Chavtowns – Britain's worst places to live!

As you approach this leafy farm town out in the far west edge of Oxfordshire, you would be forgiven to think that this pretty little market town would be a suitable area to rest your weary head during the out of hours from a busy hectic life.  You would be forgiven, of course, because I made the same (admittedly) poor judgment of Faringdon.

The streets are lined with cottages and townhouses built from Cotswold Stone.  The pubs are as traditional as they get.  The cafe’s have also won awards for their cuisine.  On the face of it, this place seems like country heaven, especially for a city worker who doesn’t mind the (almost) reasonable drive into London.

Once you have been through the processes of buying or renting a property, however, things take a slightly darker turn.  During the day you would think you live in a painting of perfection, but as darkness descends over the Folly the little scroats descend into the marketplace and carpark ready to wreak havoc across every person brave enough to venture out into these cold, dark streets.

Yes, it sounds strange that such a haven for the retired and exhausted could become a nightmare, but once you have experienced the average Friday evening when you attempt to go to Budgens to get those items you forgot on your last big shop, you will understand.  Nestling in the carpark adjacent to the entrance to the shop you will find a small handful of Chav Street Urchins that will heckle your every move and all you will see through the stock-issue Nike Hood is piercing eyes fixated back at you.  As the darkness comes in, the small handful will gradually increase, as will the sound of top quality MP3′s being blasted like a tortured cat from each of their Mobile Phones until eventually they will be eating chips and spitting in droves at passers by.

Nothing ends the evening like a fight and an ambulance or police car, and Faringdon never fails to disappoint here – the sounds of sirens often spell the evening alarm for the local ‘youff’ telling them it is now time for curfew, but only before they have a good peer at what is happening and who will be carted away by either stretcher or cuff.

So, all you migratory city folk beware, Faringdon – as pretty as it is – has an ever increasing Chav population which you will only see at evenings – which is the down side – this is when you are home.

With the historically dangerous Woodcock road estate in the south of North Norwich, the ‘gray’ area of Mile Cross’s Semen Towers next door, and the Chav estate that is Ives Road to the north, anyone wanting to live privately in this area avoiding such lovelies as bony-white-faced drudged up shits, should look elsewhere. Anything goes here, from large scale steal thefts from local business [1], to the thieves and ASBO junkies in Ives Road Pennyroyal [2], and domestic violence ringing out at night in the Woodcock estate.

Police are a rarity unless you have an overdue parking ticket. I rented a property in this area for 8 months and made a list of my observations for the record.

* Loud music
* Youths milling about
* Adults drinking in the streets
* Drunk revelers
* Fights
* People milling about in the shadows
* Never ending DIY
* Skivers from school
* The workshy and aimless
* Bullying and racism openly in the street
* Shouting, swearing in the street
* Quiet families forced out
* Rubbish in gardens
* My bike stolen
* My parcels stolen
* Aggressive driving
* Garden trespass
* Dogs barking at night and running wild
* Late night parties
* Fireworks off season
* Noisy kids
* Children crying their way to school
* Cats howling for hunger
* Drugged up manic adults
* Openly smoking cannabis
* Wife beating in street
* Domestic arguments

The Norfolk Constabulary website profiles Norwich north and the surrounding estates which summarizes just nicely.

“There are areas within the Mile Cross, Catton and Fiddlewood (Ives Road) neighbourhood that are amongst the most deprived in England and, as with any urban area, there are a number of policing challenges. With the large amount of people living in the area there are a number of issues including drug misuse, criminal damage and anti-social behaviour.”

See you on the street corner!

* References:
Details from publicly accessible information.
[1] www.norfolk.police.uk/saferneighbourhoods/myneighbourhood/milecrosscattonfiddlewood.aspx
[2]  http://bit.ly/9WKTFy [EDP 24 News]

Well what can i say about hyde gee cross its population is filled with smack heads asbo teenagers smelly old drunks and pakistani people that cant speak a word off english .

To start with – The smack heads well you will normaly see a smack head in the town center of hyde asking you for 20p what then goes up to a pound or they will be running pushing there newest robbed mounting bike to the nearest phonebox to ring for there bag they will probley be wearing a cap trainers from the 90s and clothes they have stolen from outside the charity shop the night before it will normaly be around 9 or 11 am when you will see one after that you might see one around midnight to early morning when they are mooching round your garden robbing you blind if you see a smackhead with your stuff they have just stolen they will automaticly tell you they found it. nearly all of the smackheads round hyde will be hopping about because they have DVT from all the drug use.

The asbo teenagers – well the asbo teenagers are most often called Jodie Chelsea Charlotte Nicole Lauren Amy or sophie As for the boys they could be called enything from JJ Yoges or Diddy the asbo teenagers CHILL on the tracks the cemertry the market any were and every were they can basicly they are allways pissed up in there henleys jumpers with the pants tucked in there socks that is if they havent got there bedware on the girls look like umper lumpers and a few of them wear the hair like amy winehouse if not they will have there hair scraped back with a greasy fringe scraped to the side of there forheads and a scruffy bun on top off there head with bits hanging out all over the place these teenagers usualy go about bragging how theve slept with 20 or more people at the age of 15 or 16 and are usualy in a big groups screaming  abuse at the community or at eachover most off the time they have weeks old makeup on and just keep putting more layers on. also they will have a 3 liter bottle of whitestorm each followed by a spliff hanging out there mouths.

As for the pakistanis and the drunks well the pakistanis just go around spitting all over the place and selling drugs to the teenagers and  smackheads hyde dosent look like a town in england it looks like a town in india they think most the areas are there TURFF and white people are not alound in there TURFF or they will gang beat you up and then the drunks sit with the teenagers on the market or were they find them and then will go in the shop for the teenagers 17 liters of cider and then the teenagers will end up fighting usualy with the drunk then they will all get arrested and will be back out in no more than 6 hours to start it all again.

