Welcome to the chav hole that is Donnington in Telford. Please enjoy your stay in this place where Nike shocks breed and Burberry is painted onto people aposed to wearing it

Donnington has other things to offer as well, such as the occasional threat, or if your lucky the occasional glassing from small ‘wreck-heads’ drinkin’ bottles of wkd and smoking paper pretendin’ to get stoned. The chav’s have 4 main watering holes in Donnington. The main one being ‘the Jockey Inn’. There is accommodation for sitting, and basketball hoops, to put young skaters’ boards or children’s hats in the local park.
Donnington also has a growing population of 90-degree hats, the population has seemed to go from 60 to 61 as one child has joined the herd. Mostly Donnington has to offer is probably the inbreeding of ‘tracki’s’ tucked in sock’ this is a rather funny sight, ‘tis even funnier when it rains, they all moan about wet feet.

Continue reading “Donnington in telford” »

I have lived in a village near Telford for 21 years and to my horror when I was driving through the village last week i noticed a group of chavs had arrived and were hanging around doing f**k all dressed in their usual attire that I am familiar with from the hole that is telford town centre, I was tempted to reverse back home and retrive my baseball bat to show them how I felt, not sure how they came across our rural village but I will be damned if they breed and take over like they are doing everywhere else.
Continue reading “Telford” »

its difficult to know where to start with oswestry as a chav town but the population of chavs is growing almost every week,as more and more street racers roar there oversized dustbin exhausts trying to make as much disturbance as they can. But the main gathering point which i think makes oswestry unique to chav culture is ‘The Vic’ it is the local nightclub where, once a month will open its doors to under 16′s only. This is a must be place for all young chavsters where chavettes wear skirts which are so small could be worn as belts on most men. The chavs dance through the night until they come out and cause a riot where there main aim everyweek is to get the police involved as most of them masturbate over the police women in uniform. This gathering of chavs will cause pilgrims from all around to come to oswestry including adult chavs who (even though they cant go in the under 16′s) like to speed around and perv at the underage birds. Another fun game the chavs play is to see how much alcohol (forbidden) can they bring in without being caught while the losers wait outside until the rest come out when they can run through the town smashing stuff and getting ‘totally paraletic’ (an actual chav quote).Finally i come to the conclusion of a new arise of a chav item of clothing………..The ‘Bench’ jacket these are now more common than hooped earrings amoung chavs and even though many think this may be ‘stylish’ this is by no means stylish and is definetely a chav mark of distinction. Well with that bombshell i end my chav report thanks for reading!

When you first walk around Shrewsbury you wouldn’t think it was a chav town, and compared to some other places I’ve been it’s not that bad, but make no mistake, they’re here and they’re probably standing at the Argos jewelry counter right now eyeing up some gold signet ring.

Chav hot spots in Shrewsbury:

Outside McDonald’s – They’ve been hanging round outside there as long as I can remember. I have no idea why chavs congregate outside McDonalds (or Maccy D’s as they like to call it), it’s just one of those facts of life.

The Bus Stop – They can be seen crawling all over here, usually harrasing some old lady for the extra 20p then need for the bus ride home to Monkmoore, Harlescott or Telford Estate.

Liquid – I suppose it is possible to have fun here, even when your shoes are stuck to the floor, but you have to admit that it’s 50% chav at the best of times.

Flares – I don’t even go in there because it’s gayer than a naked-man-pyramid but I hear it’s where chavs go when they get to 30.

Wilkinson’s – That who area is infested by 30 somethings called Sharon. Wtf.

Any sports shop – The usual magnet to chavs, go into any sports shop and you’ll find them looking at the caps to find one they can wear at some crazy 90 degree angle to their head.

THE BIG QUESTION: Do chavs know that they are infact chavs?

Seems unlikely. Some chavs grow out of it when they’re 14 or so, others are destined for a life of wife beating, harrasing old ladies and standing outside shops drooling on the windows.

A SHREWSBURY TWIST ON THE CHAV – The Skate Rat Chav / Avril Lavigne Chav

I’ve noticed a lot of these round Shrewsbury, little annoying shoplifters carrying skateboards around who can’t do much with them other than use them to break windows on entry. Also, Avril Lavigne type chavs who think they’re punk as f**k just because they’ve got some striped elbow sock things. You know you like Craig David, why resist?

I’d like to end with a little message to anyone who’s name is Kev, Big Dave, or any nickname ending with ‘o’ such as Devo. You’re a twat, stay at home in Monkmoore and keep the inbreeding there.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, the heart of the west midlands where the birds sing and the coal mines used to churn. Unfortuantly times have changed within the last two decade or so, chavs have infested towns and unfortuanly they are spreading internationally now. But this is not the point Chavs are slowly creeping into my everyday life, bridgnorth was once free of chavs now when i come back from my weekly shopping trip i see and chav father and a Chavette pushing there offspring around my beloved town. This i have to say is a sad sight and it happens on a regular basis, the local Kwiksave is a hot spot for chavlings who have been lost and can never be recovered back into normal society. They like to stand outside with thier adidas trainers glowing underneath a lamp post which has various insults such as”courtney is a slag” in black marker pen. Many species of chav have a non-supeior intellect and think they are hard and tough, this sometimes is true but the majority of the time chavs a not muh stronger than a a moquisto underneath a fly swatter, this story proves it: once when i was waiting in dinner que and and small little migdet chav comes up and eloquently tells the dinner lady to f**k off as i muttered under my breathe”w@nker” he unfortuanlyb heard Oooo i thought i was in for a beating but instead he turned around and was almost crying the tears were litterally welling up in his eyes, since that day i haven’t been afraid of them. Another thing is recently around my town the tag MYE or MIE or some kind of chav inscription has appeared all over, the language of the chav is a mystery as well observe:
Chav being:Sup bruv, shit man what up 2day wiv u?
Translation:Hello my good man, i’m not feeling to well today, how are you?
This is exactly what i mean, Chavs should be put on a separte island where they can be left to (a) either breedor (b)Kill eachother.
That is my conclusion