Spondon has long been the fortress of Derby to the chav mongrols, but is slowly being taken over by the chav scurge. Spondon is an odd place, as half of the suburb is a stinking shit hole of a council estate – with such delights as plastic garden ornaments on roofs (perferably from argos) and an accumulated IQ of 0.5. However, the other half is generally a nice place apart from certain hotspots of chav activity.

One of these places is Brunswood park – a favourate for the chav filth to drink what can only be described as alcohol flavoured lemonade in a suspicious light green bottle. The pathetic park equipment is broken at least twice a day and the kerbs of the surrounding streets are heavily occupied by chavs (please note to watch your step in these areas as various bodily liquids can be found underfoot). This is made worse by the local corner shop (predictably owned by indians who would snap your hand off for half a piece of dung), which acts as the focal point for chavs – one of the best sitting areas being the bin outside very much like flies around shit. When walking past this shop, be prepared to be stared at by some inferior chavlings who look in every direction but eachother.

The policing in the area is also very chav-supporting – having a good laugh with the pits of society while ignoring their various crimes in the process.

I highly recommend the precint (a line of dilapidated shops) if your looking for a quick shag behind the post office (the earlier your preggers the better!).

Well Heanor where do I start it is an old market town which use to have a thriving community it once had a market that filled the whole town centre up but now theres just a few frames of stalls, a butchers van and a jacket potato stand this is the perfect hang out for the chav as its got something to climb on, benches, a source of food and a man to terorise but this isnt all of it across the streat from the market are the towns main takeaways Dominos pizza Crest of the wave chip shop and Uk fried chicken well here is a description of the three main takeaways ( there are around 20 alltogether and the population is only 23000)

Domminos pizza
This is the newest “corporation” in Heanor after tesco, gregs, aldi,instore and home bargains all chav favourites you may note Domminos has provided jobs for some chavs who want to get free pizza or are forced to for work there by the judge (allegedly*). I have to say they do make a good pizza there.

Crest of the wave ship shop

Well there are two sections in this “Restuarnt” the take away section where all the chavs come in to collect there sunday lunch and the back sit down area where familys and old people come to have a traditional meal of fish and chips its a realy nice place to go for your dinner but it burnt down recently all the police are saying is suspicious (allegedly*), so a chav probably petrol bombed it or chucked a spliff at we just dont know all we know is that its the second building on that sterat to burn down recently, the last place was knock of ghetto other wise know as the cossy market (which is becoming a william hill bookies so now within 50 metrers of each other a william hill, ladbrokes and betfred)

Uk fried chicken

As far as I know this is the chavs favourite hang out as it does fast food cheaply the chavs go in call the foreign owners nasty racist names then leave with the food they’ve prepared it makes no sense to me.

Most of the chavs in heanor are aged between 2 – 40 bellow that age of 2 the children arent alowed out on the streets yet to young YES I have seen toddlers drinking on streat corners at around 10 at night this normaly happens in langley mill which is also on chav towns. Most people now only live to 40 in this area after this they pay to move to spain with money they’ve made dealing drugs or got from insurance fraud.
At the age of 14 you will be able to be served at the que sara pub even younger if your a girl with long blonde hair with big breasts (allegedly*).
Most of the drug dealers are located on Ray streat in the dilapidated victorian terraces you will either have to go to the rays arms beer garden or go to the dealers house your selve.
There are two main gangs in Heaner the HTC (heanor town crew) and the LMC langley mill crew  these two gangs are rivels and spray paint shoddy tags all over town even in the Country park most are out of control scholl kids from the local schools Aldercar community languge college and Heanor gate science college.
The worse place in heanor from personal experience is Kew cressent it is a streat with around 30 council house on it might only sound small but its as if all the problems from a full blown estate have been rammed in this little streat
it is hell on earth everyone who lives on it are extremely ugly fat and smell all women on the streat have around 7 children all with different dads. I have noticed when driving by at speed that all house have trampolines in the garden the new symbol of a council estate. Everyone on this streat knows how to grow drugs and have taken them by the time they are 8 When I was 10 we where learning about drugs in class and a boy from this street put his hand up when the teacher showed us a picture of LSD and said Ive had some of that before daddy sells it amazingly the teacher didnt do anything she looked use to it!! When I was 12  got my bike stolen on this street which is why I hate it and the dirty scum bags who live on it.
Before I stop writting there are some nice people in Heanor but not many.
PS every single teen ive come across in the schools or on the street binge drink at least twice a week even the geeks do it.

* Inserted by admin for legal reasons!