Having lived in this seemingly peaceful & quaint seaside town all my life it seems like a relaxing place to live.  However, & obviously, there is another side to this story.

The Ramsgate tourist board pride itself on having a Royal Harbour.  So.  Who the fuck wants to see it? Essentially it’s just a just a place where boats park.  Occasionally, ferries go to Oostende & Dunkirk.  Who’s going on these ferries when there only a 20 minute drive & a channel tunnel journey away from Calais where the Utopia of cheap fags & booze awaits.  It’s the only town in the World who’s appearance is made more attractive by an off shore windfarm, which to be honest, in most places are an eyesore & essentially just lampposts with the Mercedes logo spinning from them.

Now the town centre itself.  I feel the best way to describe it, is imagine an Olympic Village.  No the inhabitants aren’t at the peak of physical fitness, instead there are lots of people wearing tracksuits, who can barely speak English.  Most of them have also perfected the Manchester monkey walk with their Doberman’s on a leach made out of a chain link fence stolen from a car park of a furniture store warehouse.

It is such a bad place to live now, that when the cannabis farms in the town were destroyed by the Police, it must have left a gaping hole in our local economy so deep it is beyond ever recovering.  You will often see market stalls set up in the middle of the town centre which makes it impossible to cut a wide berth when you see someone coming up to you & trying to sell you stolen second hand goods at a largely inflated price, of which they refer to as a ‘pwopper bargain mate’.  With the amount of different stuff on sale, from beach towels to alarm clocks, it is literally a convention for ‘Jack’s of all trades. Masters of fuck all’.

The only good thing about the town centre was Woolworths.  It’s not there anymore.  Infact the contributing factor to Woolworths going out of business was probably because the chavs of the town, which there are many, stole so much stuff they were running at a loss for the entire company nationwide.

The Newington Estate is a great example, of how the benefits system has failed the tax payers of Great Britain.   It’s a good thing the Jeremy Kyle studio is in Manchester or they would just have people turning up from here all the time.  I have frequently visited this estate & on a couple of occasions I’ve seen cars on fire in the street.  I must say that not all people from here are scum, but the ones who are, are the worst type of scum.  You know, the sort that never work or want to work, have children at 14, have their hair pulled back so much that a cheap alternative to Botox has been created, drop out of school relying on decent people to support their alcohol & drug problems.  Yeah, that type of scum, who if you ask to go fuck themselves, they may give it a try.

The night life isn’t that great either, although there are many different nightclubs & pubs with most of them having free entry.  I will use only one example to make my point. The Sovereign night club.  Most nights, at least two lads will have a fight or an argument outside, where the rest of the public (including myself) just watch on as a sick form of entertainment, might aswell though, inside the music is rubbish, the TV’s just show Sky Sports News on it’s ever boring loop & no one can afford the drinks.   Then when your leaving the clubs & maybe fancy a thing to eat, you may get assaulted in a kebab shop like I was once. This twat said he slipped on the carpet & bumped into me ‘by accident’ when instead he punched me in the back of the head & pushed me into the glass display where my elbow was cut, although the punch was pretty weak & he is probably a heroin junkie.

This town used to be good, as was Margate, in being popular seaside towns for many tourists but most of the people that have moved from suburbs in London have turned it into an urban wasteland.  I am actually surprised that the suicide rate for this town isn’t higher than that at Beachy Head as it’s so morbidly a depressing place to live now.  I’m not denying that some parts of it are good, i.e. most of the westcliff is pleasant, usually clean parks, good views of the sea (although some days you can clearly see France) & the beach, but now it is the only place in the world where a tuxedo & a shell suit are the considered the same thing.

I am recommending immediate evacuation from here for the decent citizens, maybe Canterbury & maybe further beyond.  Then maybe the 10,000 artillery shells it deserves to have levelled at it will commence.  To some up how rubbish it is here, there’s a verse about it in ‘The Thanet Anthem’, search it in YouTube & it will give an indication as to what I’m going on about.

Buckingham is a small market town about 15 miles from that renowned concrete anthill, Milton Keynes. To the untrained eye, it seems like a rather lovely place to live – old buildings devoid of 1960s brutalism, two supermarkets, lots of little indie shops etc. But the only thing that’s good about it…is not living there.

Despite the posh name and appearance, Buckingham is an absolute hole. Unless you are a chav, there is piss all to do here. Everybody seems to be related to or fucking each other, and has more preteen mums than the average Bradford estate. There is zero nightlife, so the only place to go is Milton Keynes (Oceana) and obviously EVERYONE goes there.  Dare to walk through the town centre at any time of the day, and you will be greeted by WKD-swigging, Sovereign-smoking, 14-year-old residents of the council estates Westfields and Western Avenue, as well as the other no-go areas such as Anderton Road and Bourton Road. If your attire lacks any sporting attributes you will have “facking goff” hurled at you because obviously, anyone who ain’t a chav must be a goff. And Buckingham doesn’t like them, hence why most can be found in MK.

Bus services are an absolute joke, with a crummy metal hut posing as the “bus station” where one bus per hour stops if you’re lucky. Cornwalls Meadow car park is THE place to be on Saturday nights, where modified car owners hold their little cruises. Chandos Park is the most common shagging ground for the town’s residents, as well as the annual Charter Fair, where, despite the rides, is just another place for the WKD-swiggers to convene. Beatings, abuse, armed robberies all regularly take place in this regally-monikered hell hole. People here DO NOT WEAR TWEED. They style themselves after Jack Tweed, more like!

This dismal little excuse for a town is best avoided unless you desire to surround yourself with wannabe-cockney Shameless extras.