garden ornaments on roofs (perferably from argos) and an accumulated IQ of 0.5. However, the other half is generally a nice place apart from certain hotspots of chav activity.

One of these places is Brunswood park – a favourate for the chav filth to drink what can only be described as alcohol flavoured lemonade in a suspicious light green bottle. The pathetic park equipment is broken at least twice a day and the kerbs of the surrounding streets are heavily occupied by chavs (please note to watch your step in these areas as various bodily liquids can be found underfoot). This is made worse by the local corner shop (predictably owned by indians who would snap your hand off for half a piece of dung), which acts as the focal point for chavs – one of the best sitting areas being the bin outside very much like flies around shit. When walking past this shop, be prepared to be stared at by some inferior chavlings who look in every direction but eachother.

The policing in the area is also very chav-supporting – having a good laugh with the pits of society while ignoring their various crimes in the process.

I highly recommend the precint (a line of dilapidated shops) if your looking for a quick shag behind the post office (the earlier your preggers the better!).

well, I found myself unfortunate to live in Boston for eight, nearly nine years. I’ve lived in a lot of places; some good some bad. In Scotland, Wales and England I’ve lived and worked in some towns, some mentioned on this site so I can say honestly that Boston is without doubt ‘as rough as rats’. I’m a Lincolshire lad myself so it pains me to say that this place is chav nirvana. It’s almost like a parody of a chavtown, every bad thing done to excess. After washing the blood off my front door for the umpteenth time (I used to live in Vauxhall Rd near the footy ground) and wiping the phlegm off my shoes once again after walking the pavements I decided to get out. No more twats trying to cycle through me on the pavement, no more dodging the skagheads and drunks trying to force money out of me when I went for a drink, no more wasters begging for drug money while eastern europeans were drafed in to work in the fields because the locals prefer to scrounge, no more burglars trying to get into my shed. It’s like a huge weight lifted; honestly, leaving this place has been good for my health. All the chavs who sit in the marketplace roundabout screaming at everyone; all the losers getting blasted in ‘The Still’, all the idiots driving their citroen saxos up and down outside the shops; you’re doomed to stay there and that’s your tragedy.

Well Heanor where do I start it is an old market town which use to have a thriving community it once had a market that filled the whole town centre up but now theres just a few frames of stalls, a butchers van and a jacket potato stand this is the perfect hang out for the chav as its got something to climb on, benches, a source of food and a man to terorise but this isnt all of it across the streat from the market are the towns main takeaways Dominos pizza Crest of the wave chip shop and Uk fried chicken well here is a description of the three main takeaways ( there are around 20 alltogether and the population is only 23000)

Domminos pizza
This is the newest “corporation” in Heanor after tesco, gregs, aldi,instore and home bargains all chav favourites you may note Domminos has provided jobs for some chavs who want to get free pizza or are forced to for work there by the judge (allegedly*). I have to say they do make a good pizza there.

Crest of the wave ship shop

Well there are two sections in this “Restuarnt” the take away section where all the chavs come in to collect there sunday lunch and the back sit down area where familys and old people come to have a traditional meal of fish and chips its a realy nice place to go for your dinner but it burnt down recently all the police are saying is suspicious (allegedly*), so a chav probably petrol bombed it or chucked a spliff at we just dont know all we know is that its the second building on that sterat to burn down recently, the last place was knock of ghetto other wise know as the cossy market (which is becoming a william hill bookies so now within 50 metrers of each other a william hill, ladbrokes and betfred)

Uk fried chicken

As far as I know this is the chavs favourite hang out as it does fast food cheaply the chavs go in call the foreign owners nasty racist names then leave with the food they’ve prepared it makes no sense to me.

Most of the chavs in heanor are aged between 2 – 40 bellow that age of 2 the children arent alowed out on the streets yet to young YES I have seen toddlers drinking on streat corners at around 10 at night this normaly happens in langley mill which is also on chav towns. Most people now only live to 40 in this area after this they pay to move to spain with money they’ve made dealing drugs or got from insurance fraud.
At the age of 14 you will be able to be served at the que sara pub even younger if your a girl with long blonde hair with big breasts (allegedly*).
Most of the drug dealers are located on Ray streat in the dilapidated victorian terraces you will either have to go to the rays arms beer garden or go to the dealers house your selve.
There are two main gangs in Heaner the HTC (heanor town crew) and the LMC langley mill crew  these two gangs are rivels and spray paint shoddy tags all over town even in the Country park most are out of control scholl kids from the local schools Aldercar community languge college and Heanor gate science college.
The worse place in heanor from personal experience is Kew cressent it is a streat with around 30 council house on it might only sound small but its as if all the problems from a full blown estate have been rammed in this little streat
it is hell on earth everyone who lives on it are extremely ugly fat and smell all women on the streat have around 7 children all with different dads. I have noticed when driving by at speed that all house have trampolines in the garden the new symbol of a council estate. Everyone on this streat knows how to grow drugs and have taken them by the time they are 8 When I was 10 we where learning about drugs in class and a boy from this street put his hand up when the teacher showed us a picture of LSD and said Ive had some of that before daddy sells it amazingly the teacher didnt do anything she looked use to it!! When I was 12  got my bike stolen on this street which is why I hate it and the dirty scum bags who live on it.
Before I stop writting there are some nice people in Heanor but not many.
PS every single teen ive come across in the schools or on the street binge drink at least twice a week even the geeks do it.

* Inserted by admin for legal reasons!